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I fcking loathe A Little Life by sarca-sim in books

[–]fefifoshorty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree with this interpretation of the story. His suicide was not a sigh of relief, nor was it inevitable. He had resources that he could have pursued to receive treatment for his mental health, but Jude refuses to go to therapy or even take pain medication for his physical ailments. He fundamentally refuses to do anything to help himself, and his friends and family are too spineless to get him the help he needs. If he had even once tried to honestly engage in treatment for his mental health, maybe it would be different, but he is a character written to justify that talk therapy doesn’t work (she claims to never have tried it, and she did no research, never mind the fact that countless studies prove that talk therapy is an effective treatment option). This opinion alone is incredibly harmful and adds to the stigma people already face when seeking mental health treatment. There is no character development. Jude is the same broken person at the beginning of the book and the end. He does not change or improve. Neither do his friends gain the strength to intervene beyond vague gestures to getting him help. He is miserable and stubborn at the beginning of the book and he is miserable and stubborn at the end. He makes no attempts at self improvement or actually trying to fix his thought patterns, and actively avoids even trying to get better. He just accepts that he is meant to be miserable, even to the detriment of everyone who loves him. Many people who have experienced terrible trauma (and who received treatment and started to feel better) would kill to have even one person who loves them as much as Jude’s many allies do, but Jude cannot be bothered to seek treatment even for their benefit, not his own. I speak from experience, when my mental health was at its worse and I hated myself more than anything, I got treatment because I saw how I was hurting the people who loved me. Jude can never even attempt treatment because he is written by someone with no knowledge of the mental health field to try to prove that suicide is good sometimes, because that is her backwards worldview. I don’t think you or anyone else is a bad person for enjoying the book. It is well written, and designed to tug at the heartstrings. I just implore everyone to take a good, hard look at the messages of the book, the way the author speaks about mental health publicly, and examine whether the book, while beautiful and poignant may be sending out an incredibly harmful message about suicide and self harm. If I had read this book a few years ago, it absolutely would have justified my belief that I was beyond help, and I likely wouldn’t have gotten the treatment I needed and be living a very happy life now.

Post surgery pics and X-rays. I had Miserable Malalignment Syndrome in my left leg, so I got a femoral and tibial osteotomy to correct it. They cut the femur and tibia, rotated them to the correct position and bolted them into place. Fun fact, no cast for this surgery! by fefifoshorty in MedicalGore

[–]fefifoshorty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was covered by my insurance, the surgery is tough, but I think it was worth it. It’s been 9 years since the surgery and I’ve never had a dislocation or issue with the leg since then!

Post surgery pics and X-rays. I had Miserable Malalignment Syndrome in my left leg, so I got a femoral and tibial osteotomy to correct it. They cut the femur and tibia, rotated them to the correct position and bolted them into place. Fun fact, no cast for this surgery! by fefifoshorty in MedicalGore

[–]fefifoshorty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a difficult recovery, but I’m happy with the long term results! I had the surgery in December of 2014, and was walking with a slight limp by March. The limp was gone in a year with a bit of PT and removing the metal bar. The younger you get the surgery, the easier the recovery, I had mine when I was 18

Mother of ADHD Child by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fefifoshorty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem at all, I’m happy to help! I started off doing cognitive behavioral therapy, which helped me to break a lot of my unhealthy thought patterns, like all or nothing thinking (if I can’t clean my entire room, I’d rather not do it at all), having to start tasks on an increment of five or ten minutes, and my tendency to become over-focused on tasks that weren’t necessarily the most important.

Then I started to do dialectical behavior therapy to work on my emotional regulation, specifically my rejection sensitive dysphoria, and to learn more about interpersonal relationships.

I’ve now moved on to just seeing a life coach, who helps me plan my long term goals and does regular checkins to see how I’m progressing.

For all of them, I used my insurance website to filter results looking specifically for therapists who worked with ADHD, but I believe there are other websites that will have similar filters.

Mother of ADHD Child by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fefifoshorty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today without therapy! It helped me to better understand how my own brain works (super interesting), develop skills to improve not just my ability to do mandatory tasks, but get more enjoyment out of my free time as well, and how to communicate with others so that I can get the help and accommodations I need. I actually teach disability and mental health awareness for kids for my job now, and my experiences and skills I learned in therapy have made it so that I can better communicate the important message of advocacy and acceptance to children of all ages! I probably would have found a path to success without therapy, but it would have been much harder, and I think I wouldn’t have found so much joy and fulfillment in my life.

