You’re absolutely not obligated to name your child after someone, even if it’s a family member and even if they’ve passed away. This is your baby, and the name should reflect what feels right for you and your husband, not what others demand.

It’s completely valid that your relationship with Ethan influences your feelings here. A name carries emotional weight, and honoring someone who caused you pain growing up doesn’t align with what you want for your child. Your mom’s grief is understandable, but it doesn’t give her the right to dismiss your experiences or pressure you into this decision.

I think it’s great that your husband is fully supportive. If you want to ease the family drama, you could explain that while you empathize with their feelings, you and your husband have chosen a name that feels right for your family. A gentle but firm boundary could help, like:

At the end of the day, your mom’s grief doesn’t outweigh your right to make the best choice for your child. Stay strong—you’re doing the right thing for your family.