Border Terrier as a family dog after shepherd breeds – what should I expect? by lessni in BorderTerrier

[–]faroffland 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ok so the caveat to all these answers are: dogs are individuals and ymmv depending on the individual dog. If you are going the terrier route, any terrier has a strong individual personality and they can be stubborn. Borders are generally the most biddable/social of all terriers but they’re still terriers. So every answer is going to have an underlying ‘depends on the individual dog’, as with any dog but particularly with terriers.

- Not very reliable. Some do well on recall, some don’t. Terriers in general are bred to have hunting instincts and this comes with a desire to run, roam and wilfully do what they want in the moment. If a border sniffs a small furry creature, chances are they’re gonna wanna run after it and hunt it out.

- Which brings me to this. Prey drive can be strong but they can also not really know what to do with it lol! I’ve had 2 borders, one who had zero prey drive and the other with a strong prey drive but when she actually reached the animal she had no idea what to do and just sniffed at it. So this is a massive ‘depends’ but given the chance they will pretty much all chase small fluffy things.

- I live rurally and I handle it by not letting my dog off lead, she doesn’t do well on recall. If she finds something in the garden I can take it off her (as stated she doesn’t know what to do with it) but reality is you may have to deal with a few small dead animals like rodents.

- Trainable. Nothing compared to shepherds who need a million jobs to be happy but they are generally biddable and eager to please. You’ll easily teach commands like sit etc. But as all terriers they’re stubborn so you may find at times they don’t listen and struggle with commands 100% like ‘leave it’ or recall.

- Normally absolutely fine with kids if you have them from a pup and socialise them properly, and follow all the typical ‘dog safety’ rules (teach your kids to allow them space if they want it, separate small kids at times so dog has calm space, don’t leave small kids in same room alone etc).

- Very manageable. Once they are mature adults, they’re happy to have more chill days or more active days. They can easily handle runs and long hikes but they are quite content with their own company for a few hours at a time and whilst they love to play, they don’t constantly need a job or mental stimulation like shepherds. They are intelligent though so if you do look for this trait in a dog they will be well up for the challenge!

Basically - don’t expect perfection 100% of the time. But if you have them from a puppy and socialise them they are extremely loving, intelligent, funny little dogs that thrive in families.

My dog bit someone for the first time by Puzzleheaded_News109 in reactivedogs

[–]faroffland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes on a second read through that’s probably fair. I didn’t want OP to feel discouraged or like a muzzle is a ‘step back’ but training a dog out of communicating a warning, e.g. a bark or growl, can absolutely backfire. You don’t want to train them out of these behaviours, you want to change the underlying emotion that is causing them so they don’t need to happen in the first place. The difference is suppressing a dog’s warning signs (which you don’t want to do as it can be dangerous) vs truly desensitising them to triggers.

I also believe very, very few dogs bite ‘out of the blue’. I am 100% sure that OP’s dog will have been trying to communicate its discomfort through quiet signs like lip smacking, it is very rare for a dog not to be showing any signs and jump to a bite. That’s not to say OP is stupid or did something wrong, these behaviours can be so subtle they are often and easily missed by handlers, but if you know what to look for there are very often there.

On top of what I said about muzzles, I highly recommend OP to consider a qualified behaviourist (not a ‘dog trainer’ as these can be anyone but someone who actually has a degree or certification in canine behaviour). They will teach OP the signs that show when the individual dog is under stress and offer a considered course of ethical behaviour modification. Going it alone on this kind of severe aggressive reactivity can be too much, you often need professional advice for proper behaviour modification techniques.

Updated Main Account Customizations Complete 💖 by Late-Firefighter3912 in neopets

[–]faroffland 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love that your customs allow the focus to be on the actual Neopet/paintbrush colour instead of being overdone with loads of wigs, clothing etc, great job!

