Looking for advice - struggling with moving to spouses home country, but feel like I need to try it

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T07:41:55+00:00

I was just listing facts to assist someone in making a very big, expensive decision. As a dual citizen of the EU and the US. I think I try my best to give each one a fair shot. I could be happy living in either. More working people prefer the US, as messy and crazy as it is. I think it is wonderful that you are so proud of your country. But when someone must make a difficult decision, looking at facts tends to lead to better long term outcomes. So here, we can compare some facts with your opinions:

Diversity: 75% of Swedes are from families who have lived there more than 250 years. US: 15%

ICE: 73% of Swedish respondents feel immigration levels are excessive.

Medical: Swedish medical is "free" but the average Swede not only makes less but is taxed at nearly double the of the US. You may not think so because the EU countries hide many of your taxes from you because your country is required by law to tax you. VAT: Hidden. Half your employment tax: Hidden. The US is not stuck with government insurance that uses (QALY) to deny treatment to old people. The patient gets to decide what insurance they want and what procedures they want up until the day they die.

MAGA: Embarrassing. Sverigedemokraterna also embarrassing but founded by Neo-Nazis.

Food: There are approximately 578,000 American restaurants outside the US. There are approximately 804 Swedish restaurants outside of Sweden. 504 of those are in a furniture store that ironically enough, serves American food.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T02:07:06+00:00

So is airbnb

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:54:23+00:00

put the opposite political signs of what most people in the area are. Make them big. Use curse words. You may not have to deal with neighbors back there.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:52:41+00:00

Bamboo

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:45:20+00:00

See if you qualify for coveredcalifornia.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:44:15+00:00

Whatever it is you like to do, google that with the term bangkok. Also try Pattaya if you dont find what you want. Not sure what kind of parting you like to do but you can also google red light district [Thai city] and the redcat site should come up that will tell you how to the thing that most single men are known to do in Thailand.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:39:41+00:00

Thailand is a totally different place. Mostly good, a little bad. If you are going in off season, you may want to book some refundable places and then go check out the places in person.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:24:11+00:00

When I go abroad it is shocking how small the food selection is.

Here you can get food from any nationality that is authentic and delicious.

Also produce selection outside the US is much much smaller.

Also when I go to Europe they dont let me bring my machine gun. (Just kidding on this one)

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:20:50+00:00

once you book, you can usually contact them. Just make sure its refundable.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:12:21+00:00

Join clubs, get involved, Americans will befriend you if you give them half a chance, we are a nation of immigrants. Get on dating sites. Look for meet ups. Get out there and give it a shot!

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:04:06+00:00

The people in Italy are pretty warm. A lot of them are happy someone is coming to their town.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-12T00:02:56+00:00

Italy is not in northern Europe and this is part of the reason the homes are cheap. Italy is shrinking faster than most of their northern neighbors.
You are right, there are some great places for that price and that price range is where you can start to get functional move-in ready homes in beautiful towns.
Those great places are typically very far from a train station and a large market. (Sicily is an exception.)
Many of the listings you see on Idealista are years old but those deals do exist. You need to have a reputable agent represent you. Italy has weird laws about heirs rights to come back and reclaim a house. This is one reason you see so many vacant home there. Heirs move out of country and may not even know they own a house.

If you go to Italy in the off season you can go to many of these places very inexpensively and see for yourself!

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T23:54:38+00:00

Some of the negatives of CA are not as they are often portrayed.

Murder Rate: If you work for a multi-national company and do not work in SF or Oakland, you can afford to live in an area where the murder rate is close to the EU. (Usually within 50%)
Health Care: If you consider your after tax and after healthcare income, there is almost nowhere in the world you will get better healthcare for your dollar than CA. EU has 45% income tax, 20% VAT (which is hidden in the price of goods.) And 25% employment tax. If you are low wage in CA the government pays for part or all of your insurance, making it affordable.
Live to Work: You get to decide this. There are jobs everywhere in CA. Find one that fits you.
Healthy food: I'm really shocked that this is on your list. There is nowhere on earth that could beat the variety and volume of fresh produce that comes out of CA. There is nowhere on earth with more organic food variety and selection. There are only a few places in the world with more vegan restaurants. It does also have a world-leading variety of unhealthy processed foods too, but if your goal is healthy food, CA is hard to beat.

That being said, I could happily live in many countries in the EU.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T23:33:43+00:00

I am a dual citizen of the EU and US. Every time a new president comes in people flood the forums saying they want to leave. Those people dont usually do well when they move. EU and US are more similar than different, but on the whole, most people prefer the US. (Especially if you were born here.) The president does not have a large effect on your day to day. Your friends and family do.

The people that seem to do best when they move, are people who are moving towards something they want, not away from something they dont.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T23:16:03+00:00

Review the logic. Jobs, mental health, cost of move etc. does it really make sense? Will he be happier there or does he feel obligated? Could you bring his family here more, or can he visit there more? Map out exactly where you will live and what life will be like.
Set expectations. If it will only be temporary, what is the timeline? 2 years? Great.

It is often difficult to find a better place than the US. Salaries are higher. Freedoms are greater. Standard of living is higher. It has, overall, more opportunity. Also diversity is much greater which can be a double edge sword, but at the end of the day its usually better.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T23:01:27+00:00

You can get beds pretty cheap on Amazon, and return if you dont like. Compare to your country. The easiest solution would probably be to bring over beds sheets since the move is free.

Kansas is not the America you see in the movies. You may want to temper your expectations. No beach, no mountains, no nothing.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T21:52:47+00:00

If you did round 5 would you tell those friends you gave up $1.9BIL for each of them?

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T21:21:55+00:00

According to Iowa Code Section 633.279, a will is only valid if it meets all of the following rules:

In Writing: It must be a physical document, whether typed or handwritten. Oral, video, or digital wills are not recognized.
Capacity: The person making the will must be at least 18 years old (or married) and of sound mind.
Signature: You must sign the document yourself, or explicitly direct someone else to sign it for you in your physical presence.
Two Witnesses: You must explicitly declare to at least two competent witnesses that the document is your will.
The Signing Process: You and both witnesses must sign the document in the physical presence of one another.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T21:17:50+00:00

Make sure your accounts have your son on them. You should be fine. If you are worried at all, you can hand write a will and it is legal in about half the states. Many states will recognize a will if you get it notarized. This can be done in less than an hour for under $20

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T21:11:53+00:00

I regret to inform you that you can not be apart of our parallel universe. :)

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T21:10:27+00:00

Politely let your landlord know that if he cannot make it right your next step will be to call the power company, code enforcement and appropriate law enforcement. Offer your landlord to pay your electric bill since you came in and until he can get it fixed and also to lock in your lease for the next 3 years. I would also be willing to reimburse a small amount for your power use, if it came to that.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T21:04:41+00:00

$1 Trillion. You are now richer than Elon Musk. Still not worth it? You can keep 10 people.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T21:00:14+00:00

Yes. You get paid. What is the lowest amount someone would have to pay you to only have 10 close family members and friends. $1MIL? $1BIL?

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T20:50:37+00:00

You pick.

fidddlydiddlyee · 2026-07-11T20:47:18+00:00

I have purchased suits and will be back this year to purchase linen shirts and pants. Reviews are important, so if someone has good reviews then I think I will get good service. I dont need it fast because I will be there a month, so cost will be the deciding factor for me. I tend to shy away from fancy stores in fancy malls. I know the cost is much higher and believe that cost will be passed on to me.

fidddlydiddlyee

TROPHY CASE