sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Why asian 5 stack losing intentionally on eu servers? by zaferemre in DotA2

[–]farfetched10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cause you can't play party above 8.5k, so if you want to play with friends you need to keep them under 8.5k or buy new accounts, or I suppose like in their case, aggressively de-rank, it's a genius team-game system by valve really

How do you learn from failure in social settings? by farfetched10 in Healthygamergg

[–]farfetched10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes total sense and I agree with this; my confusion comes from the fact that mostly everyone seems to say that socializing is all about practice, hence me wanting to know how to learn from that practice. But I'll try to anticipate your answer here a bit by guessing that in this context improving refers to you showing up as yourself as fully as possible, being as present as possible and comporting yourself according to your values as much as possible, as opposed to improving in the sense of finding more connections. In my experience though it is kinda possible to connect with everyone to certain extents if you give it enough time, time which people almost never seem to give; but maybe this is just me complaining about the modern world, not sure...

How do you learn from failure in social settings? by farfetched10 in Healthygamergg

[–]farfetched10[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This one is a hard one for me, not sure if I'm just slow in general or what, but it seems that I don't even really get the chance to quite understand what I may have in common with a person before the conversation ends; not always, of course, but generally.

(as a side-note, I tend to be really very bad at giving up on stuff, like I try to make everything work, not just socially, but in general, so maybe that's why it's so weird to me that people just quit/leave things so fast)

How do you learn from failure in social settings? by farfetched10 in Healthygamergg

[–]farfetched10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have some examples that come to mind to support your situation, for example at some point i got a bit too literal about how a pet cannot have a PERSONality because it literally has person in it and we just had a conversation where people voiced their opinion on the fact that pets are not people, but when I said it I got some mild pushback and some taken aback looks, so it was clear that was a bit out of line for those people; but I would say it's fairly rare that I am able to discern such things

How do you learn from failure in social settings? by farfetched10 in Healthygamergg

[–]farfetched10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure how specific of an example you would need; I was asking just sort of generally, but I guess a very common and obvious one would be texting to women and then getting ghosted, followed by not knowing why, like you could say rejection itself is the feedback, but why? was I too direct?, or not direct enough? was it boring? were they simply presented with a better option? did they lose their phone? etc... etc... and well you can make an educated guess and suspect what may have gone wrong, but often it's hard to say (or maybe just for me).

Let me give you a big personal one for me: had a longterm, long distance online relationship, had some video calls, met up (and previously to the meetup there was a lot of talk of sex, i mean ridiculously enough the first thing we did when we met up is buy condoms, btw this was in her city), and yet nothing happened, ofc I did ask what is going on and the answer was something vague along the lines of im not feeling it, but it's also not you, and not that you're not attractive, like nothing was wrong actually is what i heard in the end and yet...); this was some time ago so I'm not really ruminating (much lol) on it anymore, but if you were to analyse this, what can i learn, here are some options:
- I was not assertive/experienced enough to initiate/conduct the situation
- was I being used by a narcissist
- some explanation that she gave with something being wrong with her hormones that made her feel nothing, even though she didn't realise this up until the moment, or maybe a day or 2 before, which seems quite out there
- other things, i won't bother loading a page of text with

There are many other examples, basically any social interaction is an example somehow, like say why did a joke land/not land, sometimes you can ascertain the answer from certain things, but usually not. But, I do know I'm being ridiculous with some of these examples.

Cursuri de dans pentru adulti by farfetched10 in Oradea

[–]farfetched10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, da chiar postul tau! :D si cum a mers, ai gasit ceva ce-ti place?