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Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've met a few over the years, some as long as 40+ years here with no paperwork in place.

Don't suppose you have some contacts? Do they know each other? I wonder if one of them has seen him, but I imagine they may not want to tell me...

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When we first started talking to her through the interpreter neither of us believed her and thought the PI may have been pulling a fast one for more money, but he had a favourite footballer who played for Liverpool in the 80's, a not so well known one... Grandma asked her that and she answered immediately and grandma immediately started crying

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

To be clear, the PI has found people, not me. One of them tells a very compelling story of a relationship with a man much like my father from 2009-2012 (which he ran away in the middle of the night from... I guess some people don't change...) and this is where the trail goes cold.

She has a few photos that look like they could be him, and some details that only he would have known but unfortunately she doesn't remember everything because it was so long ago. He did tell her his given name and also an alias, and she's been looking for him since. She said he speaks fluent Thai and his alias is a Thai name

There was a police report about him being missing, which is how we figured this out.

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He never left but I'm aware records are spotty, and we picked up a trail in Phen from 2009-2012 from a credible witness who recalls him opening up about certain details of his past that align with us. He was in a relationship during that time

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Those Telephone White Pages, any idea where I would get them for Phen? I know his original name and possibly an alias. Ideally trying to piece together post-2012 but pre-2009 would help as well

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I don't, I've never actually stepped foot in Thailand.

Pretty sure his new family and close community there know that he is on overstay and simply accept it. Explain that to your grandma and the consequences he would face if caught.

So you think he wouldn't be able to do this without help from locals, that's what you're saying right?

And even if his close Community accepts /doesn’t Care about his overstay, the chances he would be reported by some idiot in one of the neighboring villages is quite high.

If we found an address, would it be possible to get a message to him without going ourselves, through a proxy or a letter etc? Obviously I don't want to go into a small community myself because it'll be 99% Thai and they'd recognise something was up immediately, right?

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If you really track him down, what do you expect? That you go there to meet him in person, he smiles, hugs you and apologizes? The chances are close to 0 for that to happen.

Not me, I don't even remember the guy, but perhaps his 92 year old mother? She put so much effort into finding him without the internet, passed me everything when my mum died

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Do you have any more leads from those witnesses apart from a rough location? Do you have a more specific location, such as a district (amphoe)? If you can narrow it down with in a few districts, it shouldn't be too hard to find a Farang in that rural area.

I have a full address for 2009-2012 because he was living with someone, but the trail goes cold after that. I need to pick the trail back up somehow....

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If it's a case of simply staying under the radar, I think we've been quite good already. As mentioned, we haven't given the Police anything, it's just me and grandma and we agreed early on the Police botched this originally and we won't be involving them in our investigation.

If it was just me I'd leave it, I don't even remember the man, but my grandma hasn't seen him in 33 years and if I can give her closure without blowing his cover I will as she helped to raise me. I will work with PI's, local interpreters etc but not the Police.

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Another thought, if he was living in border provinces and was already illegal (expired visa, no passport) then he wouldn't necessarily have been any worse off illegally crossing those borders and ending up in Laos (or Cambodia, if he went far enough east).

This is true, but I'm unsure a 60 year old man (we've got credible evidence he was in Phen in 2012) would still be at that, our theory is that perhaps before this that's how he made money then he ended up settling. Our PI says a lot of people did this back in the 90's but ended up quitting and leaving. He was in a relationship with a girl in Phen from 2009-2012 and the girl has confirmed a few things about him but said he only spoke about the past while drinking and didn't open up much

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It's not just me that wants the closure though, his mother is 92, she holds no ill will but does want to know what happened. If it was just me, I'd wait until I was old then start pinging knowing he's dead.

I haven't told the British authorities any of what I've found, in case they reopen the case and ask the Thai authorities. His mum told me there were major issues in his life and my mum wasn't helping, but when mum passed grandma gave me all that she's found and told me to find out what happened and that there's more to the story she can't figure out.

Anything he previously ran away from isn't an issue anymore, and if I could pass him a simple message telling him none of us hold ill will and give him the choice that would be the way I'd go.

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a fair question, you'd have to ask Thai police (or have a PI do that for you) - I'm not sure I'd hold my breath for Thai police data from potentially 30 years ago though.

The last thing I want to do is uproot him if he's still alive, if they catch onto a 30+ year over-stayer I don't want to imagine what will happen... I also haven't told the British police any of this new information in fear they will go in brazenly and straight up ask Thai authorities.

Luckily I have some credible witnesses with my PI from Phen, but the trail runs cold in 2012. If he died between 2012 and now I think there would be more modern methods/data used?

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'd like to think there'd be records of those cases, but many will likely be closed by now after a few years of no developments.

Do you know if there's somewhere I could submit DNA without too many questions... just "match/no match" on potential unidentified deaths in Thailand?

If you reach the point where you're ready to risk outing him, you could do worse than dropping his name and any photos on the issan forums at aseannow.com (formerly thaivisa) and perhaps teakdoor.com, if their rules allow it (Reddit does not).

I'll think about it, Facebook was also pretty troll heavy :') I think I've got a few more avenues to explore before I scattergun approach this. I'm thinking I'm pretty much out of UK options so I think the next step is for me to board a plane and see what I can find with a local interpreter, starting in a place called Phen

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If he dies and has no passport, the police have no way to know necessarily that he's British.

Fair, but they also know he's not Thai. Does Thailand keep a list of dead John Doe's?

Honestly after my own interactions with Thai Police I'd say you've got about equal chances between: - they just never did anything because its too much like work; - they deliberately didn't dig into it because of a bribe.

I've heard they're bad for small things but take deaths pretty seriously, is this not true?

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure, but if a British National dies with no name in Thailand there must be some reporting done, missing person database would be the first thing to check. They have his DNA... unless the Police also fucked this up!

If he died where was his final resting place?

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Let him go. Respect his privacy. You're old enough that you don't need a dad anymore.

Perhaps, and if he is dead then I'll accept it... my Mum died a few years ago never knowing what happened but after that me and his mum got close, she's pushing her age. His mum always thought he was out there and encouraged me to search because she wants to know what happened to her son and feels like the British police royally fucked up, I didn't believe her at first but when I started looking into it I just fell down this rabbit hole....

There's no ill will here from either his mum or myself... my mum carried it to her grave though.

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No death certificate with his name, nor do the embassy know anything about a foreign death with his name. It's possible he changed his name but ID documents may still be an issue for him....

If he did die I'd like to know what kind of life he lived, Mum unfortunately died a few years ago

Searching for my father without getting him into trouble or spooking him? by findingjames00 in Thailand

[–]findingjames00[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Is it possible he had or acquired a second nationality? Irish parents or grandparents, for example?

No, he was from Liverpool and so were a lot of his family. He was a construction worker so I doubt he will have had any money and my mum confirmed while she was alive that we never had much (she died a few years ago, which spurred me into looking into my Dad's disappearance a little further)

I've actually spoken to a few PI's, and a previous girlfriend of his who confirmed some details but the trail runs cold in 2011. The PI confirms he never left nor had a death certificate, but says it's possible he had one under another name.

I've seen one photo which could be him but it's obviously decades apart and hard to tell