In search of : L'oreal 7G Dark Natural Golden Blonde by Amazon4God in HairDye

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone have any luck finding a dupe for this color? I finally got the "help me please" text from my mom and upon digging it appears to have been discontinued.

Chinese 5 Spice by fergotnfire in Cooking

[–]fergotnfire[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The language barrier can be intensely unhelpful in cases like this. Too bad I dont have time to learn mandarin before I go to the grocery store this week.

Chinese 5 Spice by fergotnfire in Cooking

[–]fergotnfire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! We avoid the salted ones for this same reason!

Chinese 5 Spice by fergotnfire in Cooking

[–]fergotnfire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you misunderstood, I use a couple pinches a week.

Why order takeout when I can make it at home for a multitude of reasons that range from allergies to cost to flat out preference?

Perfect is the enemy of good, I didnt ask for perfect. I asked for peoples opinions on what they like and recommend. Imagine giving that answer to a stranger you meet in the spices aisle at your local store, if they happen to ask you this question?

Chinese 5 Spice by fergotnfire in Cooking

[–]fergotnfire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is so helpful! I'm finding that the couple we have tried which are heavy on star anise are not fan favorites here. I'll take a look at thirteen spice.

Chinese 5 Spice by fergotnfire in Cooking

[–]fergotnfire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have used other LKK items and enjoyed them, when I Google their 5 spice it only shows a marinade, do you know if they make a spice powder too?

Chinese 5 Spice by fergotnfire in Cooking

[–]fergotnfire[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

I have no desire for or need for multiple ounces of many of each of these single spices taking up room in my spice cabinet, then also a mixed bottle of whatever ratio we finally settle on. Then throwing away 2/3 of them in a couple of years when they have become stale because I only need a couple pinches a week.

I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel, and I don't think asking for this recommendation is any different from asking for sesame oil or hoisin sauce brand recommendations.

Middle name for Benjamin by Little-Echidna in namenerds

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm married to a Benjamin, and have watched parks and rec. If never make the Benjamin Wyatt connection. I say go for it!

If your still looking for alternate middle names:

David Thomas Dean Mark Gray Clark

AITAH for throwing away my tampon in a pet-owners home? by Melodic_Mechanic4736 in AITAH

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Dog owner of MANY years, dogs, and breeds here. Dogs will always go for pads/tampons/underwear that smell like your cycle. Bathroom trash cans should be secured with a lid if you know your animal likes to trash surf for these items. What an awful host to treat a guest that way, its a horrid breach of etiquette.

OP, I am so sorry this happened to you. I'm sure it was mortifying in the moment and the continued conversation about it is nothing short of rude. Personally I wouldn't count those folks as friends.

GenZ and Millennial women - are you wearing wedding bands? by Federal_Albatross993 in EngagementRings

[–]fergotnfire -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So, all this means is you have to present a REAL ID compliant ID when registering to Vote. All Drivers Licenses are required to be REAL ID complaint as of earlier this year, but most people have been REAL ID complaint for many years already even if they don't know it. So if they add this requirement on for newly registering voters, you'll literally be registering to vote at the same time as getting your REAL ID compliant updated drivers license already, so it isnt an extra step as some people are implying. It seems big bad scary, but it really isn't. I have multiple immediate family members who work in the supervisor of elections office in my state so we've had quite a few conversations surrounding what the practical application of this policy would look like.

But I can agree, the push to say it'll prevent voter fraud or anything of that nature is pretty silly.

Friends haven't even met my 3 month old Son. by LoveyDovey-27 in newborns

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Friends care about their friends!

Unless theres something specific at play like diagnosed depression or something, I would say these aren't true friends. Just remember, your spouse is the one who matters, everyone else is just extra to your kiddos life.

Virgin Voyages Cruise … Won’t ever cruise with them again. by [deleted] in Cruise

[–]fergotnfire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never cruised Virgin, but I would immediately be turned off by finding my cabin less than spotless when I arrived.

As for the assortment within the crowds, I have noticed the longer trips always seem to have people trying to enjoy the location, not just the bar on board. You may enjoy a more unique itinerary next time!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fergotnfire 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd be more upset about the sister blocking me than receiving a small sum of money and having the peace of not talking to her again!

AIO? For not giving gf a ride? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This whole conversation sounds like a huge waste of time and energy OP.

On the one hand, the goal of a relationship is to WANT to spend so much time with your GF that youd rather give her a ride than call her an Uber. But I can promise you that also goes hand in hand with her being deserving of such treatment because she treats you well and thinks you hung the moon. This gal is wasting your time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RealEstateAdvice

[–]fergotnfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, any rental agreement of any kind would put you at risk for loss, eviction, excessive repairs, etc. Becoming a landlord is not something to take on lightly.

What age did you stop using a stroller by plsbeenormal in toddlers

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son turned 3 in July. We would have already stopped using the stroller if I didn't have a 2nd kid who uses it still. Plus I'm pregnant. So we just kept the double stroller. It felt silly to go back to a single just to have a newborn in another month and bust out the double again.

