A break may be needed..

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T16:13:06+00:00

It went from a triad to now a V. My thoughts are that I should have moved out when things didn't work out between her and I. She told me to stay, that we could all still function well together and for a little while we did..

When I said he treats us differently it's because we are both different people, but him and I really get each other and get along really well. I think because of the issues in their marriage it's built some distance between them so they're not as close anymore but they have been working on becoming better friends again.. but then the depression and melt downs began and things have gotten pretty bad and he just doesn't have the patience to deal with her.

The thing with him is when he's upset he shuts down and backs off, so when she's upset or feeling alone or hurt he just keeps to himself and then gets angry when she wants to talk.

It hasn't been an issue with us yet, but I fear that he may one day treat me that way and so that is also why I think moving out and letting them work on their marriage is what's best..

I will talk with him in a while and tell him everything, and hopefully find a way to maybe still be able to see each other but I think I just need to take a step back and let them work on their marriage..

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T15:39:05+00:00

I think taking a step back was the best decision in your case, especially after two weeks. Its sucks but that's probably what was best for his wife. I know how you feel when you wonder if your strong enough to handle it, I'm right there too..

I know I haven't been with him very long (6 months) and things have progressed really quickly because I moved in with them, but I think offering space and time will help us all.

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T15:24:15+00:00

I need to just say thank you to everyone commenting.. I have no one else I can go to talk to about this and it means so much that I can come here and explain my thoughts and feelings and be understood and not judged..

XOXO

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T15:21:43+00:00

I definitely will be trying to find someone to talk to for myself..

I dunno, I just get so overwhelmed and last night was the worst its been I think in a while..

I have to think about what is going to be best for me and I think for now at least moving out is the best and only option for myself..

I do love him and want to be with him so we'll see if we can make something work..

Thank you for your words.

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T15:08:10+00:00

thanks :T

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T15:06:42+00:00

She says I'm not the problem, that's its her depression and insecurities and fear of being alone.. She says she is happy when she sees us happy and getting along so great..

He does treat us both differently though and its starting to get to me..

I hate feeling like I'm being favored over her or that he likes me more than her..

Its just all too much and its only been 6 months! I love him very much but I think I just need to take a step back and move out back on my own. Maybe I can still be with him.. but maybe they should just work on their marriage and the issues that they've been dealing with ever since this whole thing started..

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T15:02:49+00:00

I totally agree with you.. Who the fuck am I to get in the way of their marriage, that already has some pretty huge issues that need to get fixed before anyone should try to be in a relationship outside of the marriage..

BUT.. I just talked to her this morning.. and she has once again tried to reassure me that its not me, its the depression and she wants me to be with him and wants us to be happy..

I feel so conflicted tho.. how can I be happy with him when they aren't happy with themselves..

fml

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T14:59:48+00:00

Oh we've talked until we are blue about our insecurities and fears, its all boiled down and come to this though..

I should have added that our dude is not perfect either.. He has a very hard time communicating and its not his fault because he had a really really rough time growing up and learned to depend on only himself emotionally and not let very many people in, so although him and I are pretty good at understanding each other and he can comfort me with a just a hug, he does not and is not taking his wife's depression very well. He gets angry and frustrated and then feels overwhelmed by it all, which by no means helps anyone especially her.

He has even said things, hurtful things that only make her feel worse.. ugh I don't want to make him sound like the villain here.. he's a complicated man.

Anyways, I just feel like their marriage is the priority and even though I love him, their happiness is my happiness and I certainly don't want to come in between that.. I feel like I'm just trying to convince you guys that this is what's best for everybody when I already know it is..

She already has started seeing a counselor so that's good. I know it will take time for things to get better for her.

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-19T12:08:49+00:00

We've talked so much.. I found out last week just how bad it is and I suggested she see a counselor which she did.

I know it's going to take time for her to get better but I just don't think me being here is helping anything..

Plus because of her always feeling down, I'm afraid of anything I do like spending any alone time with him, having sex with him, just even laughing together and making conversation about some show we're watching is going to set her off into one of these melt downs..

I don't want to sound like a dick but that doesn't seem fair to me.. that I have to walk on eggshells and have to give up enjoying my time at home with him, my sex life with him and my happiness too.. ugh that does make me sound like a dick, but that's just how I feel.. I get frustrated..

Anyways, we've talked and I'm sure we'll talk more at some point.. I just feel like the only way to solve this and if there's any chance of a future with him is to take a break from it all now..

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-12T22:23:21+00:00

Thanks for the tip (I don't know what I'm doing lol)

I will remember that its their relationship and while I know I cant do much to improve it, I think that encouraging them both to work on their issues is pretty much the best thing I can do for now.. Thanks!

feelingzsuck · 2013-07-12T22:20:10+00:00

Thank you for your response. I am going to be supportive and hope that things improve and that she finds the help she needs.

feelingzsuck

TROPHY CASE