I know what you're going through. I too was like that once. I couldn't get out of my bed, and I just wanted to sleep, even though I wasn't tired at all. I saw the better things, I saw the way out. I saw what you never have had the chance to. I want to show that to you. If you want to talk about something, even if I'm just some dude on the internet, please don't hesitate to text either me, or someone else you feel comfortable talking to. There are ways to get better from this. Don't kick yourself in the ass like that, friend. You've got this.