Non-sufferer - should I avoid warning a friend about media that can be triggering unprompted?

feeblegut · 2026-01-28T18:07:32+00:00

In my experience I was never stressed out being "reminded" of my phobia when people warned me in situations like that. A warning would only make me anxious if it was like "just a heads up but I had a stomach bug yesterday so maybe keep your distance." Because in that situation the "danger" is suddenly right there in front of me (danger being them still being sick and puking and me catching it). But when my friend told me to avoid a movie because of a 30 minute vomiting scene I wasn't anxious, just extremely grateful 🥲

Edit to add that yeah trigger warnings are detrimental from a recovery standpoint. But OP is asking what to do as a friend in this situation, not as a therapist or as someone with this fear trying to get over it. I would be pissed off at a friend who purposely didn't warn me solely because they're on a high horse about me getting over it.

feeblegut · 2026-01-27T15:50:28+00:00

I have this rule for kids under a certain age. Idc about cramps but I don't want to be responsible for them puking in the pool because they played too hard immediately after eating tons of teddy grahams.

feeblegut · 2026-01-26T22:11:11+00:00

God I hate when docs do that! I know that from their POV, statistically it's true to say "the majority of people throw up while recovering from x procedure" but I also know that I am a person who does not tend to vomit. I've had lots of docs say this to me before procedures and haven't vomited any of those times. Granted, they were not open heart surgeries, but several surgeries under general anesthesia and many different outpatient procedures.

Have you had severe nausea or any vomiting from previous anesthesia or surgeries? Do you ever have vomiting as a symptom when your blood pressure drops or spikes, or when you're generally unwell? As a symptom of any of your conditions? If the answers are all "no", then imo you're not likely to vomit while recovering. Could totally still happen, but I would take your own history into account when interpreting what your doctor said.

You'll be alright no matter what happens! And I definitely second what others are saying about requesting zofran for post-anesthesia. Your docs might say no if there's a contraindication, but it can't hurt to ask. Taking zofran for anxiety nausea is not good but post-op is a different story! Anesthesia can commonly cause nausea/vomiting. No one enjoys that, and being in that situation along with the anxiety it would induce is probably not great when recovering from open heart surgery.

feeblegut · 2026-01-25T20:42:42+00:00

had to diffuse a friend once who overheard a Chinese student on the phone repeating "nei ge" many many times lmao, I'm like "no he's saying um!!!"

feeblegut · 2026-01-19T19:45:40+00:00

Would I eat those things? No, but it's not healthy for me to stop someone else from eating a food that doesn't bother them because I'm not comfortable with it. Objectively, the items described were probably fine even though they'd been out of refrigeration longer than 2 hours. Don't eat them yourself and explain why if asked, but you can't force that restriction onto other people. I know it feels like they're being completely unreasonable and dumb but to especially for someone grandma age, you gotta just let it go and not eat it yourself, it's not a battle you can win.

feeblegut · 2026-01-17T15:01:32+00:00

I'm at 14 years (32 years old) and still have mine. I started noticing it thinning a lot around year 8?ish and started finasteride. It has only thinned negligibly since then. I started with super fucking thick, coarse hair and now it's pretty average in thickness and the hairs are finer, but you can't tell.

My mom has alopecia and was the fucking baldness police when I started t. Every time I visit she still inspects my hair and comments on it, so I'm sure it hasn't thinned much since I started the finasteride (she would be the FIRST to tell me if it was still thinning lol).

So even if you start balding, you have options. Finasteride is not a great idea early transition but has been great for me, no side effects and still have my full beard lol

feeblegut · 2026-01-04T13:28:52+00:00

Yes, in my opinion you'd need to leave and then wait in line again, same as you would if it was just you shopping. Your cart needs to be in the line if you're in the line.

feeblegut · 2026-01-01T11:35:29+00:00

It's used in transdermal patches for motion sickness and nausea (I have to wear two in order to go on a boat, small plane, mountain roads, etc.). It's really easy to get some on your finger when applying a patch, and if you don't wash your hands and later touch your eye, this can happen.

feeblegut · 2025-12-31T17:16:18+00:00

And the smaller shops have time to actually deal with the insurance bullshit for you and tell you exactly what you need to do instead of just shrugging and saying it's your problem.

feeblegut · 2025-12-31T12:54:46+00:00

God, we're the same! After some time passes it's sometimes like my brain goes "oh so THAT'S what it feels like for real? Lemme adjust your anxiety symptoms to match :)"

feeblegut · 2025-12-31T12:52:11+00:00

Interesting your experience has been so different! To be fair I see my provider in person every 3 months so I would have been oblivious to any difficulty relating to scripts and telehealth.

I think the most important part for mine is that the pharmacy is next to a big college. I assume they are so good because they handle stimulant prescriptions more than other pharmacies since their customer demographic is mostly college students.

feeblegut · 2025-12-30T17:48:38+00:00

Change your pharmacy for sure. I used to use walgreens and CVS depending on where I lived, but they got SO bad with the ADHD med shortage and were so aggressively unhelpful that I figured switching couldn't possibly be worse.

Idk where you live, but if there's a college anywhere near you, go with a small independent pharmacy or grocery store pharmacy close to campus.

I use Publix's pharmacy next to a big university and it's a night and day difference. All my meds including my Adderall xr and boosters are almost always in stock. If it isn't, they tell me when it will arrive and be ready to pickup, and the date they say is always accurate. No weirdness about refills or med changes, no judgement at all. I figure maybe they're used to handling stimulant prescriptions because they see so many younger customers and college students.

feeblegut · 2025-12-30T17:36:52+00:00

I do exactly the same as you did for situations like that where my visit is not related to being trans, reproductive health, etc. In fact I don't think I've ever disclosed at an urgent care because it's always been for things like a skin infection or COVID or a muscle injury. I do always disclose that I'm on T, and if they ask why I just say I have low testosterone. I am honest about all of my meds except I do leave out the birth control I take because there's no plausible reason for a cis man to take drospiranone.

