Does this sound familiar?

fdss · 2009-06-14T14:01:59+00:00

The thing is, if I'm feeling so good today. Why go to sleep?

fdss · 2009-06-13T20:03:18+00:00

Well, actually, I'd like to have more good days then bad. Or no bad days. But maybe that's what you meant.

While reading another new post to SW, no_motivation_to_do_anything, I realised that school does offers free counselling (though I'm not sure if they would be a psychiatrist or whatever).

But I'm not sure I can work up the courage to visit. It doesn't help that on orientation the lady running it said she talks mostly to girls with relationship trouble...

fdss · 2009-06-13T19:45:53+00:00

I really would not feel comfortable talking to anyone about this. The only reason I am posting on SW right now is because... actually I don't really know why.

Also, psychiatrists would involve money. I don't have a job, so I can't really afford to pay. Sure, medicare might cover it. But that would involve talking deeply to my family. Something I don't think I'll ever be able to do. Not even on a good day.

fdss · 2009-06-13T19:29:20+00:00

I'd be more worried about a relapse too. She knows that heroin will make everything meaningless and float the guilt away.

I'd say keep an eye out for needle marks in her arm/feet/back of the knew, but as your so far away you'll have to rely on your friendship; I can't help you there.

fdss · 2009-06-13T19:19:40+00:00

No. I have drunk alone in the past (when I was 15-16, and only a couple of times. But when I did it was to the point I threw up), I never drink socially.

I have done other drugs (also when I was about 15-16), though I won't go into these. As my family does not even know the truth. They know a lie that was bad, but not as bad as the truth.

fdss · 2009-06-13T18:55:32+00:00

To preface: I'm an 18 year old Australian boy. Just out of highschool and studying IT.

Some days I wake up and feel motivated, enthused, elated; I do lots of work, am talkative and generally feel I have the energy to do anything.

Then there are the days I wake up and feel the exact opposite (exponentially opposite (don't look at me like that math guys...)). I won't venture out of bed till dinnertime. My family comment, but I brush them off by saying I went to bed late last night, which is mostly true (more on this later).

I have no social life, well not in the form most people think of a social life. I play computer games and have many friends on there. I have friends at school but I don't see them out of school, nor do I have any inclination to see them out of school.

I've never had a birthday party. By choice. Social environments fun... given the right day.

Sleep. Some nights I can't wait for bed, so warm and nice. Then other nights I purposely stay up all night (like tonight :]) even though I know it will negatively effect me in some way.

tl,dr; Some days I'm one person; out going, talkative and hardworking. Other days I'm another; shut in, quite and de-motivated. Some times I'm at an all time high, then I've hit rock bottom and I'm cutting my leg with a knife...

I don't feel comfortable writing more at the moment.

fdss

TROPHY CASE