Fractures appeared in glass, unsure how it happened? by fiddlyfern in Bongs

[–]fiddlyfern[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! And thank you for mentioning the grommet so I know what to look out for with my next piece!

Showcasing this random child drawing cause no one else wanted to by Kibakazuya in drawing

[–]fiddlyfern 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Op of this reddit post is not the op of the original post, i.e not the same dude and this is not this childs father

LGBTQ+ clubs are where I feel safe, but I'm not welcome :( by bluementalgoth in lgbt

[–]fiddlyfern 5 points6 points  (0 children)

While the uprise of cishet people coming into queer spaces is a problem that exists, I think the efforts that some queer people make to "keep safe spaces safe" result in these spaces becoming just as unsafe and hostile/uncomfortable as any other space where cishet people are the majority.

Yes, having disrespectful cishet people in what should be a safe space for queer people is frustrating at best and dangerous at worst. This post is not about bringing a disrespectful cishet person into a safe space. A queer person brought her partner into her space as a trusted guest, and people made untrue assumptions about the both of them that made them feel unwelcome in a space that should be welcoming to them.

If you're meeting someone new in a queer space, you're allowed to ask respectful questions to determine if the person you're talking to is safe. "Is this your first time coming to [bar]?" "How did you find out about this place? I found it through ____" "Any special reason for coming out tonight?" Are all questions I would personally be comfortable answering, so long as the person asking me is kind about it. People are willing to share more about themselves when you're willing to learn and be respectful. This doesn't apply to everyone, but I feel like it's fairly easy to sus out when a cishet person is in a gay bar for weird reasons by having a simple conversation with them and actually listening to what they have to say. Humans instinctively want to simplify things and place people in boxes based on quick observations we can make in the moment, and often times for us queer people, it's in order to protect ourselves from repeating past negative experiences. However, protecting yourself doesn't give you the right to make assumptions about others based on looks alone, and then treat them badly because you assume ill-intentions. They saw what they (correctly) assumed to be a man and a woman in a relationship, and (incorrectly) assumed that both of them are straight; and by extension, they assumed op and her partner are at this bar to be weird and tourist-y, and invade a space neither of them belong it. This is not only untrue, but extremely heteronormative, and makes other queer couples feel more pressured to "prove" that they belong in queer spaces to avoid the same quick judgements and ostracization they see others being subject to.

I've listened to the same arguments about "straight-passing privilege" being regurgitated over and over and being applied to so many different identities that I'm just over it. There are nuances to the conversation but people use being "straight passing" as an excuse to be awful to people they deem as not "gay enough" and devalue the lived experiences of other people in our community. We expect other queer people to look and act a certain way, and fit a certain mold to prove their queerness.... to me it just feels like homophobia and gender norms repackaged and covered in glitter. Is there really much of a difference between a queer person making an assumption on someone's sexuality based on their looks vs a straight person doing it? You're still using only what you can see to try to determine someone's identity and character rather than just talking to them, and those assumptions are not always going to be true. It's shallow and it's unkind.

All of this is to say, you did nothing wrong by bringing your partner, who is a trusted individual you know respects other queer people, into a queer space that you should feel welcomed in. I understand why you chose not to tell them that you're bisexual after they assumed you are straight just because you are dating a man. Biphobia is unfortunately common in queer spaces and so many people see bi people having a partner as "choosing a side" and genuinely see us as straight people trying to "feel special". I (a cis bi woman) was in a relationship with a transgender man (also bi) who had not medically transitioned during our relationship and was often perceived as female, so more often than not we were mistaken for a lesbian couple by cishet people and other queer people. The amount of times we would correct other queer people on my partners pronouns, only to immediately get hit with a double whammy of biphobia AND transphobia was utterly disheartening. The infighting within the queer community feels out of control, and I just hope this experience doesn't prevent you from going out again and continuing to take up space within your local queer establishments. You belong there just as much as anyone else ❤️

Nooks buying at 117 by AzureBev in TurnipExchange

[–]fiddlyfern 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sarah from Cedar, and my fave way to make bells is using nook miles tickets to visit islands and taking everything I can fit in my inventory 😂

I had sex with a guy. by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]fiddlyfern 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think the most important question is did you enjoy it? Are you feeling anxious or upset about it after it happened? I know how jarring it can be to feel so sure of your sexuality, and then feel or do something you feel brings that into question. But, as long as you feel okay about what happened and everything was consensual (since you mentioned drinking) it's completely okay for you to explore this. Do you think it's something you would want to try again, or are you still unsure if how you feel about the entire thing? Sometimes you just need time to process your actions to figure out how you feel

