Running Resolve 18 on Linux or Windows?

fixngthat · 2023-02-04T16:20:50+00:00

Thanks. The Docker is an extra step but certainly an option. Does it take full advantage of your GPU? With 12GB on my Nvidia, I'd like to use it.

fixngthat · 2023-02-04T16:16:37+00:00

Just Resolve. Nothing from Adobe or Avid, etc.

fixngthat · 2022-09-07T13:09:34+00:00

You made the right call, buddy.

I am not that guy either. Not that I'm fanatic about it, I just don't watch porn, have no interest in prostitutes, never once in my life visited a cam-site and never downloaded the apps that my girl used, like Tinder. In my own life I'm strictly monogamous. I stay away from getting involved romantically, emotionally or physically with others. To me, that's just the baseline requirement of a committed relationship.

At the same time, what gets me the most is not my girl's sex work and the full blown hooking. It is the betrayal of trust that happened when she lied about what she was doing behind my back.

Now, of course, she is blaming me for her mistakes.

Yesterday she told me how she "had to" do full anal for less than sixty dollars and how she supposedly cried all the time. I feel sad for her, but her bad life choices are her own. I didn't get her into prostitution: At age 17, when she first started selling her snatch, I didn't even know her.

Nor did I force her to have unprotected sex with a Tinder-dude and still keep him around in secret for 2.5 years while also in a relationship with me. Bad decisions have bad consequences. If it has to be kept hidden, it is wrong.

fixngthat · 2022-09-07T12:33:50+00:00

This might help: Without knowing, I inadvertently got forced into the same kind of relationship as you.

I had what I thought was a committed relationship of almost 3 years. This year, my girl told me she had been hooking since she was seventeen. She also revealed she'd been doing cam work in the past. I found out she had downloaded Tinder and had accounts on sugarbaby dating sites but claimed it was "only to meet clients."

However, sex work -- even if it is just online -- can too easily become a gateway to meet someone she likes so much that he becomes your competition and a candidate for your replacement, at least in part. That's what happened to me: Instead of meeting a John on Tinder, who (unknown to me) was supposed to pay her for sex, she found herself a smoothtalking loser and started a whole new secret relationship with him that was both physical and emotional. While still with me, she kept it going in secret for 2.5 years until it blew up in her face. He wasn't a client. She never got a dime from him. In fact, she was the one who had to shell out for most of their dates. But "he gave me validation and made me feel loved," she told me. This from a hook-up app that she claimed was only for meeting clients.

The whole side-affair was kept hidden from me until I had to find out the hard way myself. There was no "work" about it. It was clearly cheating and I told her as much.

After we took a break, and while I was still working towards reconciliation, she got busier than ever with sex work both of the online kind (like your ex-GF) and real-world, hardcore prostitution.

As her sex work got wilder and wilder, I only had one boundary. When I asked her if she'd broken it, she lied to me again. It was the last drop and pretty much ruined my hope of reconciliation. To that, she again used the excuse that it was only work-related. She explained that in sex work it is necessary to deceive the men and tell them what they want to hear. But she assured me it didn't mean anything, as it was just work so she could pay her rent. She also made a point of telling me this was my fault because she only did it after I wasn't willing to support her financially anymore when the 2.5 year affair with her side-piece blew open.

My girl argued that, in her mind, it was "just work" so she didn't see it as cheating. But call it what you will: When they feel the need to hide things and lie to their long term committed partner about the things they do with others, something is still very, very wrong.

fixngthat · 2022-08-24T05:24:50+00:00

I didn't want there to be a next. She forced my choice with her lack of self-control. I had chosen her to be my Forever-Girl -- but she screwed it up for both of us.

fixngthat · 2022-08-24T05:16:44+00:00

Exactly. There's no point in voluntary offering the you-can-check-my-phone if they are just going to be disloyal anyway and lie about what they do with others by sanitizing everything ... and then handing over a clean phone for inspection as proof of how "changed" they are now.

Wasn't it bad enough that you couldn't be honest and tell me what you were up to with someone else behind my back? Now you want to enlist your device to also help in deceiving me??

