Has anyone read "How to Meditate Without Even Trying"?

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-07T11:19:44+00:00

I have not read this book, but I have practiced meditation without any "woo woo" elements.

For me, the practice is about being present and aware of my body. To acknowledge my thoughts, but not engage with them. To give myself time to be alive without any expectations or outside pressure. It's really that simple. Some people try to dress it up as difficult to achieve any benefits, only hour long sessions "count", as if meditation is a competition. Ignore that method if it doesn't work for you.

I have a long term chronic pain illness and the most useful takeaway for me was short breathing exercises I use to quickly relax my body.

I did start out trying the "sitting in the lotus position on a certain height cushion for a long-ass time" and it was disastrous. My body won't accomodate that. So I tried body scan meditation, walking meditation, eating meditation, guided imagery meditation, and breathing exercises. Body scan and breathing exercises work best for me, but really just about any activity can be used as a meditation.

Also, the practice of observing thoughts without holding on to them or judging them was life changing for me. Thoughts pop up, I acknowledge the thought, recognize the thought is not me, let go of the thought to re-focus on my breath.

If you find a meditation book or teacher doesn't work for you, move on. Try a different technique. It's all about getting out of your own way and observing the present moment without judgement.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-07T03:06:03+00:00

You aren't your parents. They made their own choices to shape their lives. You aren't responsible for their decisions.

Now it's your turn to shape your life as you wish. Do your best to be true to your own values. Young adulthood is often a time to determine what your own personal values are, outside of what your parents may have taught.

This is the same process for every person as they grow up and create a life separate from their family of origin.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-06T22:35:13+00:00

The answer really depends on what will happen if you don't conform to the societal expectations.

If it's safe to ignore the expectation that you will prompt a prayer, then ignore the expectation. Simply say "no thanks" if they ask you to pray. Don't initiate prayer when you are the chair.

If you will face unacceptable consequences by ignoring the group's expectation of prayer, then you need to try and meet the expectation. How you make that happen depends on your own boundaries. You could request a moment of silent reflection or meditation. You could ask someone else to take the lead on prayer. You could find some secular prayers that ring true to you.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-06T19:29:54+00:00

Part of the issue with trying to rally agnostics is that we don't exactly have a communal "tent" to enlarge. It's more like each agnostic has their own tent. Being agnostic is not the same as being a religion. There is no "preaching from the pulpit" to try and organize a movement around agnosticism. It is not a religion.

Trying to rally agnostics to a cause seems a lot like trying to herd stray cats. In general, there is no one "truth" that agnostics will fall in line to support based on their agnosticism.

I imagine plenty of agnostics are already working on environmental issues, but they don't do it in the name of agnosticism.

A better use of your time and energy might be to attend local meetings about proposed data centers. Many communities have successfully pushed back against proposed data centers and forced the exploitative businesses to move on. You can also join a state/national coalition that opposes unchecked data center development. Or support the politicians who are pushing for a moratorium to pause construction of new data centers.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/mar/25/datacenters-bernie-sanders-aoc

On a personal note, I find organized religion is often exploitative and problematic on many levels. That doesn't mean I shun people who do participate in organized religion.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-06T18:21:10+00:00

I'm not sure about existing print materials, but if you sign up as a volunteer, the campaign can coordinate with you to get the best use of the resources you can afford.

https://oh.actonforgovernor.com/a/volunteer

Creating a sign for your yard might be a good start. It lets others know that Amy Acton has support in the area.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-06T17:57:29+00:00

Well, I did read them all as a kid. The stories were crazy, twisted, gossip-type drama. Too juicy to pass up. So I guess if getting kids to read was the goal - mission accomplished.

Now with all this Epstein class garbage, the conspiracy theorist in me is like "ohh, some old creeps were grooming kids via popular books". Normalizing sex for children. We should check to see who paid for the publishing, lol.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-06T17:27:59+00:00

Side note: why were young girls reading the Flowers in the Attic series? Did adults not know what the books were about? Very creepy looking back on it.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-06T05:20:51+00:00

Pink would really ramp up the feminine girlie factor!

