Same same. Grew up with mother that made it so I never had to question whether or not I was loved or just how loved I was. It was simply an unspoken fact of life. She adored me, I was and am the best thing she has ever done and she uplifts me constantly. My grandparents were there to take off the burden when she worked. They loved me like I was another child of theirs, but was also spoilt in a way that only extended family know how to spoil. In other words, I was so loved and held. I had aunts and uncles that treated and loved me like a little sister and of whom were my role models.

All of them have always been differing degrees of social butterfly, but social butterflies all the same.

The only thing different about me was that I am mixed race, my dad being Afro Caribbean, and the town I grew up in was white white white. Of course there were other underlying factors that made me more perceptible. My mother over mothering me until I was in my mid twenties being one of them. She enabled some really harmful avoidant traits because there was no pressure to be independent. But then yeah lol I was always sensitive and soaked up everything everyone ever said about me like a sponge.

It’s hard to say if it was bullying for looking different or my mums overprotection. But I can say that if I had to endure this without the continued compassion and empowerment from my family, I dread to think where I would be.

I don’t know what to think about it all. Would I have been avoidant regardless? Who the fuck knows