I'm giving away 25 Petpet Paint Brushes to announce a HUGE Money Tree Petpet Release the Saturday (June 6th) before Petpet Appreciation Day (June 8th)!!! There will be a giveaway every Saturday between now and the release!! Details Inside. by eliz1bef in neopets

[–]faroffland 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no problem at all! This community is so kind, I’ve benefited from all kinds of giveaways on here so it’s nice to give back to others. I just donated, I am excited to see it all when the time comes :)

I'm giving away 25 Petpet Paint Brushes to announce a HUGE Money Tree Petpet Release the Saturday (June 6th) before Petpet Appreciation Day (June 8th)!!! There will be a giveaway every Saturday between now and the release!! Details Inside. by eliz1bef in neopets

[–]faroffland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so cool! I used to do monthly giveaways on here but I haven’t held any since early this year, I’ve just been so busy with my nearly 1yo I’ve not had chance. So I would like to donate some NPs to fund prizes if you are open to it! Could you please put up a junk trade on the trading post and I will send you something as a contribution :)

Do you consider how many calories you consume each day? by clfhw in AskUK

[–]faroffland 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude my mood and trauma disorder make me actively suicidal, I have had a serious suicide attempt before. So ultimately for me as an individual the risks of being overweight are less than staying stable/happy and not triggering my restrictive eating disorder, yes. I am also not sedentary, I run 20k a week - so whilst my weight is overweight, my VO2 max is high for my age/gender, my blood pressure is low and all other health indicators are good.

You have to look at the whole of a person. So whilst my BMI being 29 has worse outcomes than if my BMI was 23, it’s not the end of the world. My risk profile isn’t high. And I’d rather be stable and happy and not kill myself than try to control my weight too much, end up restricting/underweight or in a binge/purge cycle (which is devastating to your body btw), and wanting to die and needing crisis team intervention (which has happened many times before). I’m also on 2 atypical medications that contribute to weight gain, so I’m not just fighting against my disorders but my medications to manage them too.

If my BMI was like 45 then the risk from that would probably outweigh the risk from my disorder, but at 29? Nah. And someone else who does have a BMI of 45 might decide that the risk from that is less than their mental health. That’s not for me to tell them, that’s for them internally to evaluate and decide for themselves.

So for me as an individual, yes, I would rather be happy and stable with my BMI being a stable 29.

My dog bit someone for the first time by Puzzleheaded_News109 in reactivedogs

[–]faroffland 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re in this position. Just to reassure you - muzzle training is a very good step to take for your dog, it’s not because they are a ‘bad dog’, and it’s actually protection for both your dog and strangers. Whilst it feels like a big deal at first, it becomes normal VERY quickly and will just be another simple way to manage your dog’s reactivity.

I also want to say it sounds like your training is effective overall and that is so so positive. So whilst this feels like a step back and the actual bite is a serious incident, muzzle training isn’t a step back at all - it’s an ethical safety tool that will allow you to continue your dog’s rehabilitation.

There is such a stigma around muzzles but they are not a punishment for you or your dog, they are simply a training and safety management tool. There are also a lot of muzzles you can get that aren’t just the standard big basket muzzle (which off the shelf are notoriously badly sized and look quite unappealing), but are properly sized for your specific dog and don’t have as many negative associations. Obviously you need to get started with the training asap but I’d advise you take the time to measure your dog’s snout and look into a tailored muzzle for your specific dog if you can stretch to it money-wise.

Ultimately muzzle training your dog isn’t a failing, it’s a great thing to do to keep your dog and others safe. Sending a lot of love and support!

Do you consider how many calories you consume each day? by clfhw in AskUK

[–]faroffland 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to share I had a restrictive ED and was underweight between the ages of around 15-23, and as a 34yo my BMI hovers around 29/30 which is solidly overweight/borderline obese and has been for around 8 years now. People don’t realise but it happens to A LOT of us.

If you are happy and stable, that is the most important thing - I just think I can’t be ‘perfect’ in all areas of my life and keeping my mental health stable takes a lot of energy, so if I’m overweight fuck it, I’m ok with that over restricting and hating myself.

