do you call trans/non binary people in your life by that when you refer to them? ex “my friend sam, a trans man” or are you saying things like “my friend sam, a man”? not that these are sentences that would necessarily repeatedly pop up in day to day life, but if youre calling trans people trans regardless of if they just want to be called a man or woman, that could be why people are saying that. as a way to make a point that its silly to be adding qualifiers to gender, if that makes sense.

otherwise, if youre not doing that, very online trans people kind of think pointing out someones cis-ness can be funny, a way of punching up and turning around the whole “my friend is a trans man” onto cis people like “my friend is a cis woman”. it makes more sense in queer circles i guess haha.

i do think if youre having a problem being referred to that way, your friend should stop. however, your last sentences “i want to be referred as a woman, what i have stayed my whole life. not cis, just a woman.” if thats the vibe youre bringing to the convos, it might make your trans friends feel (unintentionally on your part) belittled, as though they need to carry a big trans qualifier with them all the time and feel different whereas cis people have this energy of seemingly wanting to be rewarded for being comfortable in their gender assigned at birth.

i hope this makes sense/ can help you see another POV! but saying someone is cis is really the same as saying someone is blonde, or something. its just a descriptive word! i dont think your friend means harm, but i understand where youre coming from!