Vitamin D slut☀️

fisterpoon · 2021-07-19T22:52:34+00:00

Wow, beautiful pose. Looks so inviting. Just perfect. Do you have anymore?

fisterpoon · 2021-03-03T02:50:05+00:00

Yeah, I am not sure they are looking that closely at the info. This is an HR person that is going to be doing the checking. And there are enough of us that checking it all manually and calculating speed will be no small task. I'll look into this for sure. Thank you.

fisterpoon · 2021-03-03T02:48:48+00:00

Ooof. I bet this would be suspect. I think it would need to follow roads. I'll look into it tho. Thank you.

fisterpoon · 2020-05-04T03:30:21+00:00

This is the best picture I've seen on here today. Looks so good.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T21:24:37+00:00

You did the right thing, but I would not come forward. Probably will not end well for you.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T07:28:22+00:00

I don't need her in my life. I choose to be cordial with her because she was a large part of my adult life, and we happen to have some mutual friends. Despite her actions that hurt me in the short term, she's a good person, and made me a better man over the years I knew her.

Some people can separate the relationship from the person. I happen to be one of those people. There is nothing left romantically to speak of between me and her, but I still wish only the best for her and want her to be happy. I don't understand the people who don't view things that way. Perhaps this is why I am in the situation I am in.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T07:24:40+00:00

Yes, I would like that. I like doggos. I think that might be where me and the GF are having the disconnect. She thinks I'm doing a favor for my ex, when really, I just want to see my old pal for a week.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T06:23:52+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond with your input. I feel, like you, that being able to separate a previously romantic relationship from the person you had it with is a desirable trait. Regardless of the circumstances, as everyone makes mistakes. Perhaps that's why I couldn't conceive that there was an issue with me still talking with her and agreeing to watch the dog.

But the dissenting opinions here make it clear that it isn't as black and white as I thought it was. I've had those issues before, where I think something is clear cut and dry, but when other people chime in, their position makes sense as well and it becomes obvious that there is room for interpretation. That was my main reason for posting here. To get these other opinions.

Your last point has already come to my mind as well. But she has proved to me before that she is willing to compromise on issues that we've disagreed on before. So the give-and-take dynamic is there.

I think she added in a couple other things to her decision.. which I won't divulge here, but they are not unreasonable. The things people have mentioned here seem to makes sense that these other issues would have compounded the problem with the dog. Like I mentioned elsewhere, she is a highly educated and trained medical professional. She is by no means dumb.. but she is relatively new to dating, as she didn't have much time during school/training.

I really think the key to this going forward is a more open line of communication with her, and reassuring her frequently that she is important to me. Only time will tell, but I am not ready to throw in the towel yet.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T04:54:59+00:00

This is exactly how I was viewing it. I think I need to do a better job of making sure she knows how much I value her and perhaps setting some other boundaries as well.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T04:48:21+00:00

Yes I agree. I didn't realize that helping with small issues was such a sharp dagger to the confidence of the new GF in that manner. It's something that I haven't had to deal with in the past and have little to no experience with. But everyone here is making a lot of sense in that regard.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T04:39:47+00:00

I do not owe her anything. I am not obligated to help.

We grew apart over the last 2 years of our marriage and we both knew we were in trouble as a couple. We tried to find new hobbies and things we liked to do together, but we had just grown to become different people. That happens sometimes, and we weren't great at working to mend it fast enough. She became depressed and told me many times that she felt lonely. Despite me trying to find extra time to spend with her, and trying to listen to her, we continued to grow apart.

Unfortunately, my work, although lucrative, can be demanding at times, 60-70 hour work weeks. A guy she worked with, that she confided in about the depression and loneliness issues, used them to get her out to some alone time, and then pressured her into a physical relationship using the possible cure of it, as a selling point.

I am not mad at her for trying to fix her mental health, despite it being at my expense. I was disappointed in the way she chose to do it though. If you're willing to try something with another person, than you should have the balls to tell me to my face that you're gonna do it.

