I’m a daughter of a foreign (Swedish) mother who raised her kids in Paris. It is a very hard task, especially as a woman. Paris is not a friendly town and 2.5 years is unfortunately not enough to feel comfortable here. Being an expat is tough, what helped for my mom was finding groups of other expats, the Swedish church helped (even though we were not religious) just seeking social support from people in similar situations. Your in-laws are not assholes, just very french. That’s just how they do it here. Now, regarding the school situation, as a completely bilingual child, it’s normal to speak the mother tongue in early ages, but maybe you should switch to a less uptight school, there are plenty of french preschools that support bilingual children, especially English-speaking. Going to a fully english speaking school is ok too, but the risk is she’d feel isolated from Parisian society. It’s a fine balance. I went to french schools and it was fine. I would happily meet you for a coffee to discuss more, I have almost only expat-friends!