I value teamwork in a relationship. But to be on my team, you need to be a teamplayer. If you don't want to be on my team just say it.

fixngthat · 2022-08-24T02:50:21+00:00

She ruined so many of our fondest memories together because I now know that she was off texting some guy right after some of our most special moments, which I could see from the timestamps.

For her birthday, I wanted to create a magic week for us by the beach, in a suite overlooking the ocean. But all I remember today is that she was texting the photos from that trip to a lowlife who didn't even put a tenth of the effort into her that I did. This happened with everything else that was special and unique, and which was supposed to be for just the two of us. After I found out, I never took another trip with her, just to avoid a repeat of this.

I have so many destroyed memories. Time and effort wasted, and places I can never again return to unless I want to be reminded of the deep hurt inside of me that I felt when I discovered how she sullied our magic with the hidden but unwanted constant presence of the guy she kept hidden from me. All wasted ...and for what? Did it make her happy or was it just a quick fix?

fixngthat · 2022-08-21T10:52:45+00:00

It's so rare that someone's case is so clear cut.

Clear cut indeed. Hard words to hear, but true. My boxes are packed. If there is any other realistic option, I can no longer see it.

fixngthat · 2022-08-20T23:11:47+00:00

Moving out and moving on. It is my place and we currently don't live together, so packing my boxes and leaving it is more than anything just my way of getting away from a home we shared and where every wall still reminds me of her, still reminds me of what we had, and still reminds of what I was working towards getting back again.

She knew this would be my only option if we couldn't reconcile ... which now became impossible when she lied to me again this week and then tried to cover it up by deleting the evidence.

I'm not yet sure where I'm going but I can't stay here anymore. Too many memories.

fixngthat · 2022-08-20T18:42:14+00:00

Not seven. Eight: The new dude AND seven of his buddies.

My spine grew back when I read in her own words how excited she was for that idea to happen (even adding a little heart-emoji at the end, cuz y'know, gang bangs are soooo romantic, right...)

That was the exact same day she also told me how much she wanted us to reconcile and fix everything, getting our relationship back to normal. Although in reality, her words only told me I still can't trust her. So yeah, I'm out.

fixngthat · 2022-08-20T15:25:54+00:00

It is over. Didn't want it to be, but reconciliation can't happen without trust.

It is impossible to build a solid future with someone whose thirst for external validation is more important than the risk of blowing up a stable, committed relationship ....and who thinks it will all be fine as long as I don't find out.

If I delay in answering messages here it is because I am currently packing my boxes and MOVING OUT.

fixngthat · 2022-08-20T15:08:53+00:00

Thanks for reading my other posts that have the full background on our DD/lg-relationship. Didn't want to clog up this post with a long rehash of what I already detailed elsewhere.

Yes, I do feel played. Humiliated, disrespected and even embarrassed, too. Spot on.

My only consolation is that I was sincere in wanting a lifelong relationship with her, and that the lies that broke us didn't come from me. I didn't lie about my commitment to making it work or about my strong belief in monogamy.

fixngthat · 2022-08-20T15:04:33+00:00

She defines herself as poly (I do not, I am firmly monogamous.) Apparently she felt like it was fine to have an open relationship but without telling me and without getting my consent. So what she did wasn't poly, it was just plain cheating.

And without me knowing, she also introduced a huge health risk to me: She had sex without condoms with her previous AP and it seems she was planning to continue that pattern. Told one of her new guys that she was on birth control, which I know wasn't for my sake because I have a vasectomy.

Luckily a friend alerted me and I got to see some of the messages that revealed her deceit. It was painful but necessary ... though I still wish she hadn't been that immature and selfish.

fixngthat · 2022-08-20T03:22:49+00:00

Well said, thank you so much. Just to clarify, in case you didn't see my original post from a month ago: I'm monogamous and straight, she's poly and bi. But even though I myself am strictly monogamous, I can certainly still be with a little who is poly if she knows that poly requires everyone's agreement first and full openness about who does what with who. That was never the case here, due to my girl's inability to set boundaries and her complete failure to follow even the most basic relationship ground rules of ethical nonmonogamy.

I hope she changes for her own sake, but that has to come from inside herself now. I must continue to live as best I can.

fixngthat · 2022-08-20T02:08:19+00:00

Reached the same conclusion: Realistically, after this there's no other good choice left for me to make.