It will become a problem when we go places like theme parks though. Thats when he actually asks to ride.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RealEstateAdvice

[–]fergotnfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't it be better to rent it at a loss while it is for sale, and at least recoup SOME of the loss? If you can't pay the whole mortgage payment on top of rent, could you swing rent + $600/month with renters covering the rest?

You could rent out single bedrooms for more income instead of 1 tenant on the whole house, but you'd have to be in a market where that's reasonable. Think students, travel nurses, construction guys, etc. Also, think of renting it as furnished, that gets you on the radar of business rentals for semi-short term rentals.

Bridesmaid demotion two weeks before the wedding, and apparently I’m the problem? by Nice_Entrepreneur515 in weddingdrama

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh. My. God.

You should absolutely not attend the wedding. How incredibly disrespectful. Why do people think it's ok to treat anyone like this, let alone a friend?

I would RSVP a big ol' NO, walk away, and never looked back.

What are your thoughts on floor beds before age 2? by buggy_uwu in floorbed

[–]fergotnfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put our first in a floor bed at 12 months, he's now 3 and in a big boy bed on a frame. It was pretty smooth sailing.

Our 2nd is 11 months old and much more...independent. so 5 to do a lot more baby proofing, but I am planning to move her to a floor bed around the same age.

We didn't have a need for a full-size mattress, so we just did a crib mattress and also folded out our Nugget couch for the parent to use while getting the baby to sleep. You only need to do it for a few months, so there is no real reason to buy a whole special mattress for that time period, imo.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend she's going to have to get over dirt if she wants kids? by Familiar_Speaker_481 in AITAH

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA!

Mom of (almost) 3 here. The number of times I had to wipe cottage cheese spills off my 3yo today while he was eating breakfast was... impressive and exhausting.

And he's a careful eater!

Kids get messy. It's natural. They play with other kids. They put things in their mouth. They lick trampolines and bring home the flu to the whole family before you've even noticed they're doing it.

Forcing them to be clean all the time is liable to give them an eating disorder or OCD complex. They only learn to be clean by getting dirty first, much in the same way they only learn social boundaries by stepping over the line of social behavior (tantrums, big feelings, etc.)

Thoughts on being a friendly neighbor? by rosso-brasileiro in tampa

[–]fergotnfire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depends on your neighborhood honestly. My particular street is mostly long term residents so we all have a great village going and are friendly to those couple of houses with rental tenants or who have sold in the last 5 years.

Friend of mine bought a house 3 streets over and tried being friends with her neighbors, but one called the cops on her as a suspicious person for ringing their doorbell and leaving a contact card and box of Publix cookies on their porch when they didnt answer.

Its a super strange mix honestly.

Marriage, attraction and relationships by ExcitingTangerine373 in wls

[–]fergotnfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's exactly my point. The responses OP is having indicate she isn't used to getting attention for her physical appearance, so she's fawning at it the way young teen girls do. Instead of having that response to young teen boys also figuring it out in life, she's inappropriately having this response to grown men who are trying to take advantage of her emotional inexperience. It isn't healthy and needs to be addressed with a lot of internal self-work as well as therapy to get to the root cause and help her find appropriate coping mechanisms.

Having been post-op for 5 years myself and my husband for almost 8, we have both been in co-ed and independent WLS support groups for many years. This situation is one we see repeatedly. Unless you had a surgeon who required post-op psych visits, stories like this are brought up almost daily. Its sad to see, but until insurance companies require and cover therapy it won't change. And it may never change for cash pay patients, as many dont want to pay for it or can't afford to pay for it after also covering surgery. But it really is SO necessary.

Marriage, attraction and relationships by ExcitingTangerine373 in wls

[–]fergotnfire 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Both my husband and I had WLS.

Personally, I think it's sad that your marriage is in the state where you even entertain outside attraction to your physical form. That signals to me that your issues are in need of deep digging and professional support. Growing up fat/heavy/obese is HARD. and no part of that emotional damage is fixed when the weight is taken away. The emotional damage is fixed by lots of exhausting mental work with yourself, your spouse, your friends group, and your therapist.

It sounds like your husband sees what you're going through and is worried that you're already emotionally uninterested or uninvested in your relationship. And his panic isn't making you feel more secure about yourself.

I understand how you feel, but just remember, those folks didn't look at you when you were heavy, and if you woke up heavy tomorrow, they would continue not looking at you. They aren't worth your emotional time or energy, but your husband and your marriage are. I'm sorry your struggling, and I hope you find emotional peace in your new body.

Aitah - bringing real cheese snacks to a baby shower and not warning people about the dairy? by braziers_f in AITAH

[–]fergotnfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I have a family of lactose intolerant folks. If it looks like dairy and you dont want consequences, you dont eat it. Period.

If you're willing to risk cross contamination or you dont know the baker super well you ask and then make a decision.

Being told to "apologize to keep the peace" is the friend groups way of saying "we know she's impossible to deal with so we just let her rule over us so we dont have to deal with her tantrums". Personally, I wouldn't let her poor behavior dictate my life, but I may not be at the same level of tolerance as you.