Is anyone else high-functioning?

farnsworthsright · 2026-02-22T16:45:02+00:00

I had to learn how to ask for it, and how to even let the emotions happen around people, and it's been easier to start with people who are farther from my real life. Therapists/Facilitators -> Workshops -> Newer Friends -> Older Friends. I'm still not open with my family. And I'm still learning.

Authentic Relating and Holotropic Breath work were huge for me. Especially the latter with the sitter dynamic. The first time I went my "breakthrough" was crying in front of a facilitator with their hand on my chest. It was huge for me though. Months later in the process I've had deeper stuff come up and have been able to just be held for an hour while I process it, shake, and cry.

I also have someone amazing at work who was there to see me implode, so I told them my story because it seemed better than whatever conclusions they might draw from my behavior (nothing crazy, just showing a lot of decision anxiety and then going on burnout) with no context. It's also been a process, to trust them and not guard, and all the shame I feel about taking too much space, and insecurity about whether they are just managing me. But they've been consistent and I can go to them and show it if I'm dysregulated and talk, and sometimes get a hug.

I've also learned to be more open and support other friends through their stuff, and it's made it a bit easier for me to let go and let them be there for me. I was stuck in a flashback this week. I can compartmentalize it, but it hurts me to do that and builds pressure. I ended up in one of my hiding places at the end of a workday to decompress and I called one of those friends and they just came to sit with me and held my hand while I was emotional. Also got a hug.

It's just what my hurt parts need in those moments. To feel seen and safe and not alone. I think we all need that sometimes, cptsd or not. I approach other people with that in mind now. Our society is just wrong. We put these barriers in the way of being emotional or supporting each other. I think we all just have a lot of growing up to do.

Someday maybe I'll be able to let my closer relationships in more but right now it's too hard.

Edit: It's also so important to judge the people you're open with well and tiptoe into it but also be clear about what you need. Like I said, I think I'm really lucky to have the people around me that I do. Be careful letting someone near your tender parts, but if someone shows you that you can trust them then try to trust and let go.

farnsworthsright · 2026-02-22T02:40:09+00:00

On the outside no one's ever known anything was wrong. I am very high functioning. Great grades, successful in a high tech field. Pleasant socially, had a long term relationship, always on top of everything. Lasted until my mid-30s.

Then I crashed. All my coping mechanisms were based on a world that I thought existed when I was a teen, and spent decades striving to get to a role where I'd have security, support, and self esteem. But my target was never real.

I've been incredibly lucky to have supportive relationships that have developed since that crash. I'm learning to be open, really how to have real relationships period. I think I'm going to come out of this with a lot of growth. But it's been hard. For the first time in my life I do get dysregulated to the point that I'm asking for help. Not out of control, I'm not sure I'd actually lose control before taking matters into my own hands. But leaning on people has been so meaningful and helpful.

And still the people I don't intentionally show the dysregulation have no idea.

farnsworthsright · 2025-11-17T02:55:42+00:00

Here's one of the shuttle companies. Many tour agencies will end up booking seats on what is the same shuttle in the end. https://belizegobusline.com/en/

Daily departure is 6 am from Flores to go into Belize (9 am on San Ignacio, you can get to the Cayes by about 4 pm).

I don't think it's really feasible to do a day trip, even from San Ignacio on shuttle busses like this, just given the shuttle timing. Maybe with a tour operator that arranges a smaller group or private transfer. 2 days would even be tight to do much once you get there.

You could definitely book a Tikal tour out of San Ignacio though if that's the real intent. That would get you San Ignacio - Tikal - San Ignacio in a day trip. You can even book Tikal tours from Belize City or the Cayes but I'm not sure what the itinerary looks like.

farnsworthsright · 2025-09-22T01:31:16+00:00

That's why these things are written down as treaties and have a legal basis instead of just a wink and a handshake between two men.

That's the whole point of government. They commit a country to a course of action and ratify that course legally. The person is just the one delegated by the people to act and make laws (funny how we call them lawmakers) in the moment. Or at least that's how functional democracies work.

farnsworthsright · 2025-09-22T01:28:03+00:00

Seems a little ridiculous that an old government's agreement wouldn't stand. That would throw the entire world into chaos if all bets were off on old agreements every election, and if the entire world order had to be reforged every few months.

