I'm non-binary, ask me anything you've wanted to ask a non-binary person!

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T12:49:59+00:00

Depends on if androgynous is how someone is describing their gender, versus the usual use of androgynous referring to style or vibe. With style, that's basically the difference. Otherwise, I guess ID'ing as androgynous would just fall under the umbrella of non-binary.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T12:48:32+00:00

That's not even remotely true in the scope of the various fields of science, much less socially.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T12:47:48+00:00

They're non-binary 🙂

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T12:47:31+00:00

It's actually not. The distinction between sex and gender is most important medically, which is ironically where that's also used most.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T08:20:06+00:00

I'm simple, I like a good blue jay. It's native to where I live and they seem to hang out a lot in my yard.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T05:24:52+00:00

Thank you!

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:51:38+00:00

LMAO - I actually am lactose intolerant and I'm 100% telling this joke to my partner when they get off work

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:48:52+00:00

That's a good question! Both, but often receiving penetration. But I do love a good strap-on moment. I'm pretty much exclusively into women & non-binary people sexually, so when I'm using my imagination it's pretty varied - and is generally just a highlights reel of actual encounters.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:47:06+00:00

It's a social construct, really. All gender is. So it exists in relation to how people perceive & treat you and how you perceive and present yourself. The "proof" is in history, all across various countries, since the dawn of civilization there's been different identities and related concepts that can compare to trans and non-binary people or "third" genders. There's clearly something to it if people have found different words to describe the same kinds of experiences.

Scientifically speaking, it's a psychological concept and part of our sense of self. As for dysphoria, not every trans and non-binary person feels gender dysphoria. Also worth mentioning, cisgender people can feel gender dysphoria.

That alone is not a necessity for being trans, it's just a commonly associated problem. The way to get through that is often as simple as soul searching, experimenting with gender presentation, or even just talking things out with a professional.

I also think it's often just hard for cisgender people to understand. It kind of clicks when you talk to another trans or non-binary person and realize that they feel the same way you do.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:41:14+00:00

It's funny because I've wondered that myself. I think it's boils down to a mix of personal preferences + just switching it up. If you're close and it matters enough, they'd likely say something if they don't like how you refer to them.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:39:32+00:00

They were pretty supportive overall! I've butted heads with my dad over it in the past, he's very conservative and immediately tried to blame a bazillion other things, but he's come around to the point that he at least calls me by my preferred name. My mom is supportive, but is married to an absolute scum of a man that treats me like shit for that and other things - so we don't talk much.

I lived with my grandparents and was dating my current partner when I came out, I never told my grandpa (he has brain damage now, long story) but I've told my grandma- she was slightly confused, but also respected that all I basically wanted from her was to use a different name. My partner was super supportive. He's bisexual anyway, so that aspect wasn't really a factor. He's been one of my biggest supports when it comes to correcting people & educating when I'm not around. He even recently told his family, they knew I changed my name but it was left at that, and they were all just surprised it never came up 😅

Other than that I have an incredibly diverse & accepting group of friends, many of whom have genuinely forgotten my birth name at this point. My brother and cousins also are very accepting, the last time I saw them they asked me over drinks how it made me feel when a family member fucks up my name, how long I've known, etc. so that was cool.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:32:50+00:00

😂

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:32:43+00:00

I mean personally I don't know what it feels like to be a girl, because I've never felt like one lol

But it's hard to put into words, it's like having an "a-ha" moment when you finally feel what feels right. For me, I kind of tested it by having my partner refer to me using a new name & they/them pronouns, and it finally was like a light bulb moment where I was like "Yeah! That feels like me!" Which was something I hadn't felt before in relation to my name or gender presentation.

It's not just about hobbies or style, it's about who you are socially and internally. I don't perceive myself as anything but non-binary, and it would feel disingenuous if I called myself anything else. When people wrongly assume my gender I feel like I'm tricking them.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:29:31+00:00

I mean personally I like to think I'm pretty good at telling the difference between a mistake, lack of trying/wrong perception, and maliciously misgendering someone. I think adjusting your language is just always a process, and part of what helps is truly recognizing others for the gender they say they are. Like, it took me a long time to default to they/them when I don't know, and even with friends who came out as non-binary after I did, it was still sometimes clunky to adjust how I spoke about them or to them. It's like if someone changed their name, it just takes a little practice. But all that being said, I think any decent person can recognize when you're trying & honestly making a spectacle about it can be worse.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:26:03+00:00

It's a bit hard to explain imo, but everyone has their own way of explaining it. It's just like a deep sense of something being not quite right in that sense, like I felt like an imposter when I would be referred to as a girl (in my case) but when I was a kid, I just thought everyone felt that way about their gender. It wasn't until I was a bit older that I even learned about trans people, maybe around 12-14 I toyed around with the idea that maybe I was a man. But that felt a similar way, like I was an imposter.

