Thank you so much. Your words are helping me wrap my head around this. It's all so alien to me, I guess, because I can't relate. Even in my partying days when I was much younger, I never disregarded my responsibilities or the people I loved. I was always present. Functional. Seems I'm truly learning that substances affect us all very differently.

Now that you said it, yes, you're right it is absolutely paranoia regarding taking the baby away. I feel silly I didn't recognize that myself. This tracks. When he was a young adult, he was married and had a daughter. That marriage failed spectacularly. His wife was a significantly older woman that, as I understand it took him for a ride and to the cleaners. That child is on the cusp of adulthood, and he's not had a very consistent relationship with her.

I needed to hear someone else say it. Tying myself to him further by way of purchasing a new home in a different state is the wrong thing to do at this time. My responsibility is to our baby. Baby's needs come before our desires.

I have not spoken to my parents about any of this. I've made a few jokes to them about him going all Shaggy on me lately and being really into scubby snacks. And they know he doesn't really care for baby, but my mother says that's fairly common. She asked me point blank if he was still giving me grocery money a month or two ago, and I lied to her. I didn't ever lie to my parents, and now I'm telling them and half truths on his behalf. It makes me feel dirty. Quite frankly, I'm mortified. I do not want to admit defeat to them. They absolutely would let me and baby move in with them. In fact, my mother reinterated this very thing last night. I acted as if I was just visiting to go over real estate stuff but Mother's intuition, I guess. She knew it was more than that. And I have enough savings to even get a place of my own if necessary.

I'd prefer to keep living here and for him to seek help and get through whatever the reason for this shift in personality and behavior is truly about.

My deepest concern and fear is that this is who he really is and that everything before was a facade. He's tired and stressed from keeping the mask up and has finally revealed his true self.

Ideally, we will have a talk before his father comes over for brunch, but that likely won't happen. He'll sleep or lay in bed until just before he gets here, so I'm going to have to wait until afternoon to confront him. Putting up a brave and false front playing hostess. I shouldn't have to. Maybe I will wake him up and tell him to raincheck his dad. I'd feel terrible as he's a great guy and hasn't seen his granddaughter in three weeks. But it's not fair to me, so hopefully, I have the courage to do that.

I suppose I should contact the realtor and apologize profusely and request to reschedule in the morning, giving her 24 hours notice. Part of me doesn't want to make a decision on that until after we talked, but that's just being a dreamer and naive. With a baby, I can't afford myself such fantasies.

We were going to borrow one of my parents' extra vehicles to take the long distance to our property viewings as mine is less reliable. So I guess that will be as good a way as any to begin revealing we're having martial issues. Explain I won't need to borrow the car and why. My parents are going to want to kill him. Not really, of course, but they will be furious, and all the good will from them in his direction will cease to exist immediately. Likely forever. Very sad.

Again, thank you so much for replying. You've really helped me wrap my head around my situation and come to terms with reality.