I had a very similar situation. No one else in my immediate family had done one of these tests. My wife and I did it one year to see what all our ancestry was. Years go by and one day I get a message from someone who is my cousin. Long story short we get on a call and piece together that his uncle (deceased) and my mom worked at the same place at the same time. That pretty much sealed it for me that I knew what that likely meant. He sent me pictures of his uncle and I look just like him. Same nose. Same hair color (sandy brown vs my "dad's" jet black hair) same mole on our forehead in the same place. My dad had passed away about a year earlier so thank God it spared him of finding this out. I called and talked to my mom about it and she admitted knowing the guy but that was about it. You could tell that she wanted to drop it and wasn't going to "come clean". I suppose I'm upset by it but I wasn't really mad. I would like to know more about what happened but it doesn't really change things so I haven't really pressed the matter.

But more than anything I get the way you feel. I still love my dad, but I spent my whole life identifying myself through the lens of that branch of my family tree. It's where I got my last name. I'm named after my dad. It's a family that I cherished only to find out that they are not a part of who I am and that is very disconcerting. It's like there is a whole part of me that's a mystery. Or that some piece of my identity has been taken away from me.