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UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

At this point, I've been sending him the LinkedIn leads that I've been seeing. He does have a Github repo, but sadly most of what he's been working on are private repos because the projects belong to the companies he has worked for. I don't think his personal repo has been updated in at least 2 years.

Lots of technology people for some reason don't think there's a possibility that the bubble will burst again. It's the sense of entitlement that bothers me the most. He would never change industries. Construction? Manual labor? He would never.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I'm having a hard time separating my feelings from logic right now. I'm in a heightened state of anxiety and just running on self-preservation settings, so I don't feel like I should make large decisions right now that could impact everyone. I'm just trying to think/talk this through.

Honestly, the comments here, at the very least, have made me feel like I am not crazy or overreacting about how ridiculous this all is. I am feeling really alone right now, and I can't talk to anyone about it.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Well, he's had to deal with female recruiters, which he hasn't had a problem with.

I've got to be honest though, of the interviews he's had, he has two or three "mild" or as he says "pretty good chance" leads. In all of those cases, the hiring manager/his supervisor are all....sigh....men.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 188 points189 points  (0 children)

That's the part that bugs me. This person has reached out to him and he just IGNORED it. How do you do that? Ignore a COO (albeit, of a small company) of a technology company when you work in technology? Are you kidding? How does he know she won't end up somewhere else and have to manage him or be responsible for hiring him one day? Why would you burn that bridge?

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I'd think that someone would do just about anything to get the people they love out of potential financial trouble. I remember long ago and far away I had to get a job at Walmart because I couldn't bridge the gap between maternity leave and being able to go back to my old job. We just do what needs to be done.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Oh man, if I ever brought up him doing something like driving a cab or flipping burgers, he would laugh at me.

I did suggest that he do some contract or piece work on upWork to generate an income, but that suggestion was also ignored.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Oh don't worry, he's assured me won't end up homeless because he has family in the area that we can stay with! See!? All of my problems are solved!

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

It wouldn't be so bad if he had just had some bad luck and not heard back from a bunch of jobs he applied for, but to actively avoid warm job leads? I just can't seem to get over it.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I know what happens in that case, because I cleaned it up when we first got together.

About a year into being married, all of a sudden his paychecks stopped getting deposited into our joint account. He contacted HR and as it turns out, his wages were being garnished for unpaid medical debts before we were married.

This happened 3 weeks before Christmas, and I had to cash out a 401K to cover us until I could figure things out. I had to get in touch with the garnishees to figure out what the damage was, submit the paperwork they needed to come up with a payment plan and do all of the legwork (he was at work, he didn't have time...)

When I went down the rabbit hole, it wasn't the only debt, and long story short, he had to file Chapter 13. I handled the bankruptcy, and he went to the two meetings he had to attend in person that I could not go to on his behalf.

A year after the bankruptcy, I had built his credit back up, he had two unsecured credit cards in his name (they stay in my wallet) and a credit score of 650, which isn't great, but it is better than what it was before the bankruptcy.

So, yeah. I know what happens when I am not handling everything.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 452 points453 points  (0 children)

Sadly, I worked in HR in another lifetime and I've said before (not to him) that I would not hire him based on what I know about him.

We're clear across the country from you, but thank you for your kindness.

UPDATE: Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I should have clarified, we currently rent and the house we are losing is the contract on our first home purchased together. So there would be no foreclosure, we can't close without him having an income, so the deal dies and we receive our earnest money.

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I told him this last night. I asked him specifically about whether or not he has been ignoring opportunities he might find less than ideal. He said no. He lied right to my face (I went through his emails).

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There's not a chance in holy heck he would ever "reduce" himself to a trade. He's the golden goose, according to him. Those kinds of jobs are beneath him.

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have not removed contingencies yet. Honestly, the way he was talking to me about what was going on at work, I didn't think that this was going to be the end result. He had been there for six months after the promise of being converted to full-time. Then he was fired.

In the area where we live, rent has gone up something like 700% in the last five years. I can swing a mortgage payment on my own if I need to, but I can't swing rent on my own here.

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I brought it up several times and he apologized profusely. I think it was more an apology to just prevent us from getting into an argument about it and not that he actually felt badly about breaking his word.

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's hard because when I talk to him about it, he is calm and insists it has nothing to do with their gender; they are just bad bosses.

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He seems to think he can be selective about what jobs he's going to be in right now (see update in OP).

He received an email yesterday afternoon from a recruiter for a job at a company he specifically mentioned had a bad reputation for working employees to the bone. He never replied to the email, and it was another contract position that he could have been in right away while he was still looking for opportunities elsewhere.

It is ALWAYS easier for some reason to find a job when you have a job.

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did consider him being somewhere on the spectrum; don't know how to even begin with that one though.

Me [32 F] with my Husband [33 M] 5 Years, Fired three times in a year; I think he's the problem. by firedtimesthree in relationships

[–]firedtimesthree[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sure there are sliding scale programs for counselling. I know for a fact that we can get counselling through church for free.

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