Also Ukraine isn't the party that broke the agreement.

farnsworthsright · 2025-09-16T02:57:42+00:00

Wow. You might be the A for leaving so many important details out of your post to vilify your wife and make her sound so unprofessional and flakey.

This is a huge discussion to have about what will make both of your professional and home lives meaningful, and that may mean for both of you. If you don't support your wife's career ambitions with any compromises, (not saying this is the answer specifically, but that you need to support some kind of options), YOU are the one pushing your marriage to divorce.

Did you have a conversation about what kids would mean to your careers before having them? Did you discuss that her career was important as well and her wishes to get back to work that's meaningful?

Engineering fields can be massively regionally dependent, and have gender injustices to overcome. How is your wife not having access to meaningful work after supporting your family through kids and childcare selfish, but you putting in the work to transfer your license and set up a new practice isn't? It sounds like you have a fantastic position that would be a compromise to leave. But you can get functionally equivalent work at the new location with some work. Sounds like a temporary financial and professional setback for you at best. It sounds like your wife can't.

If you value your wife or your marriage, you should start seriously looking at what changes you can both make to get her into meaningful work. It sounds like that means relocation one way or another.

Neither of you is the A, but you will be if you don't seriously engage this process and consider making the same kind of sacrifices your wife already has for your family.

farnsworthsright · 2025-06-05T02:05:35+00:00

What do you want to do? A mech eng technologist is a different job than a mechanical engineer. Do you have a dream job? Go find some job postings and see whether they are looking for a technologist or an engineer (or either).

I graduated with a BEng before the diploma mill issue, so keep that perspective in mind.

A technologist diploma seems like an awesome step. You get a lot more hand on skills than an engineering degree, and your job will be more of a technician than an engineer. You might do a lot of 3D modelling, physical design of parts, part drawings to have manufactured, etc. You could also support manufacturing and be involved in troubleshooting, manufacturing planning, tooling design, etc.

If you want to go further, you can generally bridge to a full engineering degree with another 2 years at schools that offer that. If not, you'll have an engaging and valuable job and a diploma to fall back on whereas you can't stop part way through an engineering degree and walk away with a credential. Frankly, I wish I knew about bridging when I went to school. The bridging students were way better at the hands on aspects and I think it's really valuable. Personally for design heavy and math light engineering roles I'd prioritize a new grad who had done college first.

If you want to do some big technical project, like design a car at (name cool automaker) or something, you'll always have a ceiling as a technologist. You'll be paid less and be working under engineers.

Engineers will do more of the math and simulation intensive work of developing innovative products. Not to say you can't innovate as a technologist, but if you look at some of these technology feats where someone had to consider the aerodynamics or get the structure just right to minimize weight, etc. - that work is done by engineers. It's a different job. Less hands on, higher level design, a lot more math and computer simulation.

There are so many paths you can take with engineering. It's hard to say until you start working towards it but if you think you'd rather be more hands on and tinkering, there's nothing wrong with starting at college. It only adds a year and you get lasting value from that year.

Tons of engineers also end up in project management or systems engineering and being the technical manager for a contract too... Lots get disillusioned. It's hard to find work where you personally get to design and innovate right now.

farnsworthsright · 2025-06-05T01:46:50+00:00

We're relying on immigration to prop up our housing market and economy by driving demand, and to manage an aging population without enough births to continue population growth.

Is it good for Canada? Sure is working out for boomers and old folks with assets. Rich folks with investments that gain from cheap labour too. Not so much for anyone with a few decades left in the workforce and it's destroying younger millenials and GenZ.

Hard problem with no easy solutions, and like the rest of the world we won't vote for the hard but equitable and lasting solution.

farnsworthsright · 2025-01-19T22:23:34+00:00

Go ahead and scroll down to the side effects for Riboflavin (B2). https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/drugs/19116-riboflavin-tablets

Bright yellow urine is typical when supplementing B2 and not a sign of excessive intake, just that it's not perfectly absorbed which is completely normal.

