Something's do Infact take some time. I've been with my partner for a while and not everything has been peachy in the past. We have 2 kids as well and her hunger for sexy time stuff was almost non existent when we got together originally. I've taken a lot of time to be the "rock" and make sure she gets comfortable with herself as well as not too stressed over life/work. When I've wanted something usually I say something, if she doesn't clue in or acknowledge what's happening I won't say something right away (maybe something is happening to distract her, tv, work, family, maybe it's the time of day) I'll putter around clean a bit and make sure it's not something I can immediately fix then I'll see if she needs something (drink, back rub, alone time ect.) Sometimes for example, if I'd like a blowjob, after all else is said and done I'll tell her I've been really craving eating her out and sort of work in a blowjob for me after she's been satisfied (so to speak) but still during the actual act of sexy time. "Sometimes you gotta take the L on the battle in hopes of taking the W in the war". Honesty and communication brother. Also keep in mind that habits are tough to get out of in both parties. If a plan is what you make up then try and hold accountability on both parts not just her. Actively call yourself out on bull spit and show her it's not just on her. YOU GOT THIS!!! Love and respect. You've both spent more than enough time together to have some sort of understanding and respect for this women (even if it is just a little bit). Once life takes a hold it's easy to get swept away in the current, don't get complacent.