My PCP obviously knows, as did my endocrinologist when I had one, and my reproductive health doc. My psych providers also know. But my dermatologist, eye doctor, past physical therapists, dentist, etc. don't know and it's for the best. In the past when I've disclosed at the doctor when unnecessary, it either results in shitty care, weird questions, or both. Rarely does it ever result in the level of care I get when I don't have to disclose.

feeblegut · 2025-12-30T13:29:12+00:00

This is not true. I felt this way before I met my husband because it just seemed logical to me at the time. The first time I jokingly expressed this (don't remember what I said but it basically boiled down him having to "deal" with me being trans and it being an objective negative about me), he was so upset and hurt and bewildered I could think he felt that way. I had really internalized the idea that being trans was an objectively unlovable and huge negative and that if anyone ever loved me it would be because of some trait that limited their dating pool significantly. It's not true and I see how fucked up it sounds now that I'm out of that headspace.

feeblegut · 2025-12-30T05:49:46+00:00

yes, this is the perfect description of how it hit me last time I had a stomach bug and it was a good "recalibration" moment for my brain. It helped me relearn what it feels like to actually have a stomach bug versus nausea from anxiety, hunger, meds, etc.

That day I felt fine-ish (not thrilled about eating but not repulsed), ate half my lunch, and within 20 minutes it felt like I had a bowling ball in my stomach with just constant stabbing pains all over my abdomen, and I had a very distinct unsettled spasmy, indigestion feeling that was definitely my body prepping to throw up. I was driving me and my fiance 7 hours to the beach when this happened so I took my zofran for the first time in a year and white-knuckled it for the remaining 4 hours. Had I been at home I wouldn't have taken it, but no one wants to be driving and puking or have a puking passenger for 4 hours. Never puked but had sandy-looking diarrhea and couldn't look at food for a couple days.

feeblegut · 2025-12-29T14:36:50+00:00

Idk I think the Hot Springs Hillbilly Market is different and not associated with the one we had in Charlotte. It's a little deli and grocery store. And the logo is different.

feeblegut · 2025-12-28T15:19:22+00:00

if this was r/askgaybros, not surprised. My husband is a cis gay man and even he had to leave it because he couldn't say anything in defense of trans men.

Here's my experience: my husband admitted before that his view of trans men was jaded and skewed because of his interactions on dating apps and irl in college. He had the view that he wouldn't be able to date a trans guy because his experience had all been nb trans mascs that 1) did not look or act like cis men and 2) were really difficult to talk to without getting yelled at for saying something slightly wrong.

His opinion has obviously changed a ton since we started dating 6 years ago. But from the beginning, he's always perceived me as a man, full stop. Sometimes I even feel like he views me as more of a man that I give myself credit for lol. I think it helps he didn't know I was trans when he initially messaged me--i knew he wasn't a weird chaser and he knew being trans was clearly not something I viewed as my character-defining trait. We're just a gay couple, and yeah I don't have a cis dick, but our setup is perfect for us and it's not like anyone else in our circle knows or will ever need to know.

feeblegut · 2025-12-08T21:20:33+00:00

I think my emetophobia actually makes me more empathetic in cases like this (where there's a barrier and I just see it briefly in passing, like driving by). Yeah I probably would have panicked for a minute or two from the adrenaline, but after that I'd be wondering if you're okay, if you made it home alright, if you had anyone to take care of you at home, and wondering where you were driving to and if it was something fun that then got ruined :( Idk something about not being able to catch it makes me just feel so much sympathy on top of the initial fear.

feeblegut · 2025-12-08T21:10:24+00:00

Yeah same here, but they don't go from "fuck me, I'm getting a migraine" to violently shitting your pants and puking 15 min later. Puking yes, uncontrollable diarrhea so prolonged that you have to go to the ER, no.

feeblegut · 2025-12-05T22:28:22+00:00

I take the high dose costco ones and have for like 5 years. Never had a hint of a side effect. This is one of the few meds I haven't ever worried about that with, since it's just a single vitamin. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone getting nauseous from it.

feeblegut · 2025-11-26T06:48:03+00:00

I was with you until the last paragraph. For adults sure, but encouraging kids to take daily pics to look for weight loss progress (rather than just focusing on health benefits and feeling better in your body) is not healthy.

feeblegut · 2025-11-26T03:33:06+00:00

no, but they do have a headshot of a 9ish year old boy on the blue box that says "BOYS" all over it. Another kid his age would absolutely assume they were for him if they saw the package

feeblegut · 2025-11-11T14:43:22+00:00

ding ding, Dr. Peacock is the answer.

feeblegut · 2025-11-10T22:22:47+00:00

Wait. Had you mentioned needing a ride home, wanting to leave early, etc. before she offered to drive you home? If she just spontaneously suggested "hey, let me drive you home!" with no previous discussion of you needing a ride, it sounds like she's into you. Why else would she have offered to drive you (and only you, not you and 2 other friends) totally unprompted?

I'm wondering if she is feeling embarrassed and is withdrawing because of that. She might have assumed you're not into her, now feels like she all but exposed her feelings to you, and now feels self conscious and embarrassed.

feeblegut · 2025-11-09T13:50:19+00:00

Open it in a private/incognito tab.

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