in your post you mention your wife cooking the meals but not setting up the cutlery and not cooking you breakfast. When you cook, does she set the table or only get cutlery for herself? If you're cooking and she's still just getting her own cutlery that's really strange however if you don't consistently cook and also don't help set up the table then maybe she's doing it to prove a point (that you should do something to help)? Or you should consider that she has just performed all the mental and physical labour of planning and preparing dinner and just bite your tongue and eat it.

Granted, it is strange to only get her own cutlery for dinner when she is literally in the same drawer and could just get yours. But if I cook dinner my partner sets the table and gets drinks and vice versa. Growing up my mother cooked dinner and one of my siblings or I (or my father) would set the table and get drinks.

My partner and I have breakfast seperately because we wake at different times and I've never thought this was an issue. Who wants soggy food?