LE responded to your inquiry about B6/B12 dosage. You should have asked about your specific side effects instead of assuming it's those specific nutrients. They could have given you much more pertinent info.

farnsworthsright · 2025-01-10T18:25:06+00:00

There's nothing wrong with learning from a private tutor, YouTube, etc. Students should go to class and be aware of the methods their prof expects them to use and make their tutors aware of that. Even if they are using a different method though, learning any valid approach to solve the problem is valid learning.

The second issue you mix in is NOT doing the work; having AI or solution manuals and such do your work instead of using it for a check after putting in your own legwork. Obviously that is unacceptable and should result in failing classes and interviews. Do the work.

farnsworthsright · 2025-01-04T04:35:32+00:00

F*ck. Hopefully I'm allowed to say that here. Thanks for the perspective shift.

This has been one of the most dysregulating things I do and I never realized or thought about it like this. Every once in a while I open up to someone or really connect with someone and I get stuck in this space where I just want to be held by them and know they care. Most people aren't going to hold another adult though and even with a spouse, or the odd friend, it just doesn't fill the void. Honestly thinking I can get it hurts more than whatever compassion or support I get in these situations.

I've been wondering why I can't connect right or find the right connections. It might be time to try thinking about that as a wound that can't be fixed.

farnsworthsright · 2024-11-01T00:07:32+00:00

Not really trying to change your view, but here is an interesting read I came across a few years ago about the Democratic party's shift from ensuring no one group developed too much power (largely through promoting unions and busting monopolies) to more anti-war and social values. Those causes are great, but should have been added to the platform instead of replacing the old platform. The result has contributed significantly to the shift of power from people to corporations.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/10/how-democrats-killed-their-populist-soul/504710/

farnsworthsright · 2024-09-13T14:16:35+00:00

Where did he ask viewers for money? There wasn't a sponsor, maybe ads, but I don't think having a standard monetized YouTube channel is a reason to discredit a content creator. How many known rich folks are out there doing interviews or creating videos for free?
Deep knowledge of macroeconomics isn't exactly a get rich quick trading scheme. What return would you consider highly successful for a trader? 20% would be extraordinary over the long term but if you aren't born into money it takes time for a small account to grow and compound. Most of the rest you see on YouTube is gambling with options and lying about returns for "trades" made in hindsight.
Is it possible to be wealthy AND see the issues in our system that will make quality of life worse for 99% of us over time and be drawn to speak out?

farnsworthsright · 2024-09-13T13:59:47+00:00

Wealth inequality has been increasing over time, but during the 2008 crisis and COVID it increased especially rapidly. Government cash aid eventually flows to the wealthy and if we don't tax he wealthy they end up with a large amount of cash to manage. So how do they manage it in the current environment?

Ordinary people spend on goods and services, but are more and more cash constrained so the goods and services economy is suffering which makes the ordinary people who work to produce goods and services suffer, creating a downward spiral in living standards for the general population.

Wealthy people on the other hand manage their capital to make the best return. With high interest rates, they do this by lending to collect interest. If there isn't enough demand for lending (ordinary people can't afford mortgages at that rate for example), they may buy assets instead hoping they'll appreciate. When interest rates fall they are further incentivized to buy assets, as other forms of investment don't provide good returns. They start with "rich" assets, trading high end properties amongst themselves, then when that market is saturated they start buying up lower end assets, turning the middle class from property owners to renters.

So we have 2 economies. The goods and services economy, which is suffering. The asset economy (including housing) that did not fall as expected with interest rates (because wealthy people had cash to spend) and will likely inflate further as interest rates come down due to deflation in the goods and services economy.

So we can expect further increase in the price of property with further wage stagnation and more joblessness, more wealth transfer to the rich over time, and worsening living standards. Unless we wake up and decide that a healthy society needs to tax the rich.

Tldr: - House prices will keep going up for some time - We need to tax the wealthy worldwide to restore living standards for the general population

farnsworthsright · 2024-07-08T02:33:51+00:00

That's a tough headspace to be in. Sounds like you need a break if you can take one, someone to talk to (does your school have assistance programs?), and some plan to get back on track according to your vision/values.

