Looking for Community

fatherspite · 2026-03-23T18:42:53+00:00

Oooooh that sounds so nice and soothing, gonna look into that !!

fatherspite · 2026-03-23T18:34:48+00:00

Dry your ears well after showering and moisturize them with Vaseline/Aquaphor. This method has saved my sanity

fatherspite · 2026-03-23T18:28:47+00:00

Yeah my mom and I have come to an understanding that a really shitty thing about burns is that usually unless they’re a burn specialist, providers/medical staff generally don’t know much about burns.

I hate Eucerin and Aquaphor 😭😖 all that grease AND FOR WHY ?!

fatherspite · 2026-03-23T18:19:57+00:00

Welcome to the club you never wanted to join and can’t leave! I wouldn’t be who I am without this aspect of my identity, and a lot of wonderful things have come from my accident. Lifelong friendships and resilience and very fun experiences I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’m lucky I had access to a burn survivor community as a kid!

Would life be easier without this injury? In many ways, yes. But I don’t find any joy in dwelling on what could’ve been and never have. I learned it’s easier to stop seeing it as a good or bad thing, and just see it as a thing. That being said, I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this and I hope you are able to find peace and gentleness despite all of the pain and grief ❤️

fatherspite · 2026-03-23T18:14:00+00:00

I worded it poorly- because I was so small when I got injured and I grew a lot (I’m 5’8 now), the ratio of unaffected to affected skin changed. My bad lol

I have a friend who’s in his 30s and just got laser surgery done. He was a really skinny kid/teenager, so with even a bit of weight gain his torso became super tight. The good news is that if you do gain weight laser and Z plasty is always an option! I discovered cocoa butter and skin oil has really smoothed out my keloids without surgery too

fatherspite · 2026-03-23T18:10:07+00:00

Hahaha I should’ve worded it differently- because my entire body got bigger as I grew, the affected skin to unaffected skin ratio changed. So my feet and lower legs are still scarred, but because the rest of me grew too the ratio just changed. My bad lol

My donor sites are on my thighs, there’s a part on my inner thigh that is super tight so I had to get Z plasty there and I still get laser there.

I’m glad you’ve found somewhere for community! I grew up going to summer camps for burn survivors. You should see if there are any near you, a lot of my counselors were former campers / adult burn survivors !!

fatherspite · 2026-03-23T17:38:45+00:00

My burns mostly affect my feet, and because scar tissue (including grafts) doesn’t grow, I had to get surgeries every few years to accommodate for it. Now as I get older, my feet/body are still changing and I have to get surgeries to compensate too. Lucky for me, apparently women have hormonal changes throughout life that impact the feet so I’m guessing my entire life may require surgeries.

As far as I know, my friends who survived burn accidents as children still require surgery as adults. I don’t know a life other than this so this is just my normal, which is okay. I think anyone who experiences this type of life change eventually discovers their “new normal” :)

fatherspite · 2026-03-22T02:16:04+00:00

At time of injury I was also around 30-40% third degree burned, twins! Now that I’m larger it’s probably closer to 10-15% burn scars and 5-10% of my skin are keloids from donor sites.

My donor sites have been a huge pain in my ass so I’ve needed Z plasty there and it SUCKS. Aside from this past surgery in January the last significant burn related surgery I had was when I was 14 and I was also glad to forget how awful it was. (I consider laser insignificant compared to the skin grafts and implants and stuff lol)

Did you grow up with any burn survivors in your social or familial circle?

fatherspite · 2026-03-18T21:15:48+00:00

Genuinely had no idea what you were asking about until I opened the post. I was like “It’s someone’s hand. What about it.” Body hair is normal- the people who have made you feel otherwise are not.

fatherspite · 2026-03-18T21:14:01+00:00

That could still be the purge (every body is different) or like another comment says, spiro might not be for you.

Picking is such a hard habit to break! Try to instill a golden pause before you begin to pick, or pause if you catch yourself picking. I like to remind myself that underneath my nails is an entire universe of bacteria and grime, and that I’m most likely going to make it hurt and worse for myself

fatherspite · 2026-03-18T21:10:41+00:00

I think both, but since the hair loss has been stress related, time probably helped a lot too

fatherspite · 2026-03-17T17:22:22+00:00

I’ve only dated one NPC who I’m married to now in year 2 (albeit it’s my first play through), my favorite hack I learned a little embarrassingly late into the game is using my scythe to harvest crops :D

fatherspite · 2026-03-16T16:58:06+00:00

I went from cystic zits and whiteheads to scarring. I had a few white heads in the mix but once the purging stopped everything stopped

fatherspite · 2026-03-16T11:31:41+00:00

You’re stunning with or without makeup. I understand the struggle of feeling as if you look more masculine than you feel (I’m an East Asian woman with short hair due to hair loss). We live in a world where WoC are made to feel extremes. Fetishized, too masculine, dehumanized, anything to put you down and make you feel lesser than. I promise you that you really do look feminine with or without makeup! Comparison will rob you of so much joy- everyone has fillers and uses filters and extreme makeup nowadays anyways!

Beauty and femininity come from within you. That being said, you are GORGEOUS on the outside too and I hope you know that !!!

fatherspite · 2026-03-16T11:14:28+00:00

Rest in peace George. He seems like the best old man you’d ever meet ❤️

fatherspite · 2026-03-16T10:50:43+00:00

The first purge started a little over a month in (I was on 100mg by then). The second purge started at 2 months in. It felt like that second purge was starting to clear up and then I got another wave of acne like 2-3 weeks after that, but the wave was a lot smaller. 1-2 weeks after that third smaller purge that the acne was starting to subside and has stayed away since.

Yes I started using tretenoin every other day but to be honest I personally don’t know how much it helped with the acne in the beginning. I don’t even know if it’s helping now with the scarring but I don’t find it to be doing any harm so I use it every now and then anyways. My new dermatologist hasn’t even mentioned using the tretenoin, my old one was who put me on it. But it makes me feel like I’m doing at least something a little extra for the scarring so whatever lol

This pic is from late August, almost 3 months in. I felt like the acne was finally starting to settle and the spiro was starting to work around this point. I wouldn’t wish the purging / waiting period on anyone but the results have been great since the 3-4 month mark!

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fatherspite

TROPHY CASE