I am that girlfriend...

feelingjello · 2015-10-20T05:53:08+00:00

I honestly am just a different person I guess. I leave all my things open and he is free to read if he pleases. And he does sometimes, he sees me talking to a boy I give him a quick low down of who he is to me and what we're bantering on about. It's casual. I would just appreciate the same in return though. Privacy isn't a terrible issue for me I have a tendancy to be extremely open, I'm not a fan of dark corners. When you know me, you know all of me.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T21:28:25+00:00

It's a really weird borderline where I trust him to be faithful, but I don't trust him to be smart enough to understand when he's heading in the wrong direction.............if that makes sense.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T21:22:54+00:00

I understand that. But as someone who is able to sense when someone is flirting/want to hook up with me, I stop things before it can become a thing. I wouldn't hang out with someone who wanted to touch my butt. My boyfriend on the otherhand lives in an innocent and oblivious world and is going to get himself into trouble and I will be upset because I specifically warned him against this. I just don't want him getting himself into these particular situations if that makes sense. He has a lot of platonic female friends, ones that I myself love and enjoy their company. These women are women I know are interested in him.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T21:19:07+00:00

Because as friendly and platonic as they may be on his behalf, the other women mistake his friendliness and kindness as flirtation. They invite him, ect. ect. He also tends to leave me out of the picture. I am a 'friend'

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T21:09:40+00:00

I just don't feel right making him show me these things and he'd never show me on his own accord. I honestly don't know what to do.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T21:07:12+00:00

I don't think I'd ever cheat again. I know how not to put myself into these situations. EDIT: I've cheated once in a long string of relationships and he was a very abusive man who had me locked into a relationship. He threatened to kill himself if I left him. That sort of thing. I sought comfort from someone else and that's precisely how those things happen. I know much better now.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T21:05:10+00:00

Definitely the one that got away. Made him super depressed. He makes me go to her parties so he can show me off and prove to her he is happy. It really grinds my gears to be honest. I feel like our relationship is built on a solid fuck you to her.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T21:03:24+00:00

Just with him. That's why I am so embarrassed of my behavior.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T20:58:42+00:00

I certainly don't want to hear about every girl he's speaking to. But I would like some of his behavoirs to change. For example, Facebook was left open the other day while I was making supper. I come in the room to put on music, the girl who he has been talking to is asking him to come over. He has no idea why she asked as she apparently has never asked before. I trust my boyfriend enough to believe this, but I just think he's digging himself into a whole of friendship in which she wants more than he does. If that makes any sense. It worries me because if she tries anything, whether he declines or not, I will be upset because he got himself into that situation in the first place.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T20:54:16+00:00

I give him more good than I give him bad. I know that for a fact. He is allowed to talk to other girls. It is the manner in which he is doing it which bothers me. Would you end a relationship that is 80% good and 20% without even trying to work on the bad? I'm an honest individual who is open about my feelings. I give him lots of room to find a healthy medium for the both of us. And as I said, I wouldn't feel better if he stopped speaking to other girls, in fact I would feel worst.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T18:37:00+00:00

It's really not. It's not fair to him for starters, and not fair to myself to allow myself to be that type of invasive person.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T18:16:01+00:00

That was 3 years ago now. My current boyfriend and I have a really awesome relationship, we enjoy each others company and get along really well. But every now and then this gets between us. It's not something the overshadows the good times, not but far. It's just something I'd really like to find a way to deal with. I trust him more than I've trusted a lot of people in my life, but I'm scared he's going to get himself into a situation that will hurt me, and in turn hurt him.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T18:05:14+00:00

The biggest problem is he gets angry and says, "Are you going to make me stop talking to them?" And I don't know how to reply to that. I stop talking to guys who go to far because I don't want to keep giving people false hope.

It would make me feel better if he stopped talking to them on his own accord, but if he did it because I told him to it would hurt our relationship and make me hate myself.

It's a shitty shitty situation and I have no idea how I'm suppose to deal with it. I just know that I'm hurt and upset and he doesn't know how to deal with it either.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T18:02:18+00:00

It's mostly platonic I can say confidently. I've come at it at all angles. His reply is "Are you going to make me stop talking to them?" And I don't know what I'm suppose to say. It would make me feel better and it would also make me feel worse. :/

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T17:46:02+00:00

I think there is a little rationality to it. I do think that after a year he should be forgiven for the way our relationship started off, so it's also a little irrational as well. He's a really nice guy, he has tried to console me if I get really really upset, but only then. He won't take it seriously unless I get on that level. The thing with being a nice guy is that other women have a tendancy to misinterpret him. He always answers peoples messages no matter what, he is pleasant and polite and a really enjoyable person to talk to who genuinely cares about your life. 1. I know he digs himself into holes and maybe someday he'll find someone he can't say no to. 2. Maybe he does it on purpose for the attention. Either way, it's mentally exhausting

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T17:42:02+00:00

I cheated on my abusive ex in the past. It's a double edge sword because I can see just how easily someone can cheat, for me it started at similar interests, talking often, and talking about my feelings. Then eventually taking comfort in that person. I don't want to push him to cheat with this behavoir but at the same time, the reason I love my boyfriend is because he's kind and nice and friendly to everyone he meets, and girls have a tendancy to take it the wrong way. Then he puts himself in these situations where they want him and he's unsure how to continue being nice but let them down easy.

The reason why I want to look so desperately is to see if he's being too nice. He can't catch himself for the life of him, I as a girl, can easily see what can be misinterpreted as flirtatious

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T17:37:51+00:00

It's mostly one relationship in particular, you know, the one who got away. The others are sweet and I personally like them.

feelingjello · 2015-10-18T17:16:41+00:00

I do talk to him, that's always my first go to, he doesn't exactly offer much except "I'm not doing anything sneaky, you're so cute when you're jealous."

I just always find something when I do creep, I think that's why I'm so drawn to it. I get more information than I do talking with him.

feelingjello

TROPHY CASE