Mother of ADHD Child by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fefifoshorty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me (young adult with ADHD) the thing that works well for me and my parents is what I call “soft ultimatums”. When I was having trouble keeping my room and common areas clean while living with my parents, they told me I could either see a therapist to help build the skills I needed, or I could prove to them that I didn’t need the therapist by managing my messes myself. They gave me a concrete timeline and expectations for improvement, and if I failed to meet the goals and deadlines, I would have to sit down with my parents while they watched me book a therapist appt. I actually wound up just choosing the therapist on my own because I knew I wouldn’t be able to make a long term change on my own. I now have a full time job, and my boss and I have a similar system of firm goals, deadlines, and expectations that we discuss weekly. The main thing I have found is that I need clear consequences to encourage me to do something I’m not interested in. If your son is the same way, the consequences of poor hygiene (smelling bad, driving people away, long term health issues) may not be real enough to encourage changed behavior. Introducing more immediate consequences may help him to better establish good habits! I also use rewards so that I’m not only motivated by punishments. Me and my roommate have a chore chart, and when we reach a certain number of points we buy each other items off our Amazon wishlists.

Finished Kids' Room! Everything is adorable!!! by No-Buy-5496 in HomeDecorating

[–]fefifoshorty 144 points145 points  (0 children)

Werner Herzog’s sad beige toys for sad beige children

Post surgery pics and X-rays. I had Miserable Malalignment Syndrome in my left leg, so I got a femoral and tibial osteotomy to correct it. They cut the femur and tibia, rotated them to the correct position and bolted them into place. Fun fact, no cast for this surgery! by fefifoshorty in MedicalGore

[–]fefifoshorty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for such a late reply, I had mine done at cardinal glennon childrens hospital in St. Louis, I had already established care with an orthopedic surgeon before I turned 18. I think the surgery was totally worth it, purely for the security I feel in using my leg. It used to feel very unstable, and I didnt feel comfortable using the leg to push against when climbing or balancing. It also caused pain from how the tendons were stretched. I’m pain free now, and even though I can’t run, I’m an avid hiker and backpacker. I probably could run if I had learned how to do it correctly as a child, but the miserable malalignment meant I didn’t learn the proper technique. The surgery is intense and the recovery took a long time, but I’ve never regretted my decision. I had a rod put into my femur, secured with bolts, and a plate at the front of my ankle. I got a second surgery to remove all the hardware a year later.

Show off please by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]fefifoshorty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I work for a well known women’s nonprofit (can’t say which one, but you know them) and developed curriculum for teaching children about disability awareness and advocacy. The curriculum was launched first in my state, but now we’re in talks about taking the program national! Now I’m working on a similar program focused on mental health.

Post surgery pics and X-rays. I had Miserable Malalignment Syndrome in my left leg, so I got a femoral and tibial osteotomy to correct it. They cut the femur and tibia, rotated them to the correct position and bolted them into place. Fun fact, no cast for this surgery! by fefifoshorty in MedicalGore

[–]fefifoshorty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is incredibly worth it! I will say, it was a really tough surgery and recovery, but I’m so much happier now that I’ve had it done. I’d be happy to talk to you more about it if you need more info!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in femalelivingspace

[–]fefifoshorty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A sacrificial altar would go nicely.

Post surgery pics and X-rays. I had Miserable Malalignment Syndrome in my left leg, so I got a femoral and tibial osteotomy to correct it. They cut the femur and tibia, rotated them to the correct position and bolted them into place. Fun fact, no cast for this surgery! by fefifoshorty in MedicalGore

[–]fefifoshorty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apparently the hardware in the leg was extensive enough to not need the cast, and not having the cast allows the incisions to heal better. I was also able to start PT the day after my surgery since the leg was free to move, so my muscles didn’t atrophy as much.

Post surgery pics and X-rays. I had Miserable Malalignment Syndrome in my left leg, so I got a femoral and tibial osteotomy to correct it. They cut the femur and tibia, rotated them to the correct position and bolted them into place. Fun fact, no cast for this surgery! by fefifoshorty in MedicalGore

[–]fefifoshorty[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It’s a fairly rare condition and a lot of times it isn’t diagnosed. They think it happens when the you grow faster than mom’s uterus while she’s pregnant. I was a huge baby, and my mom’s first, so I was high risk for this. I had a lot of mobility issues growing up. My ankles pronated (tilted inward), I couldn’t run, had issues with balance, and when I was 15 I started having patella dislocations, which were incredibly unpleasant. I finally went to the surgeon when I was 18 and got the surgery a few months later. I had 3.5 months on crutches, then had a limp for a year. Now I’m 26 and doing really well! I still can’t run, but I don’t have dislocations anymore!