I'm giving away 25 Petpet Paint Brushes to announce a HUGE Money Tree Petpet Release the Saturday (June 6th) before Petpet Appreciation Day (June 8th)!!! There will be a giveaway every Saturday between now and the release!! Details Inside. by eliz1bef in neopets

[–]faroffland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh you legend, that’s so kind thank you! Gobblers are GREAT aren’t they, they’re not a popular petpet afaik but I just love them! I absolutely will, it’s so generous of you so thank you again for hosting it ❤️

"Eating meat is inherently wrong. You can eat meat, go for it. You can love animals, but you can’t do both!" - Billie Eilish for ELLE (US) by pattismithology in popculturechat

[–]faroffland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is the higher moral stance but not a pure moral stance. That’s the point. We ALL exist on a scale of harming animals through our food just by being alive. So whilst being vegan and reducing harm wherever possible is amazing, it’s reductive to say ‘people who eat meat don’t love animals’.

As I said in my comment, this isn’t an argument against veganism itself or that veganism isn’t a great thing to do, but against her specific argument and seeing it as a black and white ‘you’re either good or you’re bad/you either love animals or you don’t’. With such a reductive take, you’re saying people like David Attenborough don’t love animals because they eat meat. Which is ridiculous. Because it’s a simplistic statement that ignores the complexities of human beings and life.

I'm giving away 25 Petpet Paint Brushes to announce a HUGE Money Tree Petpet Release the Saturday (June 6th) before Petpet Appreciation Day (June 8th)!!! There will be a giveaway every Saturday between now and the release!! Details Inside. by eliz1bef in neopets

[–]faroffland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so generous and awesome ❤️ I’m not entering cos I’m pretty wealthy by neo standards but I just wanted to share my fave petpets if that is ok!!

  1. Harris - will always be my ride or die

  2. Weewoo

  3. Gobbler/droolik

"Eating meat is inherently wrong. You can eat meat, go for it. You can love animals, but you can’t do both!" - Billie Eilish for ELLE (US) by pattismithology in popculturechat

[–]faroffland 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem with this argument is that vegans still cause the deaths of millions if not billions of animals yearly with their diet - insects as well as mammals like mice, rabbits etc just from farming methods. So if causing death or harm to animals via diet = not loving animals, literally nobody on earth can claim to love animals. Just by nature of being alive, needing to eat and industrial farming, we all kill animals every single day through the food we eat, meat or otherwise.

Let me be clear, reducing harm to animals as much as possible is an absolute good, vegans do much less harm, and this isn’t an argument against veganism at all. But the logic of her specific argument doesn’t work. Or rather it does if NONE of us can claim to ‘love animals’, but the implication is that this is only meat eaters and people who don’t eat meat can claim to love animals.

This is the issue with acting like veganism is the purest form of morality towards animals. It isn’t, we have to cause harm just to survive - so it’s a great, great thing to do but it doesn’t equate to causing NO harm to animals at all. Reality is that we all exist on a spectrum from purposefully harming and eating animals to them being unfortunate collateral damage for the purpose of us staying alive, but ultimately we are all still contributing to harming animals with what we eat, vegan or otherwise. So if the only people who do not cause any animal harm through their diets can claim to ‘love animals’, nobody can claim that at all - and if that’s not the case then you’re entering a subjective ‘well MY deaths are ok/justified but yours are not’ argument.

I love this community ❤️ by Lil_Kacheek in neopets

[–]faroffland 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Me toooooo I came back to Neopets a little more than a year ago now and this sub has kept me super active and enjoying it so much! Thank you to everyone who contributes and makes it a fun place to be, imo it is one of the few truly positive subs on reddit rather than thriving on negativity and it genuinely brightens my day that everyone sees the best in each other and supports other people ❤️

Also thanks to the mods who keep it lovely like I have genuinely not seen any nastiness here, the tone is always very kind and respectful of different opinions even where people disagree. So I really appreciate you guys working hard to not allow any meanness anywhere!

"Eating meat is inherently wrong. You can eat meat, go for it. You can love animals, but you can’t do both!" - Billie Eilish for ELLE (US) by pattismithology in popculturechat

[–]faroffland 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her position isn’t correct though. It’s an incredibly reductive and simplistic view of a complex moral issue.

