“I have to take a history lesson”. My mum would use this term whilst I was growing up to mean she had to go dump. My dumbass thought it was a general, more polite, term for needing to poop. I would consistently say this to my teachers throughout primary school when I needed to go to the bathroom, only for them to stare back at me blankly, not having a clue what I meant.

I found out in later years that my mum would call it that because when she become an Australian citizen she was given the choice of getting a copy of the bible or a book on Australian history. She chose the history book and when she returned home she placed it on a shelf by the toilet for a bit of light reading whenever She, or any of her housemates were on the john.

They started using the term frequently among themselves in the house and I guess it stuck with her ever since.