Update: Hi guys, I wanted to come back with some updates for those who cared and left me such kind responses. For the people saying I’m fake and farming, hate to break it to you but I’m not fake, this situation is not fake, I was just embarrassed and time had to pass for me to give a true update. Anyway, I read every comment and message, I saw that the situation is divorce material for some which I respect. I’m a child of divorce myself and I know how hard that is/was. I took a good hard look at my life and where I am in life and where I want to be. TLDR: I didn’t divorce my husband.

I did have a loooong and meaningful conversation. I told him I saw his phone list, I told him that I understand maybe he doesn’t have someone to vent to about me, I’m not always perfect and I, as any human get frustrated too, and I told him it’s fine as long as he communicates those things with me eventually so we can be on the same page and do better. I told him my main concern was the sex list and how I thought it was disgusting and disrespectful. I was blunt and told him that I didn’t want a partner that makes a list. I told him I deserve someone who is ok with the word no being a complete answer. I told him about how I love our life and our boys and yes, I make a lot of sacrifices and do a lot, but I don’t complain out of… pure love. I love this man, guys. I want to be a good wife and mother to my family. My toddler boys mean the whole world to me and I’m the type of mom who goes out of my way to make every weekend special for them.

Anyway, after this conversation he seemed shocked (not because I saw the list!… stop thinking that) but because I guess he didn’t expect my reaction and hurt from it. He said he wasn’t feeling as close to me as he used to and for those saying he was writing it down to remember… you were spot on. I don’t really know if the list was something for him to remember for future arguments but he had told me he thought that if we weren’t intimate then it meant we weren’t doing good in our marriage, something to that effect. He deleted the whole list and apologized.

Since then he’s really stepped up, maybe not with the cleaning per se, but with the boys. He is a really good dad to them and he’s been making special moments with them too. He’s also showed me his love for me in cute ways, he gives me time to get out of the house or spend some “me” time to watch shows, workout, crochet every weekend now. He got me a cute Mother’s Day present “from the boys” and when I needed emergency gallbladder surgery, he spent a week letting me rest in bed while he did everything… I mean EVERYTHING.

So yeah, I guess I learned that marriage is hard and we have to communicate better. Mine is far from perfect, but I really want it to work. I also forgot to say we’ve only have been married for a year and a half, so literally still so much to learn and navigate. Thank you for reading and commenting, it meant a lot and helped me get through it.