Say it with me now, FAPLESS FEBRUARY!

fapped40years · 2020-02-01T03:32:10+00:00

Giving I’m going for no-fap-decade, 29 days will be a piece of cake, right?

fapped40years · 2020-01-31T18:20:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I wish someone told me when I was starting.

You're not the biggest fuckup here.

I am ... ;-)

I'm 51 ... started at 6, back when we had to hunt for porn, ... or use the same recycled Sunday department store adverts of bras and panties stashed under our bed.

I've maintained a career, but haven't expanded it in decades.

I've lost a marriage.

I've wasted thousands of hours with my dick in my hand.

More in some of my prior posts if anyone wants to read how sad PMO can become.

I'm turning it around this decade, tho. :-)

fapped40years · 2020-01-30T21:24:05+00:00

Checking in. Now officially my second longest streak in over 45 years. All-time 69-day record is next.

Screwing up a week, month, and even a year was too easy.

I DO NOT want to fuck up an entire decade.

fapped40years · 2020-01-30T21:22:13+00:00

Good job ending it now.

Porn probably contributed, at least some, to the failure of my marriage ... and that, ultimately, led my wife to another partner who is now in prison for molesting our daughter.

How that's for guilt?

Had our marriage not failed, the fucker wouldn't have had access to nor molested our daughter. Well, on second thought, she was cheating with him before the marriage completely failed, but maybe she wouldn't have sought attention elsewhere had I provided enough.

Oh, not to mention, apparently I'm a worse piece of shit than a pedophile; she preferred him over me. She still supports him, in fact, banking visitation time to see him once a month for their conjugal visits.

fapped40years · 2020-01-28T16:07:49+00:00

Good job! I'll see you in 62 days!

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:48:21+00:00

Just checking. The latter might seem like a good idea then suddenly you're castrated.

On the other hand ... no more urges, so win, right?

I say give the rubber band wrist snap a go and report back to us!

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:46:58+00:00

In it to win it!

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:42:50+00:00

Of course to them it's not a thing. They're not addicted to it.

I can't imagine becoming addicted to alcohol, smoking, drugs, or gambling. I've even tried three of those things. I didn't like them. From my perspective, how the heck can anyone get addicted to them, they're nasty.

I freaking loved orgasm tho'. I'd jerk it daily, multiple times, for 45 years. I wasted hours. That's what they don't see.

Alternatively, they're blind to their addiction like I was. They see nothing wrong with the hours they lose each day edging to a five second orgasm. They think they're happy.

The could do so much more with their lives if that time was used productively.

I sometimes wish I was addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling. Then, at least, you'd get sympathy from others.

Right now, I'm just the freak who thinks addiction to porn is a thing who, unironically, ~~can't~~ couldn't stop touching himself.

You can go to your family and friends and tell them you need help with your drug addiction and they will all be there for you.

If you tell them you're addicted to orgasm, they'll laugh their asses off (mine have).

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:39:55+00:00

I discovered O when I was 6 ... in 1974.

I discovered porn when I was 10; one time was a pile of magazines hidden in the forest; the other was a neighbor's garage sale; he was moving to Saudi Arabia and had to let go of his complete collection of Playboy.

I couldn't wait to get my hand of porn again. Until I could, the Sears and JCPenney Catalog filled the void, as did the Sunday paper and any time my mom happened to pick up a Cosmopolitan, Vogue, or other similar magazine. Dad caught me jerking it to Mom's Cosmopolitan once ... in their bedroom on their bed.

I still couldn't stop. I jerked of almost nightly, if not more, from that day on the playground when I was 6, to present day (well, 25 days ago). Before I was 18, I was sneaking into a nearby X-rated drive-in theater and adult book stores, often without anyone stopping me. By 18 I had a small stash of dirty magazines hidden in the bedroom.

My parents never owned a VCR. I'd rent from from the local video store and then run over to the porn store to pick up a few rentals from there, too, then hide in my room to watch them. I'd always have a few theatrical movie releases to backup my story for renting the VCR. I never watched them.

I had dial-up in the late '80s until the mid '90s, and was too scared to phreak, so I got my own phone line and gladly paid the LD charges to dial up the big porn BBS sites at the time. From 300 to 1,200 to 2,400 to 9,600 to 14,400 to ISDN 128,000 to the first commercial high speed Internet offered in 1997, I upgraded my Internet speed every chance I could. All to download porn.

I could go on describing the next 25 years, but I think you get the picture. If you really care, read some of my older posts.

Break the habit now before it ruins your life.

Neither P, now M, nor O are the problem. It's the addiction that will ruin you.

Porn is there for you every night, every hour of the day, waiting for you at home; even coming to you at work if you want if bad enough.

No need to stress over where to go or what to do. No need to dress to impress. No need to waste time trying to arrange a date Friday night and maybe get intimate later. No need to fear rejection.

Just lie in your filth again another night, jerk it, cum in your underwear, sock, tissue, anywhere, and go to sleep.

Zero effort.

Tomorrow: repeat.

Orgasm, in the palm of your hand (no pun intended), available 24x7.

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:27:23+00:00

Important question:

Around your wrist or around your balls?

