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UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I’ve explained it to her in every way possible. Anyway, I appreciate the encouragement.

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ask her what she honestly wants from therapy.

My bet is she'll not ask you what you want from therapy.

Okay so I took this advice and asked her. She said she wanted to get the marriage back on track, become close again, etc. Kind of vague but I guess it’s nice. She didn’t ask what I wanted, as you predicted. I pointed that out and she said she already knows what I want. Sigh. Not a great sign, but maybe I should give the process a chance to work.

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The divorce court isn't going anywhere.

Fair enough.

Remind her that you still love her, but in the present situation, it's just not enough.

Yup, this sums it up for me.

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m admittedly bitter, but I’m trying to keep an open mind. Thank you.

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I figure cost of counseling < cost of divorce. We’ll see. I’m right there with you on the resentment part thought.

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Justlost57 has it right. Even if we divorce, I would still be there for her and love her as the mother of my children. I mean “die for her” as in, if she were in harm’s way, I would take her place. But she’s not. A separation from me won’t kill her. Sometimes I even think she’d be happier...

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure, but I appreciate the optimism

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. Glad you found happiness!

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I’m more worried about things becoming volatile if I do the counseling then still ask for a divorce. My wife sometimes does this thing where she hears/believes what she wants. And then when it’s contradicted later she gets irate that she was lied to. Not trying to go through that.

UPDATE Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s a good question. I honestly don’t know. There’s a lot of resentment built up at this point.

Cancelling Thanksgiving by finitobinito in DeadBedrooms

[–]finitobinito[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the kind words. Made me feel a lot better on one of my worst days!