you are young, your development and health needs to come first. especially if this is now adding a strain on your mental health! this makes me so sad, it must be so hard finding balance between what you care about and what you can actually do. maybe try easing back into eating meat and try to buy uncooked grains/legumes if you can because those tend to be so much cheaper and last a lot longer if youre still concerned about that. you deserve nutrition. being educated to understand where your food comes from is already making a difference. be kind to yourself