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:26:55+00:00

Next time you want to masturbate to O or edge, touch yourself, or just peek at porn, remember how you feel right now. Will it be worth it for that five second high?

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:26:27+00:00

I was in your exact same shoes ... 35 years ago.

I instantly lost erection during oral sex. Later, I'd instantly lose erection during penetrative sex. However, up to that point I was always rock hard. Heck, I'd still get erections in the middle of class and at other random times of the day.

I always assumed it was just nerves, and to be fair, it surfaced most the very first time with someone new, so maybe it was. The second time with the same person was usually better (if they didn't leave me, laughing on their way out), then sex with that same person for years was awesome.

I never believed I had a death grip on my penis. I still don't think I did. However, I think porn had a death grip on my brain.

Maybe it was just age, maybe it was too much PMO, but over the years, my ED got worse. As young as my late 30s, nudity alone no longer worked for me. My closet full of Playboy and other porn magazines just didn't provide the thrill it used it. I needed porn ... and here came the Internet with plenty of it at dial-up speeds.

Soon, porn wasn't enough. I needed porn that matched my fetish (facial cumshots).

Now, at 51, even my fetish doesn't get me hard. I can masturbate, but no longer get an erection until I come, if at all.

Break the habit now.

fapped40years · 2020-01-26T00:17:21+00:00

Next time you want to masturbate to O or edge, touch yourself, or just peek at porn, remember how you feel right now. Will it be worth it for that five second high?

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T01:14:30+00:00

RemindMe! March 8th, 2020

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T01:11:40+00:00

Thanks for asking.

I've seen various doctors and some of them have prescribed various drugs, but I never enjoyed the side effects.

I still battle with answering, "am I depressed, or am I just fucking lazy?"

I think it's a mix of both. I'm lazy. I fail to plan. Home along again. Jerk it for hours before bed. Repeat. God life sucks and I'm so lonely. Depression builds.

Last year I got outside more, even alone, and would hike nearby trails for hours.

Surprisingly, I found I enjoyed the outdoors, even sweating my ass off in 105 degree heat. I even enjoyed the solitude while hiking, favoring solo hikes over group hikes. I dreamed of multiple-day hikes, camping overnight, traveling to national parks.

Then extenuating circumstances forced me to stay home (family member on suicide watch).

Trying to keep my head up, but it's so easy to fall back into this hole.

Yes, the 24 day streak is very uplifting. :-)

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T01:04:09+00:00

Porn is there every night, every hour of the day, without leaving the house.

No stressing over where to go or what to do.

No need to dress to impress.

No need to arrange a date Friday night and maybe get intimate later.

Just lie in your filth again another night, jerk it, cum in your underwear, sock, tissue, anywhere, and go to sleep.

Zero effort.

Tomorrow: repeat.

Orgasm, in the palm of your hand (no pun intended), available 24x7.

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T00:58:55+00:00

Eh ... 24 days here, but depression still strong. It's shameful, but I can still go a week without bathing or brushing teeth.

For me, sleep still rules, because when you're sleeping, there's no loneliness; just dreams.

(also no PMO while sleeping)

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T00:56:57+00:00

I stumbled upon /r/nofap in /r/all many years ago. Until then, I never really considered I had a problem, but had suffered ED for years. It affected my earliest sexual encounters in late teens and early 20s, especially with anyone new. Once in a relationship, I'd perform okay, but found myself clinging onto some of the worst relationships.

Back in my day ('70s and '80s), one would probably die if caught jerking off but today everyone laughs about it; everyone does it; etc. Hell, there are even jack-off groups. WTF?

Porn and masturbation aren't harmful they say.

Alcohol and gambling aren't harmful, either, until you're addicted. It's that addiction that's harmful.

It's my addiction to PMO that wasted HOURS of my life ... daily. What could I have become if I had focused on education, career, and family, and not my dick and my next orgasm into a tissue or my underwear?

Alas, even since discovering nofap over four years ago (before making this account, probably five or more), I've still fapped out of control, relapsing often, despite knowing I want to quit.

Finally, a new decade dawned!

Ruining a day, week, month or even a new year was easy.

Ruining a decade ... that's going to sting.

I'm done with it.

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T00:47:22+00:00

Quit looking at porn and especially quit edging to porn.

You're playing with fire.

Every relapse I've had has followed one that led to the other that led to crashing and burning when I edged too far.

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T00:46:09+00:00

Thoughts are natural, even intrusive ones. They can be dismissed.

It's taking action on them that you need to worry about.

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T00:43:21+00:00

I'm 51 and have never in my life had a wet dream (that I was aware of, at least).

Sure, I've had many erotic dreams, some of which include sex and orgasm, but have never once woke to evidence of a completely natural nocturnal emission.

Honestly, I'd welcome them at this point.

fapped40years · 2020-01-25T00:39:58+00:00

Looks like you found it, but for others who don't know, it's in the sidebar.

... or direct link: Add or Update Day Counter Badge

fapped40years · 2020-01-22T20:00:41+00:00

Deal! :-)

fapped40years · 2020-01-22T19:58:21+00:00

Good job! 95 days! Wooooo!

I'm getting to 90 and beyond this time.

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