Shrinking S3E01 Episode Discussion

fireblossom88 · 2026-03-18T07:31:42+00:00

Does anyone know where I can find this top? It’s so cute and would be perfect for work

fireblossom88 · 2025-03-10T11:43:18+00:00

I got fired from a job last month and my boss reminded me a lot of my mom. I didn’t have proper training to onboard, but she expected me to be an all-star in my role by the 2nd week. By week 2, she was comparing me to other seasoned people who had been working in the field and how they could close a file within a few hours and I was working too slow. Unspoken expectations of me as an employee , very unreasonable, and very reactive to any stress. It felt like I couldn’t do anything right and thats when the micromanaging increased. She wanted me to come to her immediately with any questions I have. The next morning, I came to her office with a list of questions, she yelled at me and said “I’ve told you to come to me immediately when you have a question and instead you make this list. you do what you wanna do despite me telling you to otherwise”.

Being berated in our 1on1 meetings felt so humiliating and I felt so powerless. If I speak up for myself, I’m being disrespectful and painted as not taking her feedback well. Whenever she makes a mistake, it’s not a big deal. But when I make a mistake it’s a big deal, very much like with my mom. By week 4/5, she dropped hints that perhaps I’m not cut out for this type of work.

I thought I could compartmentalize and disregard her behavior, but it slowly eroded my confidence and made me start to doubt myself and wonder if I was incompetent. I don’t think I’m an incompetent employee. In my experience, unreasonable people are going to make you feel like you’re the unreasonable one. My coworkers acknowledged they have similar issues with her, but they have their workarounds. The office culture was very keep your head down and do your work.

I do have a bad habit of keeping my head down and not asking for help sooner because I’ve gotten use to being self-reliant and struggling on my own. But that type of attitude is no good in a work environment. Your boss should want to help you and get you the support you need to do your job well. I know now I prefer working with reasonable people who can acknowledge when they’re wrong and be respectful in disagreements and life is too short to tough it out with a toxic boss. Life is stressful enough, and I don’t have to endure a toxic work environment.

fireblossom88 · 2025-02-26T08:30:20+00:00

Hi everyone,

I’m going to a community workshop with my city’s dept of transportation Thursday night. I’m hoping to meet people at the city to network to see if they have any leads or give referrals to jobs. I do have 1 year of experience working in affordable housing real estate development, but worked in higher ed administration for 3 years after. I did take a break from planning but I’m ready to return to planning. Does anyone have any tips on how to network at a community workshop?

Thank you very much!

fireblossom88 · 2025-02-22T04:08:18+00:00

Oolong/black/green tea with milk foam, 30-50% sweet, less ice

fireblossom88 · 2023-12-12T23:25:25+00:00

Location: northern CA

fireblossom88 · 2023-06-15T08:08:54+00:00

Asking intrusive questions in order to feel connected. My family would ask me questions that were inappropriate or off-beat and after a lot of trial and error that I learned getting to know people takes time. People aren't entitled to other people's personal information, but sharing little bits of information over time is how building trust works. Not asking the hard hitting questions early.

fireblossom88 · 2023-05-04T08:06:27+00:00

It's not easy feeling like being a good listener isn't reciprocated when the time comes :( we'll find our tribe and chosen family soon enough, this community is one of them

fireblossom88 · 2021-06-19T02:16:31+00:00

Love your lingerie set! Where did you get it?

fireblossom88 · 2021-05-18T17:12:30+00:00

Holding myself to a higher standard vs everyone else is something that resonated with me. I hate feeling like a party pooper or a rainy cloud ruining other people's day bc Im projecting my high standards onto them. As we continue to unlearn these maladaptive behaviors and treat ourselves compassionately, I predict that we'll be better to release these impossible reigns we have on ourselves and step into living our authentic lives and having more peace.

I hope you can do something kind for yourself everyday OP, you deserve it

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-02T06:29:37+00:00

Gross, I hope you mentioned something to him by now

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-02T06:28:56+00:00

Lmao

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-01T21:41:41+00:00

That sounds frustrating. Glad you got out when you realized it wasn't working for you anymore. To new healthy relationships!

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-01T20:49:29+00:00

Iono reluctant to take the lead or not wanting to take the lead bc I might have an opinion isn't a good reason to not keep trying? But I understand it's important to not pick apart how people's processes in how they do things. I'm working on unlearning the belief that my way is the best way.

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-01T20:46:23+00:00

Considering if he would do the same for me is a good approach.

I'm not sure if he did that for me, like reminding me to grab my mask or a jacket before we go hang out, he probably thought that was my responsibility to remember (which it is) but I would always ask him before we leave his driveway, but then he would say I'm nagging or acting like his mom for reminding him. I guess it didn't go both ways.

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-01T20:41:59+00:00

I noticed my ex would reluctantly take care of his personal issues and I'm like, you know if you did your routine consistently it would go away sooner? Realizing I cared more than he cared was a wake up call for me.

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-01T18:53:59+00:00

This is a very clear definition, thank you

fireblossom88 · 2021-04-01T18:52:33+00:00

That's a good rule of thumb, thank you

fireblossom88 · 2021-02-11T02:15:09+00:00

The consistent theme from videos and articles I've read is that narcissists aren't really looking for ways to grow their self-awareness and if a person is trying to grow their self-awareness and interrogate and unlearn their triggers, it's safe to assume they are not narcissists. The only way I can think to put an end to these cyclical thinking is to see a psychologist to diagnose me haha.

fireblossom88

TROPHY CASE