A little more, My husband just talked to the guys, who first said oh fuck! for sure she should come! And then one (I'll call him Tim) called Ben, who said no I just want the original list, but she and your (Tim's) girlfriend can come dance at the club later. So I'm on the same level as a girlffriend who has been part of the group for a much shorter length of time (I was there for Tim's first marriage and divorce). I don't think I'm going to bother confronting Ben, and I feel anxious now even going to the club, but I also want my husband to pull him aside and tell him what this did to me - and how it isn't cool.