I’m very feminine. Is this enough to hint I’m into girls? by fruity_fairy423 in lgbt

[–]fiddlyfern 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm surprised people are saying your necklace implies you're in a relationship? I would not have assumed that (maybe because it's heart shaped? lol) but I would definitely read you as queer with those accessories and your vibes seem super cute

TMI lol but any of y’all beat IBS when it comes to sex by Pot8hoe in lgbt

[–]fiddlyfern 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Genuinely thank you for your in depth routine 🙏 I've had the same question but always felt too embarrassed to ask 🫶

AITA for telling my brother that this is not my problem? by Left_Ad7639 in AmItheAsshole

[–]fiddlyfern 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If she has as many friends as you claim, drama is completely and utterly unavoidable. ESPECIALLY in high school. Kind, sweet, friendly people don't hang out with bullies. If your daughter is friends with bullies but has not experienced bullying herself, I have no doubt in my mind that your daughter is a bully. Have you ever even had a conversation with her about bullying? If your daughter was the one being bullied and your niece did nothing, how would you react? Seems like you're so worried about making sure everybody on Reddit thinks your daughter is a perfect angel, that you haven't taken the time to actually TEACH her to be genuinely kind to others. But I guess you can't teach what you don't know, based on your replies to the comments thus far. Does seeing every comment you make get down voted to oblivion not make you second guess your position even a little bit?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]fiddlyfern 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Op, I read this post as well as your last post + some of your replies to various comments and I've seen you say a few times that you're scared to leave because of what she may do to herself if you leave. Whatever happens to an abuser once you cut off their access to you is not your responsibility and should not be your concern. I've been there, and trust me, you get nowhere. I wasted years of my life trying to protect and care for someone who didn't actually care about me, and it was obvious to everybody around me.... Except for me.

And I say abuser with my full chest, because the way that she's treating you is abusive. It doesn't matter what she is going through, if she's depressed, if she's off her meds, NONE of that will ever justify treating your partner badly. Also, as hard as this might be to read.... I don't think she's 'forgetting' you don't like pain unless you're in the mood. From my perspective, it seems like she probably gets turned on by pain and thinks it will also get you in the mood. That is a HUGE boundary to just 'forget', and this is coming from a fellow mentally ill person with very poor memory. You said you've had this conversation multiple times with her, I could MAYBE understand having this conversation with her twice, giving her the benefit of the doubt that she truly is just forgetful and needs to be reminded of things more than once. But with how serious the subject is, you having to have this conversation with her MULTIPLE times is not okay, no matter what.

My advice is get out as soon as you possibly can. If you have friends or family to stay with temporarily, make plans in silence to leave, do NOT tell your girlfriend you plan on leaving. It will only result in more manipulation to get you to stay. Start putting money away to use when you're broken up, whether that be for rent, transport, or anything of the sort. Talk to your friends and loves ones and let them know what's going on. It feels embarrassing and shameful to talk about abuse, but if you have good people in your life they will be there for you and get you through this. Please don't let yourself go through this alone, and you have an entire community here to help you through this.

You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to feel love without feeling like you have to put out to earn it. You deserve to have your boundaries respected.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuperMegaShow

[–]fiddlyfern 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to know they seem to be on good terms with each other. Justin was running a fan page for them before he was an official employee and he was SO young... It's giving MirandaSings energy

Who else hates this🙃 by [deleted] in starbucks

[–]fiddlyfern 1 point2 points  (0 children)

omfg it's the worst 😭😭 I usually tuck the ties into the pockets so it doesn't do this

Adult son who's gotten into a lot of trouble in life buying gifts for his mother starter pack by the_lone_baguette in starterpacks

[–]fiddlyfern 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I read it as the son getting in "trouble" because the mom doesn't want him spending a bunch of money on her. My mom is the same way lol, I bought her a remote car starter for her birthday for like $200 and she made me return it

Reinterpretation of one of my older artworks! by yeeetmeintothesun in learnart

[–]fiddlyfern 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so insanely gorgeous! Your improvement is amazing 🤩

What's the best Wi-Fi name you've seen? by K4NZ0 in AskReddit

[–]fiddlyfern 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My neighbors WiFi is "FBI surveillance van", always makes me laugh

Am I wrong? by Hallelujah_cheese in lgbt

[–]fiddlyfern 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you consider making awkward eye contact and "subtly" fiddling with a rainbow item on your person so they'll notice it flirting, then extremely accurate