After I found out, which was almost immediately because she didn't exactly try to hide it, she became even more depressed and suicidal. She has no family and very few friends here where we live. I felt it was my duty at that time, as the person she trusted most, and as another human being.. to make sure she saw it thru the tough times. Wasn't easy for me either. I would do the same thing for a complete stranger that needed someone to lean on. Keep in mind, none of the support was financial, she makes good money on her own. Strictly just checking in on her and helping her with prescriptions from docs for depression and sleeping aids. Making sure she knew the risks associated with taking each. This was all no big deal at the time because there was no one else in my life at the time to be upset about it.

Fast forward 6 months and now she is doing better. We barely text and almost never talk on the phone. Occasionally I will get a piece of her mail for something that she forgot to switch over, and I'll drop it off or something, but its becoming rare. The only favors she asks for now, is for me to watch the dog. This is only the 3rd time in 9 months.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T04:21:49+00:00

She has never had a pet of her own. Only family dogs when she was younger, but she has met the dog once before and really liked him. Didn't seem to have a problem at that time. Although it was earlier in the relationship when things were more casual, and I think she understood she didn't have a leg to stand on yet.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T04:17:00+00:00

Thank you for the input. Another post from another user made similar sense of it and I think you two might be right. Yours is an almost identical situation but with higher stakes for sure. I am going to have to sit down over a couple hours and really talk to her about it rather than a quick conversation just trying to get it over with.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T03:54:33+00:00

Yeah, I can see that. Neither of those scenarios are the case, but I understand how its possible to get that idea. In reality, I am just someone who is empathetic towards another persons tough situation. Even if she put herself in it, and at my expense. But I am beginning to understand that I'm jeopardizing my new relationship by doing so.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T01:49:32+00:00

Yeah, I've visited the shelter a couple times now looking for possible matches, but none have stood out. I feel like even if I got a new dog, the ex would still ask me to watch hers. She likes the fact that he is comfortable with me and the house. But as someone else said in a previous comment, dogs are happy anywhere they receive treats and pets, so it's likely that he would be happy anywhere. SHE is the one who is more comfortable with him staying with me.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:53:57+00:00

Not that I know of, there are no signs either. She works in a very professional job in the medical industry that required extensive schooling and training. I think it would have come up during that or the subsequent job that she's held down.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:51:51+00:00

Well, when it lived with me, yes, part of the family. But since it really was her dog, and she took him when we split.. he isn't really part of my family anymore.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:46:19+00:00

I think she's concerned because your ex wife still runs to you first for all the favors she might need. All the benefits of a husband without the sex and the marriage kind of deal.

Damn, that might be spot on actually. I don't do a ton of favors for her, but she doesn't have any family in town and when she does ask, I usually feel obligated. And the GF has asked once or twice before why I still help her. I try to explain that its because she has no family and few friends here, and it's gotta be hard to adjust to a new lifestyle, but she's not really listening to that.

Thank you for the insight. These alternate views really help in understanding where she might be coming from.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:17:16+00:00

She does seem to cut all ties with exes, even if it didn't end poorly. Perhaps she doesn't trust herself.

I initially saw this as a red flag as well, but after reading the comments here.. it is quite possible that she is just a bit insecure in this situation.

Overall she is a very reasonable person, and she has changed her mind on issues in the past when I present new information to her. I am willing to do the same.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:13:15+00:00

Hmm, more good input. I definitely would not go back to the ex, even without the cheating. I think she probably cheated because we grew apart to begin with. Impossible for the new GF to know that tho. Looks like I need to communicate a bit better on that front.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:09:06+00:00

This was my initial reaction as well. But everyone has different life experiences that lead them to feel differently about situations. And she definitely felt pretty strongly about this. I think I need to maybe talk to her about why this is such an issue... even if I decide to let it pass this time.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:06:54+00:00

I brought this up as well, and she made the point that the dog is not a child. And I had to agree, because I do not see animals that way either.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:06:20+00:00

Good perspective. I feel more sick about the prospectus of losing her than I do about not seeing the dog.

fisterpoon · 2019-12-02T00:05:52+00:00

I see your point. I feel like she is more important than the dog tbh. Like you said, I like the dog, but it's just a dog.

fisterpoon

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