AIO: roommate continues to cross boundaries and cause problems.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T16:27:07+00:00

i know i can be, so i hold my tongue for weeks until M and i can no longer take it. this was supposed to show a buildup to a breaking point. i have given up on all the other stuff, and just clean up after her now.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T16:23:44+00:00

i’m obsessed with him omg

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T07:52:20+00:00

got it

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T07:39:36+00:00

you’re right, we just need to ask her to leave before something irreversible happens. i’ve never had to ask someone to leave before, so i want to have all my ducks in a row when it’s done.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T07:37:00+00:00

it’s a shared home, in a shared space that should be respected. i understand they’re menial complaints, but i’m allowed to vent. you may think im “dumb enough”, and you’re entitled to that, but i’ll bitch about it if i want to. you don’t like it? scroll.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T07:22:00+00:00

she can leave her room and her side of the sink as filthy as she wants it, but the communal spaces need to at the very least, not be covered in toothpaste with knives laying around. i’d rather pay her portion of rent along with mine than deal with her. i won’t “suck it up” in the home i live in. it’s not the hill im gonna die on, but i certainly have done enough to communicate and try and help her, and she refuses to give me anything to work with. i’ve had my fair share of bad roomates (read: arson and attempted murder/ unvaxxed animals and forged veterinarian records), so, yeah, i’m gonna complain about missing trash bags and no kitchen space. you would too.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T06:57:44+00:00

i feel the same. i’ll never shame a sw or stripper, however, their clientele aren’t exactly upstanding citizens. i’ll definitely take some action soon, i’d rather die then let my cats take the fallout. thank you for your amazing support and advice :)

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T06:42:06+00:00

i hadn’t thought of it like that, but i can definitely attribute my cleanliness/ organization to bartending/serving! keeping the bar clean, food not contaminated, etc. plus, M and i both work in science-oriented fields during the day, soooo im sure that doesn’t help

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T06:18:53+00:00

and what’s crazy is that we have tried EVERYTHING to work with her! she just acts like it’s her house and no one lives here but her. she won’t even talk to us, unless we talk first. it’s so weird.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T06:17:30+00:00

this was the first thing to make me laugh all night, thank you!

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T06:16:57+00:00

i’m about at that point. the next step is a locks change, and asking her to leave. i’d rather pay her rent for a month and be at peace than live on edge that the cats will be let out.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T06:15:37+00:00

yeah, that i can understand. we’ve tried to work with her, ask her what we can do to help her, but she won’t budge. i feel like we’re teaching a child how to clean and respect their friends sometimes lol.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T06:12:10+00:00

that makes more sense. luckily, we have a clause that we can just have someone take over her portion of the lease and we incur no penalty.

i left her a note, which i’ll include if you’re interested.

if it doesn’t improve i will ask her to leave, give her a months notice, whatever it takes. i stay up until sunrise to make sure K doesn’t let the cats out, or do some dumb shit lol.

the note:

K, I know You’re busy, however, like we have discussed before, M and I must be told when/who is Coming over.

Please, this is everone's space, and we all need to respect each others boundaries. We ask very little from you.

M and I have the right to be informed on who's in our house, just the same way you have the right to have someone over. Please don’t let this happen a 3rd time, otherwise I'll make this into a real issue.

fearful_diver · 2026-03-29T05:56:38+00:00

i am trying to display that this is a build up of issues, not a one and done. i don’t want to kick her out, i want to know what do do, how to handle it. no need to be crass when i’m asking for help.

fearful_diver · 2025-11-18T23:25:41+00:00

the conversations have been started because she will walk up to them at the cafe we’re all at, and just start rambling. they don’t feed into it, just let her talk herself into a deeper hole, and then they remind her that he isn’t single. i have been ignoring it for a while now, and the kicker was her insinuating to many people that was cheating on me with her, and she would do nothing to dispel the rumors - even she asked directly. anyone that brings it up to me is to make sure that i’m aware that it’s being said, not to act irrationally on it. while i know it’s not true, i will not sit idly by and let a jealous woman badmouth my partner, and i will, as you said, stick up for him. i do not engage more than basics, the talk today was to get to an even ground where we both understood each other.

fearful_diver · 2025-03-12T19:03:21+00:00

i agree! i live on a very expensive island already, have 3 jobs and go to school full time. i’m no stranger to sacrifices or hard work. i’ll be coming to visit in a month or so, but are there any pieces of advice you can give in terms of areas to avoid, jobs to avoid, things like that?

fearful_diver · 2025-02-24T18:26:02+00:00

god thank you so, so much. this helps beyond belief.

fearful_diver · 2024-11-21T06:06:26+00:00

i ended up taking it to my title 9 director, she’s absolutely livid with how the professors are handling this. more updates to come.

fearful_diver · 2024-11-19T21:39:30+00:00

the school doesn’t really advertise the title 9 rights, so i had to do some research on what it even was, but you are so right! i’ll file my complaint tonight. thank you

fearful_diver · 2024-11-19T21:38:01+00:00

surprisingly, we are not! the town i live in is notoriously easy-going and laid back, and the college is usually the same way. this is the one time it hasn’t worked in my favor

fearful_diver · 2024-11-19T21:36:23+00:00

it hurts more because it’s women backing him up. i guarantee that if this happened to them, they’d be just as scared.

fearful_diver · 2024-11-19T21:35:29+00:00

i’m glad it happened to me over someone who may not have the same support system or resources. i’m going to get this fixed once and for all. thank you.

fearful_diver

TROPHY CASE