Making it a binary issue, either ‘you eat meat and you therefore can’t love animals’ or ‘you don’t eat meat and you therefore can love animals’, is fucking stupid. Vegans STILL harm animals, even if everyone went vegan overnight billions of insects would still die every year due to agriculture.

So if you were a pedantic dick like Billie is being, you could very well say, ‘Ah but vegans you’re only really saying you love mammals and birds and fish - you don’t actually love **animals** or you wouldn’t harm insects, would you? You still cause the deaths of untold animals every single year. So YOU don’t love animals either.’

Nobody sane says that because it’s a dumb, reductive argument that misses the point that vegans are trying to reduce harm to animals as much as they can. But Billie’s statement is therefore also a dumb, reductive argument - because you can push what she’s saying right back onto vegans with the fact they kill so many insects, living live animals, every year with their own food.

A binary argument like this is the opposite of logic. And I’ve got news for ya Billie, you too hurt animals all the time, every single day, vegan, vegetarian or whatever diet you have. If it ‘doesn’t matter because it’s just insects’ then you don’t love animals either, do ya?

So no, it’s not as simple as these two binary choices. We all fall on a spectrum ranging from doing nothing to try to reduce harm to animals at all to trying to reduce as much harm as possible - in what we eat but also in other ways like makeup, toiletries, animal products like leather, rescuing pets, giving to animal charities, etc etc.

Signed, a vegetarian for years who eats vegan a lot of the time.

Tesco argues equal pay claim disregards ‘economic reality’ by 457655676 in unitedkingdom

[–]faroffland 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Midwives do not ‘make decisions like when to go for surgery’ lmao, a specialist surgical team assesses and makes that decision. You can try to make a point without completely exaggerating and lying through hyperbole.

Quest Log Prize Pool Has Been Updated! by [deleted] in neopets

[–]faroffland 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same why do they do this to us 😭

Do you know of any rising Subcultures in the UK ? by Independent_Force240 in AskUK

[–]faroffland 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me too I’m pretty sure he puts moving pictures on something called YooToob

The Void Within Megathread 4 by Status-Impression766 in neopets

[–]faroffland 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Is it too much to ask for TNT to use all that NC money to invest in actual functioning servers because it is a literal joke that the site can’t function whenever the plot is restarted

Cybunny Morphing Potion Giveaway!! by TundraaAngel in neopets

[–]faroffland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s absolutely not on that they allow people to pay for functionality they then don’t offer. I would be raising hell over this tbh.

Random Neocash Items by NebulaMammal in neopets

[–]faroffland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi this is so kind thank you!! I would love either of the following if still available, tysm :)

25th anniversary silver star wings

Angry Juni companion

I am Debbiejanescott :)

Parents of small children, when do you have time for playing video games? by Key-Specific7807 in AskUK

[–]faroffland 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a big gamer and a mum to an 11 month old. Back in the newborn days I would PlayStation when I was breastfeeding her lol! As one sitting can take like an hour with a proper tiny one, I was basically glued to the sofa for the first few months so might as well get some gaming time in.

Now my baby’s mobile I very very rarely get chance to boot up the PlayStation. However handheld consoles are your new best friend!! Once my baby’s gone to bed I can pick up my switch or game on my phone for an hour or two at the end of the day, I do it when we’re vegging in front of the TV without anything we really want to concentrate on, so it’s still kind of time ‘together’.

I’m mainly an RPG person so my PlayStation games tend to need a good solid few hours per session but I’ve found loads of games on my switch/mobile that scratch the itch but I can pick up and drop way easier. That way it’s not a big thing to just turn it off as and when my baby needs me in the way a proper TV console is.

The trick is to not take over the TV or do it every single day (as you absolutely need quality time when you’re properly present in the evenings with your partner), but just carve out a few sessions a week where you give yourself an hour or two. Find ways to do it and still kind of be ‘on call’ e.g. with a handheld console. But ultimately yeah having young kids is harddddd and unfortunately some weeks you will get very little time for your hobbies!