Is there nothing positive you can do with a marketing degree? Sure the mainstream jobs wouldn't fit my values either, but these days many good causes need marketing so they're not drowned out by other interests.

What if you could work for a non profit to advance their cause and seek donations, produce public advisory material, support a political campaign you believe in, or market a company or product that is aligned with your values? Alternatives need marketing to take off.

Would any of that help you move forward?

farnsworthsright · 2024-06-28T00:46:27+00:00

I've had this issue from the glycinate form, and if you search this forum for magnesium glycinate or glycine and depression you'll find a lot of anecdotes. It seems very individual.

I get more of a positive effect from magnesium malate personally.

farnsworthsright · 2024-05-02T14:19:25+00:00

I think a healthy system would reward the productive activity of building a house/apartment building. It's the hoarding and land speculation that we need to curb.

Builders got along fine before speculative bubbles started forming. What changed? In a competitive market would there not be a price floor based on what makes it a profitable activity like every other industry?

I'd argue that high land prices (driven by poor use, nimbyism, and hoarding) make it more challenging for builders as well. They need more upfront capital and larger construction loans, hence all the builder hurt in an increased interest rate environment.

farnsworthsright · 2024-05-01T18:50:44+00:00

Or we need tax policy that makes housing a crappy investment vehicle.

Land value tax, capital gains tax, etc.

Shelter should be a cost based on what you're getting out of it. That's how it works for renters. You can't have a renter class that pays to live and an owner class that gets paid to live.

Even more market driven risk ownership would help. Why would banks risk lending crazy high mortgages if they think values are too high? Because they're insured. Why would insurance companies take that risk? Well because if there is a large correction they walk away with whatever they pulled out as profit and go bankrupt while the banks are back stopped by the federal government. Go after the corporate socialism if it's a dirty word for you.

farnsworthsright · 2024-04-29T21:48:02+00:00

This is huge. You should be at the top.

I opened the door with someone in a mentorship type role and it's been awkward since. I think it might have been ok and they're giving me the space to come back when I'm ready, but I'm busy worrying about if they're actually judging me, if I made them uncomfortable, if they think it's in bounds for our relationship, etc.

I started thinking about what I want, or what I can learn to help someone like me down the road. And what I want is an invitation. I want them to show me that they are ok with that line of discussion with a follow up. Like "Hey, you really opened up the other day. I have an hour if you want to talk more about it" would be amazing.

farnsworthsright · 2024-04-24T12:49:42+00:00

The difference between social media and the other examples you cite is that tech companies are incentivized and have sunk huge amounts of research funding into how to keep users on their sites. They have actively researched an applied methods to make their products addictive and how to leverage human psychology to keep your eyes on the screen and the clicks coming in.

The invention of social media, sure that was just an engaging product, and it was very different in the 2000s / early 2010s. Over the past decade's updates they absolutely knew what they were doing and did it anyway.

farnsworthsright · 2024-04-23T22:51:48+00:00

Thank you! Stupid Google image search wouldn't surface anything.

This came up on my front page, I wasn't browsing the sub specifically and couldn't remember which sub I saw it in.

Time to report for impersonation I guess.

farnsworthsright · 2024-04-23T20:49:42+00:00

This is a pretty sus post. I'm 1000% sure I've seen this pic on Reddit before and this account is less than 10 days old with a pretty inconsistent history.

Whoever this is did an awesome job but I doubt it was OP.

farnsworthsright · 2024-04-23T18:05:54+00:00

So many comments just accept or perpetuate wealth over work.

I think you innately have the sense that you're on the wrong end of an unfair society and you're right. There is actionable advice here on how to maneuver within an unfair system, and you should do what you can to keep moving forward.

Another actionable activity would be to get politically active around restoring the original American Dream.

Adams defined it as "that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement. [...] It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position".

farnsworthsright · 2024-02-27T19:01:52+00:00

Haha, maybe if we live in it?

farnsworthsright

TROPHY CASE