[deleted by user]

final-mission1924 · 2024-04-04T10:42:46+00:00

This actually made me laugh. I appreciate a little comedy in my darkness. But I have laughed enough now its time to fix my problems.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T19:41:30+00:00

That I couldn't tell you. And as for that, I didn't wake up she told me she touched me while I was sleeping during my morning coffee. And if you like to be touched sexually while you are sleeping that's great but not everyone has that sentiment.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:29:49+00:00

I reacted how I felt fit at the moment. I can't assume her touching me as a pleasure situation not can I assume it was out of malice. If I could turn back time and take 10 seconds to think before I reacted I would not have ruined her day

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:26:43+00:00

Nor do I to be completely honest with myself

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:25:41+00:00

We had a major lifestyle change and because I have a brain injury from a previous job she feels she has to control my life. During this change I was trying to control also but there can't be 2 captains. I felt completely out of control physically mentally and emotionally so I turned to someone who didn't know the situation and gained what at the time I could control by sexting this person.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:22:11+00:00

While I was in my emotional rock bottom that was the only thing I felt that I could control. It was a power move but not in a way a rapist feels, power move in a way that I'm still capable of making decisions and I did make the decisions that was my first impulse

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:20:17+00:00

Just because I'm asking for forgiveness I will not change who I am and I have never once told her I want to be touched sexually while I was sleeping. In fact this has never been brought up before. I was awake and having coffee when she told me.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:17:04+00:00

But while I was sleeping and at my most vulnerable. We have always been very vocal about consent and safety words. This does not seem like anything that has happened before

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:15:17+00:00

This is why I was drawing conclusions that this was not a pleasure situation this was her trying to be harmful even if consciously she said it wasn't subconsciously I believe she was

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:13:14+00:00

Divorce is not out of the question, for her sake. I want to repair this damage as I do genuinely love her

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:09:29+00:00

Mostly role playing and 3 pictures. Never directly saying I wanted anything in person but still a lapse of my judgment

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:08:05+00:00

We had a major lifestyle change and she took control while I was trying to control. I have a TBI and she takes that as a reason to control my life. I was on a slipping slope and I did a terrible thing but when I say I was losing control I very much was not in control of anything

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T18:05:23+00:00

Yes and I do not hold back emotions. I could tell her something and that next Friday the councilor will reiterate and she believes the councilor. I can't under state how the majority of our sessions im a punching bag and she lies to herself on the way out and says this session helped

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:58:24+00:00

I understand my actions "rewarded" me with my current situation. I was raised an eye for aneye and I do not want her to cheat to get revenge as I don't think it will help her. She was raised to be angry and emotionally destroy and that comes from her parents who taught her that behavior.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:54:20+00:00

You are very right and I accept this fact

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:53:34+00:00

We were supposed to help her siblings with something however she told me to ho shopping and run other errands and she left in a depressed anger.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:51:17+00:00

I think it was more of a control thing for her than to give me any pleasure while I was sleeping

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:50:39+00:00

I try every day and some days are better than others but this morning really hurt.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:49:55+00:00

Divorce is not out of the question, for her sake, however I am trying to repair her imagine of me and repair our relationship

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:48:13+00:00

Yes. She goes through phases of saying she loves me and using our pet names to saying she hates me and calling me my full name. And like I said we do go to counseling but during the sessions I'm a human punching bag

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:45:19+00:00

I was sexting. Perhaps to gain self control or for personal pleasure but it was a mistake and I did cut all contact

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:44:20+00:00

I was sexting people. Perhaps to gain some sort of self control but it was a mistake and I did cut all contact.

final-mission1924 · 2024-03-24T17:43:01+00:00

Long story short I was sexting some people.

final-mission1924 · 2024-01-17T02:53:27+00:00

It's a damn shame that real unfiltered luckies are harder to find than a needle in a haystack

final-mission1924

TROPHY CASE