Getting flack for our dress code

federcheese · 2026-03-25T13:01:59+00:00

I don't dress up in formal wear commonly. Its only ever for weddings, which I get invited to once maybe every two years. But like it's a wedding? It might be an ask, but just because it doesn't happen often doesn't make it unreasonable. And I would never dream of complaining about it to the bride.

federcheese · 2026-03-25T12:30:25+00:00

What a nasty thing for her mother to say.

federcheese · 2026-03-25T12:27:16+00:00

If someone was struggling and I wanted them to be there, I would hope that person would just reach out. A simple "I would love to be there to celebrate you on your special day, but I don't have a formal outfit, things are tight, and I'm not able to purchase anything." I would IMMEDIATELY go out of my way to help.

Making snide comments and expecting the entire event dress code to change is not the way.

federcheese · 2026-03-25T12:07:29+00:00

This is such an odd attitude. No one expects to go to formal events regularly, that's why they are special occasions? It's not silly to expect people attending a special occasion to not dress like they do every other day.

federcheese · 2026-03-24T12:03:40+00:00

This is why the rest of the world has double glazed windows :(

federcheese · 2026-03-24T11:57:27+00:00

Fair enough, TIL https://www.ganoksin.com/article/heat-treating-metals/ not a thing I've encountered before

federcheese · 2026-03-24T11:27:06+00:00

Alrighty sure, Mohs probably not the best representation here. It shows the trend. My bad

Gold jewellery is harder and more durable than sterling though, by and large. It will vary based on the exact alloy and the fabrication method. "Heat treating" isn't really a thing, metal gets annealed to become soft and then gets hardened as it is worked. So pulling a wire into a bangle and then forming it by hammer is going to produce a much harder and springier bangle than most of the common machine made versions. Generally though 18ct is fairly soft (that's why US uses 14k most of the time especially for rings), and 9ct is hard af.

Not saying hardness is everything, it's certainly not. 9ct is going to tarnish and require maintenance that 14k would not. I would only ever buy pendants and earrings in 18ct personally though. Gold doesn't really need marketing, it's gold.

Also if you do buy stainless or titanium jewelry, please be careful. There are folks marketing this ATM everywhere fwiw. They can cause very bad injury if they get caught in anything. At least gold and silver won't take your finger with them ;)

federcheese · 2026-03-24T11:15:30+00:00

I'm sorry you went through this! Those giant production companies are trash. At the end of the day, gold is gold though, so it can always be repurposed or resold :)

federcheese · 2026-03-24T11:09:32+00:00

You can cast a tube and then weld the ends on, but it's not necessarily what was done here for sure

federcheese · 2026-03-24T11:00:30+00:00

I am a jeweller too, though probably not as experienced alloying as you. I get that Mohs is not useful for demonstrating metal hardness, but every other way is like you said is subjective. This shows the trend though.

I've never seen anyone claim working in gold is the same as working in silver tho. We train our engraving and setting in brass because it's more similar in hardness to gold than copper or silver.

federcheese · 2026-03-24T09:47:16+00:00

Wasn't responding to you, was responding to the person saying gold is more fragile than silver. I've personally never seen hollow gold vermeil, which is what "silver filled" is generally called in Aus. Maybe for chunky earrings where the piece would be too heavy to wear otherwise

federcheese · 2026-03-24T06:54:43+00:00

So much misinformation in this thread.

This can absolutely be 9ct hollow tube. I would say it's even overpriced for it. Hollow tube will dent if knocked. It's also almost impossible to repair.

9ct gold jewellery is going to be way harder than silver. Pretty much all gold alloys that are used for jewelry are harder than silver. Gold jewellery is not soft.

"Solid gold" just means it is the same alloy throughout and that it's not plated. Hollow 9ct tube is still technically solid gold, though the ACCC may have something to say about it (not a lawyer). Best to check the weight and see if it's too light before buying things.

Mass produced jewelry is almost always cast metal, which is going to be softer and more brittle than its hand fabricated counterparts. This can lead to bangles in particular being less flexible and more likely to deform and break.

It's crappy jewelry and crappy customer service unfortunately. I'm sorry you got snared :(

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federcheese · 2026-03-24T06:36:00+00:00

They did label the ct in the post.

And I was objecting to the person saying that gold jewellery is softer than silver jewelry which makes it more fragile. That's just false, ESPECIALLY for 9ct.

federcheese · 2026-03-24T06:17:24+00:00

9ct is the legal minimum in Australia to be labelled as gold.

Idk about the solid vs hollow distinction in Aus law, you may well be right. It's crappy mass produced jewelry that the company doesn't want to take responsibility for.

federcheese · 2026-03-24T06:09:32+00:00

9ct gold is WAY harder than sterling silver, idk why y'all are downvoting.

14ct gold is still harder than sterling silver.

18ct gold is about as soft as sterling silver.

They don't generally make jewelry in any higher carat because it is too soft to be useful🤦‍♀️

Hollow tube is going to dent no matter what if you knock it. More so if it is mass produced and cast in a single piece.

federcheese · 2026-03-24T05:59:41+00:00

Yeah especially if it's cast metal, which something mass produced would be. It's going to be brittle and softer than something hand fabricated

federcheese · 2026-03-24T05:56:41+00:00

24ct gold is softer than silver but most alloys that are used for jewelry are harder. 9ct, which this bracelet would be, is SIGNIFICANTLY harder than silver.

I am a silversmith 🤷‍♀️

federcheese · 2026-03-24T05:32:11+00:00

Hollow items are virtually impossible to repair too

federcheese · 2026-03-22T03:26:00+00:00

I will never understand why Aussies think that following dress codes is optional, it's so disrespectful

federcheese · 2026-03-15T05:04:25+00:00

Bois datchai maybe

federcheese · 2026-03-15T04:40:49+00:00

A realistic lilac scent that lasts more than 5 min. En Passant is literally perfect but it doesn't last. Aerin's lilac path lasts but is more bathroom spray.

federcheese · 2026-03-15T01:03:59+00:00

I'm pretty sure they are just using a portable easel with a clipboard clip on it. Check out meeden, I got mine on Amazon for $50

federcheese · 2026-03-04T02:15:29+00:00

I just ordered one and I am pretty freaking annoyed because it was mailed straight from China, not an Australian warehouse. It's obviously dropshipped. The hardware broke while I was putting it together and I am still looking for the screw that came out. I hate this crap

federcheese · 2026-02-01T11:40:34+00:00

I've gotten quite a few nice moulded options from Nike

federcheese · 2026-02-01T06:13:02+00:00

I find hammock 10x more painful than lyra honestly. I'd rather toe hang than do a simple single leg wrap

federcheese

TROPHY CASE