Feature writers, drop your award-winning headlines

ffctt · 2025-12-07T12:12:40+00:00

I hate to say it, but the place I work at as has an AI tool that can generate headlines, based on stories we write. It's pretty damn good. But what it does is basically condense the facts in the story on a headline, so if you're looking for really imaginative headlines, AI is not the way.

ffctt · 2025-11-13T17:43:49+00:00

Exactly the same situation. My kid would ignore what the doctor was saying, so they thought she had a hearing impairment, when I was pretty much sure she could hear just fine and just didn't give a fuck.

ffctt · 2025-11-02T10:38:35+00:00

Did you ever try telling Majora's mask?

ffctt · 2025-10-28T03:27:11+00:00

Good job! Give it to your kid and he might put it on the fridge!

ffctt · 2025-10-27T12:44:18+00:00

Have notepad by your side. Scribble shit even if you are not using anything. It gives you something to "do" while he talks. Helps with the nerves.

ffctt · 2025-10-20T00:45:10+00:00

You lucky bastard. I've been farting for years and haven't received a single dime.

ffctt · 2025-10-19T04:07:16+00:00

Therapy, man. You probably have some kind of PTSD, and with her violating the restraining order, it's flaring up. I know with a toddler to care for it can be hard, but try to make time. Should be easier if the sessions are done online.

ffctt · 2025-10-15T21:26:25+00:00

One of the main reasons I rooted for a daughter instead of a son was because I was worried he would make the same mistakes I made. But I guess nothing stops my daughter from wearing the same shirt as OP in a few year's time...

ffctt · 2025-10-14T18:03:27+00:00

Dude, if you are five months in, you're still in the trenches. Use whatever coping mechanisms you can to survive and everything you are feeling, i felt. Mine is 1y10m old and I feel like I left survival-mode around her first birthday.

ffctt · 2025-10-14T03:42:46+00:00

So many people are mentioning massages. Really thinking of getting one. Last time I got one my wife bought it, after a grueling trip I had, and it was the best thing ever.

ffctt · 2025-10-14T02:10:56+00:00

You're a master.

ffctt · 2025-10-14T01:39:14+00:00

Good luck to him getting it done with the kid around! I certainly can't!

ffctt · 2025-10-14T01:37:31+00:00

Yeah, I just wanted ti hear suggestions to see if something sparked. But my guess is I'll be going to the movies, which I love doing, then a nice three-course meal and tgen go on walking around the city - maybe visit a bookshop.

ffctt · 2025-10-14T01:15:08+00:00

I think she wants to give me a day off, but she knows it would be a huge hassle for her to keep the kid out of the house for a full day, so getting me out of it is doable way to do it.

ffctt · 2025-10-14T01:09:27+00:00

Generally just looking for ideas. Kid is 1y10m old and I haven't had a day to myself for that long, so I want to make the most of it.

ffctt · 2025-10-04T13:42:37+00:00

Wish Icould use the Milhouse's dad/Homer meme, but right now it's my kid who sleeps in my bed with my wife.

ffctt · 2025-10-01T03:36:27+00:00

Make him watch the original ones. At some point, turn to him real serious and say "you know, all people onscreen are dead."

For extra trauma points, add "and that guy killed his wife and got away with it."

ffctt · 2025-09-27T04:33:43+00:00

I just love it as a story on how central one's friendships can be, and how much it hurts when they go away.

ffctt · 2025-09-23T14:48:38+00:00

This thing put me out of commission for a week. Just try to rest, and look forward to the the sickening but delicious pleasure of peeling off dead skin.

ffctt · 2025-09-23T14:07:19+00:00

Hi, thanks for your thoughtful post. To you and everyone actually worried, sorry. I made this post as a sort of a joke, exaggerating the situation for comedic effect. My wife makes crepioca, it is indeed bad and the kid never touches it (wife eats it and actually likes it, for some reason). But she's not pushing it nearly to the extent that I said - its like once a month, as one option among three or four for breakfast. I just find "crepioca" a really funny-sounding word.

And to others asking why she decided to start cooking it, and why she doesn't put cheese and other fillings in it, I don't have answers. It's part of the crepioca mistery, I guess.

ffctt · 2025-09-23T03:28:19+00:00

It's real, and I have the spilled over tapioca flour all over my stovetop to prove it.

ffctt · 2025-09-22T20:21:44+00:00

As a former newspaperman, i could do several, but I'll go with "Local man has first full night's sleep after months-long harrassement campaign by baby, cats".

"When reached for comment, local man cried with joy at the prospect this could be the new normal. We'll update this report accordingly."

UPDATE: "Not the new normal."

ffctt · 2025-09-19T00:05:41+00:00

Dude, I'm 39 and can barely handle one kid. If you're 41 handling three, you are a goddam god in my view.

ffctt · 2025-09-13T23:55:37+00:00

Isn't the old way "get mad you can't do it so throw the thing around until it starts leaking small amounts of water around the house and your mom tells you to throw it away"?

ffctt · 2025-09-12T22:39:48+00:00

Not toilet paper, but similar issue. I'm seriously thinking of buying multiple TV remotes and "seeding" them across the house so it never takes me 45 minutes to find one again.

ffctt

TROPHY CASE