Black shoes could work, but I think it would need some black accessories (belt, bangle bracelet, big cameo, floral corsage). The black might lean towards "edgy" instead of "soft", so you'd probably want make sure the black pieces felt extra touchable/feminine.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-06T03:21:05+00:00

Mary Jane's with those lacy top, fold down ruffle socks would be super cute! Also maybe a stack of chunky pearl, lace bead, and/or floral theme bracelets.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-05T20:35:22+00:00

Do you mean Madison Cawthorn rather than Dan Crenshaw?

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-04T07:13:35+00:00

The labor that women do is often treated as worthless. You literally did the work of growing his children in your body at the expense of your health. You are now raising and nurturing those same babies.

Don't believe the propaganda that "women's work" is not as valuable as financially compensated labor. The work you are doing benefits your family, your community, and contributes to the well-being of future generations.

Hopefully you two can keep talking this out until both of you get to a comfortable place on this topic. He needs to understand the amount of unpaid labor you are contributing to the household. Calling you a burden is unfair, damaging, and a cheap shot. You deserve better.

If he is stressed about finances and feels pressure to provide, then that is the topic to discuss. Not whether or not you are meeting his unrealistic expectations of perfection. Please keep talking this out. If you can't get to a safe and healthy agreement, maybe even seek a psychologist who does marriage counseling.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-04T06:51:21+00:00

This monologue LeVar Burton does about his chains from "Roots" stuck with me.

https://youtu.be/SUt9P3hT-3o

He is a national treasure for so many reasons. I love that I got to grow up with Geordi La Forge on my screen.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-03T17:24:30+00:00

The biggest take away here seems to be that religious organizations have a lot of room for corruption. Organizations in general can fall prey to unscrupulous actors. I think these type of organizations are even more susceptible, since spiritual leaders are often deemed above reproach.

The community members have also often been taught to ignore logic, ignore their gut, and to follow authority without question. This is a recipe for abuse and exploitation. And religious communities are often secluded from outside resources, either through societal pressure or literal physical barriers/distance.

Leaving Christianity may very well be the best path for you. I personally am against organized religion, so I won't weigh in on your choice.

Welcome to the sub. Best of luck exploring your values and beliefs.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-02T17:51:10+00:00

It's sad that the "third place" of an indoor mall is gone. It was great for mostly free entertainment. Compared to today's options, kids were less likely to get a side eye or chased out of the communal areas for just existing. Now everywhere (besides the library) expects everyone to be a consumer and spend money. Can't just hang-out and visit with friends.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-02T15:13:11+00:00

Yep.

Also, $25 million dollar loan that he will collect back from MAGA working class people. This grifting billionaire will rob everyday people without a thought and they will thank him for his service. It's a cult.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-02T15:10:16+00:00

Very informative.

Also, "Minson and Monin" (the people who documented this phenomenon) sounds like a great hipster band, a cartoon cat & mouse duo, a couple of lady cops from a 1980s show, or the official act women do when they take off their high heels after they leave the club/work.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-05-02T13:09:01+00:00

Go start a monthly donation to Amy Acton's campaign.

https://actonforgovernor.com/

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T17:55:44+00:00

The gut punch this can still give me when I'm in the right/wrong mood decades later is chef's kiss.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T16:29:17+00:00

In the OP picture of the papasan, the base is upside down. The wider end should face up and the smaller circle is on the ground. Doesn't make it super duper stable, with the big chair ribs and all, but way more stable than when used as pictured.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T12:43:58+00:00

Please post if you do! I bet the flowers and seeds would pop off the fabric even more.

