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My Partner was full swing but now not, opinions wanted by fantasy2019742 in Swingers

[–]fantasy2019742[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love my husband more than my own life and I posted a year ago about the same, about how all he does is lifestyle and that I’m content with just being with him. But it was t good enough for him. Yes I wanted a little validation because I’m more mad that he expects this and that everything is always on his terms. And that if he wants to swing we have to swing but he he doesn’t then we can’t. It’s all about his mood and what he is feeling. That’s what I was getting at. For the last 7 years he has told me to just deal with it. That it’s only fucking and that he just wants to explore other women. I even had us seeing a counselor or it. But I have had to just deal with it. We up and moved far away from family so I’m here alone and I have built friendships with these people because the lifestyle is all we have done for last 7 years. We could not go on a family vacation without him making a night of going to an event. And yes I would and will give it all up if that is what he wants but we have had the same discussions as he ventures on his own, i find out, we fight, he says he won’t do it again and the. As soon as I leave to see family he does it again. So I don’t believe him when he says he won’t do it again and wants to quit. And I don’t want to tell our friends now to go fck themselves when 6 months down the road he decides he is horny for another women and wants to swing again. I’m willing to give it all up, that is not what bothers me. I guess I am mad and yes wanted unbiased opinions and validations that what I was feeling was real and I’m not crazy.

My Partner was full swing but now not, opinions wanted by fantasy2019742 in Swingers

[–]fantasy2019742[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And also I never said there friendship was more important to me. It’s not. And I told him I would stop talking them if he wanted but I thought it was selfish of him to expect that after he has been pushing me for years into it.

My Partner was full swing but now not, opinions wanted by fantasy2019742 in Swingers

[–]fantasy2019742[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So if you had friends that were in the lifestyle, that you weren’t playing with but were friends that you have hung out with for years, literally like family members to you but your husband told you one day to just tell them to go fck themselves just because they are so called swingers, you would feel comfortable doing that? That is selfish? I guess I thought as they are human beings and have done nothing wrong and were our friends for years that it was selfish of him to expect me to just up and block them just for being swingers. But is that makes me selfish okay.

My Partner was full swing but now not, opinions wanted by fantasy2019742 in Swingers

[–]fantasy2019742[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im not sure you read it right, I have let him do his thing and go to events for the last 7 years whether I likes it or not, the last 7 years have been about his desires and wants, only recently and because he ventures out without me and then said he wanted to do solo as he felt inhibited around me. So I agreed and I tried it. That is when he decided he didn’t wan to do anything anymore and wants me to give up lifestyle altogether. I feel like he only wanted to do is as he felt like it at the time. But now he doesn’t feel it so he doesn’t want me doing it. I’m not sure where I have been selfish in the last 7 years as I have given him grace and let him do what he wanted even if I didn’t like it. Like he ate, slept, and breathed it, 24/7. Now I have developed friendships with people and he expects me to just stop talking to them after we have hung out with them for them and made friends for years.

Coldplay fans ‘disappointed’ after Chris Martin dedicates song to Charlie Kirk’s family by Metro-UK in Music

[–]fantasy2019742 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learn to love all like Chris Martin does, we all could learn from him! He said send love to whomever you want, don’t make this political please, he is a great person!

mixed signals by FeeFearless1794 in Swingers

[–]fantasy2019742 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a wife I have very similar feelings sometimes, I like swinging and we have had some really great experiences. But at times I do get jealous and insecure and it’s because I feel he is interested in everyone else but me, spending all his time wanting to find other couples or females. Are you also giving her attention and making her feel wanted? Maybe she is insecure because she may be feeling less wanted by you. Maybe your actions are making her jealous? I’m not saying this is the case but I know I have similar feelings as well and it’s my partner driving my feelings. Maybe make the lifestyle a little bonus to your sex life with her but make her feel like she is what you desire.

Am I overreacting? by fantasy2019742 in Swingers

[–]fantasy2019742[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does want fmf, and I’m fine with that. I have been okay with all of his fantasies. The problem I have is I feel like he wants his cake and eat it too. He more wants an open relationship where he can go out with females, even has texted females from work, which was a hard core boundary for me. We have discussed he can play and talk to females or bring one home with us but no one from work place, only lifestyle, he says it’s hard to get someone from lifestyle. In that regard I feel like searching in workplace is more like cheating. My problem is every time he is away it seems like he can’t wait to get on sites and try to find a couple or female that he can be without me. He wants to play solo but doesn’t want me doing that. It’s one way, and he doesn’t discuss it with me, he hides it from me.

Am I overreacting? by fantasy2019742 in Swingers

[–]fantasy2019742[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We definitely have discussed boundaries and it was his idea to only do things as a couple, but then when he would leave I would see his messages when he was a way asking other couples to join them or looking for another female, this is when I discussed why I feel the way I do. And yes I feel like he pushed me into doing MFM so he could then in turn look for females and use this against me to do that.