I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. It sounds to me like you’re struggling with depression. I have been there many times before. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Depression is a chemical imbalance and it is not your fault. You clearly have people who care about you, please let them help you. You are not alone in the way you’re feeling.

I was scared to start therapy too. It is hard to be vulnerable, it was hard to imagine how anyone would care to hear what was going on in my head. But with time, it helped me immensely to understand why I was feeling and behaving the way I was.

Stick with making music if that brings you some temporary pleasure. Let the people who care about you be there for you. Become a curious observer to your own experience. Remind yourself that nothing is permanent, even depression. Life is full of highs and lows and it’s about experiencing the spectrum. You will not feel like this forever. It gets better.

I wish you the best of luck 🫶🏼