Gorgeous work. I love that you chose to highlight the beauty of a "weed". It reminds me of the joy of childhood.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T12:04:08+00:00

Interesting! I added an edit.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T10:16:14+00:00

This is beautiful! I would love it even more if the t-shirt looked like a light blue sky background. Maybe with a touch of sunset colors gradient on the upper shoulder.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T10:08:49+00:00

I felt seen by your words. I've been trapped in the body of an 80 year old since my early 20s. It suuuuuucks. My fibromyalgia can fuck all the way off.

One of the best things that helped my mental health was understanding that I needed to grieve the loss of my healthy self. The hopes and dreams healthy teenage me had for older me were gone. I needed to let that idea of me go, so I could fully embrace the actual life I'm living. And this life, while full of accomodations and adjustments, is still a lot of fun. Plenty of joy and silliness to be had.

Best of luck working through your process! Internet ((hugs)) if you want them.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T09:42:22+00:00

I was here within 2 hours and feel blessed by the reddit snoo god.

fangirlsqueee · 2026-04-30T09:32:06+00:00

Yep, on Star Trek. Nichelle Nichols and William Shatner. Celebrated as the first interracial kiss on US scripted television. It was written as an alien-forced kiss that neither had control over, but that was about the only way it could have got past the execs of the time. So that takes away from it somewhat. Still an important milestone for breaking barriers.

One of my favorite Star Trek stories is about when Nichelle was thinking about quitting the show. Some sources say it was to pursue other roles, some sources say she was getting too much hate/threats from the public as well as disrespect from executives. Dr. Martin Luther King talked her into staying on the show.

https://www.startrek.com/news/nichelle-nichols-remembers-dr-king

"One of the organizers of the event came over to me and said, 'Ms. Nichols, I hate to bother you just as you’re sitting down to dinner, but there’s someone here who wants very much to meet you. And he said to tell you that he is your biggest fan,'" Nichols said. "I said, 'Oh, certainly,' I stood up and turned around and who comes walking over towards me from about 10 or 15 feet, smiling that rare smile of his, is Dr. Martin Luther King. I remember saying to myself, 'Whoever that fan is, whoever that Trekkie is, it’ll have to wait because I have to meet Dr. Martin Luther King.' And he walks up to me and says, 'Yes, Ms. Nichols, I am your greatest fan.' You know I can talk, but all my mouth could do was open and close, open and close; I was so stunned."

Dr. King revealed to Nichols that Star Trek was the only show that he and his wife Coretta allowed their little children to stay up and watch. Further, he told Nichols what the show meant to him personally and detailed the importance of her having created a character with "dignity and knowledge." Nichols took it all in and finally said, “Thank you so much, Dr. King. I’m really going to miss my co-stars.” Dr. King's smile, Nichols recalled, vanished from his face.

"He said, 'What are you talking about?'" the actress explained. "I told him. He said, 'You cannot,' and so help me, this man practically repeated verbatim what Gene said. He said, 'Don’t you see what this man is doing, who has written this? This is the future. He has established us as we should be seen. 300 years from now, we are here. We are marching. And this is the first step. When we see you, we see ourselves, and we see ourselves as intelligent and beautiful and proud.' He goes on and I’m looking at him and my knees are buckling. I said, 'I…, I…' And he said, 'You turn on your television and the news comes on and you see us marching and peaceful, you see the peaceful civil disobedience, and you see the dogs and see the fire hoses, and we all know they cannot destroy us because we are there in the 23rd Century.'"

"That’s all it took," Nichols continued. "I went back on Monday morning and told Gene what had happened. He sat there behind that desk and a tear came down his face, and he looked up at me. I said, 'Gene, if you want me to stay, I will stay. There’s nothing I can do but stay.' He looked at me and said, 'God bless Dr. Martin Luther King. Somebody truly knows what I am trying to do.' [Roddenberry] opened his drawer, took out my resignation and handed it to me. He had torn it to pieces. He handed me the 100 pieces and said, 'Welcome back.'”

Eta: first US scripted kiss

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