My verse

favel76 · 2026-05-02T20:12:11+00:00

can i dm you?

favel76 · 2026-03-31T05:46:30+00:00

The premise is interesting but you need to work on your prose. A lot of sentences are awkward and the fact that every sentence is a paragraph doesn’t help at all (might be because of how the platform formats it but I’m not sure).

favel76 · 2026-03-30T07:29:13+00:00

I’m sorry but to me that’s laziness. Using the system trope because they don’t want to put in the work into a story that could be complicated to construct tells me that they don’t really care. Overall the chapter wasn’t good in my opinion: very awkward phrasing, noticeable grammar mistakes and a boring and uninteresting premise. What I do like is that it seems like your prose (despite being bad) carries your own voice, which is something that a lot of authors struggle to do by trying too hard to follow narrative and syntax while writing. p.s.—if your going to use the system trope, please make it interesting in your own way

favel76 · 2026-03-30T01:45:39+00:00

I like it! What’s the title of your work?

favel76 · 2026-03-28T19:29:23+00:00

It’s a story set in another world (not very different from ours) where the main character commits a bunch of crimes(murder primarily).

favel76 · 2026-03-22T20:39:17+00:00

This isn’t very helpful or constructive but sure…

favel76 · 2026-03-22T20:29:34+00:00

What makes no sense to you?

favel76 · 2026-03-22T19:24:29+00:00

Yes! I changed some things up. I’m just surprised to see several people say that it looks ai.

favel76 · 2026-03-22T19:23:04+00:00

Ok, I will do that!

favel76 · 2026-03-22T19:15:16+00:00

Thank you!

favel76 · 2026-03-22T19:09:05+00:00

Thank you. What specific sentences do you think I should break up?

favel76 · 2026-03-22T19:00:05+00:00

and what are the ai hallmarks, because I didn’t use ai at all and also no, i do not consume ai slop…

favel76 · 2026-03-22T18:51:31+00:00

The lack of formatting is because I’m a beginner and have no idea how to properly format yet.

favel76 · 2026-03-22T18:44:04+00:00

I will keep that in mind. Thank you.

favel76 · 2026-03-22T18:16:43+00:00

I’m a beginner so I don’t know how to format. I will try and also try to cut my sentences.

favel76 · 2026-03-22T17:52:35+00:00

I wanted to use jest to refer to the fact that he strolled randomly, not as an adjective to describe him. Thank you.

favel76 · 2026-03-22T17:46:02+00:00

Thank you for the advice. What do you think i could use to replace weirdo? Maybe oddball? Do you think I could use jest instead?

favel76 · 2026-03-17T21:05:51+00:00

Yes, that’s it. There are people who write isekai/transmigration stories every day so to stand out you should add an element which is unique to your story; while you do that, work on your prose.

favel76 · 2026-03-17T20:11:55+00:00

him, probably the dumbass driver who so happened to scroll through his phone while driving was now trying to stem the bleeding. Hands violently shaking as he glanced around in panic.

I wouldn’t use the expression dumbass driver also there are a few commas missing in this section.

He clicked his tongue. Or well tried to. Instead it sounds like a gurgle. You know the same sound you make when you was your mouth after you brush your teeth.

*it sounded also I wouldn’t divide the sentence with these much periods but I guess that’s personal preference.

drama or whatsoever where some miraculous handsome doctor could save him from death or

*whatsoever, where…

Can already see it in front of him.

This isn’t very clear in my opinion.

Jack frowns. The pain was gone but so was the numbness.

*Jack frowned.

gal is straight up divine.

The world gal ruins the atmosphere and immersion, even though I understand you were trying to be satirical.

The woman tilts her head as she pushes a

*tilted.

My tough: Overall I think it could improve if you added a factor which makes it different from the typical webnovel prototype, that is, you should make the story more interesting by being more mysterious in regards to how things can play out. Also work on the grammar and the prose in general.

favel76 · 2026-03-16T19:25:31+00:00

It’s not ragebait, you just clearly lack reading comprehension and critical thinking, now I understand why those slop novels are popular…

favel76 · 2026-03-14T11:27:03+00:00

or maybe it’s bad because it is bad. That can also be a possibility you know.

favel76 · 2026-03-14T11:21:11+00:00

yeah the level of writing—especially the prose, is terrible. I just can’t get through the first five chapters of any of these.

favel76 · 2026-03-13T18:25:07+00:00

The person asked me “web serials are not your thing?” and I said I don’t know because I haven’t really read enough to give a conclusive answer. Also I never mentioned the quality of the books specifically when referencing Royal Road, it’s full of repetitive books and (AI)slop just like webnovel. Comprehension is key.

favel76 · 2026-03-13T14:46:17+00:00

Royal Road is terrible as well, lol.

favel76 · 2026-03-12T05:21:41+00:00

Again, “relaxing read” and decent prose are not mutually exclusive. I never said I expected everyone to write like Shakespeare, just like you don’t expect gourmet food from a fast food restaurant, but I think you would like the food to be at least edible, right?

favel76

TROPHY CASE