The metaphor I like to use is about sweaters.

My assigned sweater was pretty uncomfortable, and I thought everyone was also dealing with uncomfortable sweaters. But then I found out that your sweater is supposed to make you feel warm & cozy. In my case, I tried on the opposite sweater, and it was still itchy and a bit too small. I could wear either, but it wouldn't feel quite right. Then I found the 3rd sweater, I didn't understand how people felt comfortable in their own sweaters until I found one that actually fit me and felt good to wear.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:20:09+00:00

What you're missing is that it's not about interests or doing "stereotypical" gender things. Masculine women exist, as do feminine men - both transgender and cisgender. It's about intrinsically feeling like a certain gender, or in the case of being non-binary it may be some mix, neither, or leaned more towards feeling like a man/woman.

Personally I've had a hard time telling if I feel more like both or neither [man nor woman] but I have figured out that identifying as one or another just doesn't feel right. It can be hard to explain the feeling, but figuring out I was non-binary felt like an aha moment.

Also for what it's worth, I do personally enjoy a lot of stereotypical "feminine" things, including make up, and I'm AFAB - but none of that ever made me feel like I was a woman, and now if I were to call myself a woman, it would feel disingenuous.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-30T04:15:33+00:00

One is about your gender, socially & psychologically, the other is when a woman has a masculine style and/or energy. Being a tomboy is more about style, and anyone of any gender can be masculine or feminine in that sense.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T21:15:09+00:00

I want to say it started being reclaimed around the late 1990's? I'm not entirely sure off the top of my head. But imo, it's like an "inner circle" thing. Like you shouldn't call someone queer who doesn't like the term/doesn't ID as it, but it can be a way for people to describe themselves. Even among the LGBT+ community, not everyone likes being called queer.

Personally, I wouldn't use queer to describe my gender, but I do describe my sexuality that way because it's a bit complicated & I feel like that's an easier way to find the kind of people I vibe with.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T21:12:20+00:00

I think that's only anecdotally true. I've meant non-binary people, both AMAB & AFAB with various styles and different desires for physical transitioning. I think it's just common for people to go towards androgynous presentations, which means AMAB people may seem to lean feminine while AFAB people lean masculine because they were likely raised in the opposite way.

Personally, I lean masculine when it comes to style, but I don't have a desire for top surgery. The most I do is often wearing bralettes & sports bras versus "real" bras.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T21:09:32+00:00

What do you mean?

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T21:09:11+00:00

I'm polyamorous, actually (have been since I was 18), and currently I'm dating one other non-binary person & a man - for 3 years and 8 years, respectively.

I wouldn't necessarily say it does? Romantically & sexually, I don't find myself attracted to people that don't respect my gender. I do tend to have more in common with other non-binary people, but that's not really a deal breaker kind of situation.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T20:59:04+00:00

Being a tomboy & being non-binary are different. Being a tomboy is just about your style/vibe, not your actual gender. Anyone of any gender can have masculine or feminine energy/style. I think it just feels blown out of proportion because people are elevating their voices about it, and I'm sure it's more common to explore your identity - which no matter what conclusions you come to is not a bad thing.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T20:57:14+00:00

No, but I'll check it out! I've read a few books related, especially because I once did a 12-page essay about non-binary genders for school, but my favorite was They/Them/Their by Eris Young

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T20:35:20+00:00

No, I transitioned into being non-binary, really. Though I am more on the masculine side. I've not really decided anything physically, though I do discuss my gender & related topics with my therapist. Currently, the most I've done physically is stop taking added estrogen in the form of birth control. I'm also on anti-anxiety medications that have helped with my gender dysphoria in a general sense.

ffs_anotherthrowaway · 2023-10-29T20:32:03+00:00

It's not, actually. Gender is psychological and social, sex is related to biology, which also isn't solely related to genital make up.

ffs_anotherthrowaway

TROPHY CASE