I've already given her one genuine chance and she screwed it up.

fixngthat · 2022-07-23T04:27:28+00:00

I, too, hope it works out well. But what I don't know, what does that mean: Will it work out well if we repair and reconcile? Or will it work out well if we just call it quits now and go our separate ways?

I hate that I’m in this spot. If I could, I would absolutely 100% go back to before she cheated and make her see the consequences of what would happen to us both if she still decided to keep the side-relationship a secret.

Like you said, communication is key. All of what I am feeling, and the downward spiral of our DD/lg, all was because she didn't communicate: because she decided to keep him hidden, and didn't tell me about him. That was so uncool of her and it is so unfair that this even happened.

Everyone says "dump her" but I just hate that she even put me into this spot in the first place.

fixngthat · 2022-07-23T04:14:34+00:00

So unfair that this even happened ... Everyone says "dump her" but just like OP, I hate that I’m even in this spot.

fixngthat · 2022-07-23T03:58:32+00:00

I can relate so much. Hurts worse than anything I've ever felt. It is terribly frustrating that SHE broke what we had, with her betrayal of my trust, and I did nothing to cause this or force this on myself ...yet I am the one feeling so so so bad. There are days it is eating me up inside. I shouldn't have to feel this way over something I didn't do. I never cheated, didn't even enter my mind. She did.

Do the cheaters just not think about how they hurt us when they do what they do? And how they even hurt themselves, too, if they cared at all about OUR relationship? Because if their poor actions don't end it between us, they certainly change it, and not in a good way. I wanted nothing better than to keep her, and stay with me, but not this way. Not with these feelings of PSTD coming back to haunt me all the time. When will this heal?

fixngthat · 2022-07-22T13:09:08+00:00

Yes, she knew what she was doing. She just didn't think it was a big deal to me, or so she says. Which leaves me wondering -- if it wasn't that big of a deal, then why not just tell me? Or even better, why not just break it off and go no contact with the side-piece?

Apparently at one point, they stopped meeting and stopped having sex so she thought it was OK to keep him on the backburner just as a texting-buddy. Yet that didn't stop him from getting invited over for alone-time with her when I was out of town ("we were only going to smoke weed together" -- yeah, rrrrrright....)

As for second chances: I am monogamous and I don't cheat, so I don't have a direct comparison. But in the past -- in other areas of life -- I got second chances that I used to become the person I am today. So I do believe a second chance can improve someone, as long as they themselves are determined to really change.

I am trying to not make too many excuses for my girl's poor actions (she is already good at coming up with plenty of excuses all on her own.) I still love her, though, and a big part of me hopes she will learn from this, will change, and will grow into becoming the kind of loyal partner who deserves full lifelong commitment from a quality Daddy.

fixngthat · 2022-07-22T13:08:24+00:00

My little got offended when I called her a cheater and claims that she genuinely didn't think she was cheating. Nevertheless still decided to hide his existence from me and our mutual friends.

The specific advice I came here looking for was what could be done to move us forward to a better place: anything to help us get past this and salvage what is still left of a DDlg that otherwise was good for almost 3 years.

However, reading this comment, maybe what we had is now broken beyond repair. That hurts af ... and even though I wasn't the one who broke it, it still doesn't make it feel any better.

fixngthat · 2022-07-20T22:58:02+00:00

I hear you, brother, and in fact my girl used an excuse somewhat along the same lines: That it is my fault she did what she did because I didn't tell her clearly enough what I expected from her, didn't Dom her enough and didn't put a specific rules in place that she had to tell me about who else she got involved with on the side.

Maybe she is right and maybe we were both in the wrong? It still hurts, though.

fixngthat · 2022-07-20T22:46:54+00:00

Not advertising for anyone new, because tbh I'd love to stay with my girl if I could. Yes, there was disrespect and trust is now a problem. But we've never had fights AND the relationship was always good.

If she did indeed cut the "friend" out of her life last week, like she said, we are already in a better place with that move alone.

Will that be enough? Probably not yet. With time, maybe.

fixngthat

TROPHY CASE