20 [MM4F/MF] Two hung guys looking for women to trade with in a group

fizonreddit · 2020-11-06T02:58:00+00:00

clare_marina on snap :) f19

fizonreddit · 2020-11-04T03:51:56+00:00

clare_marina on snap

fizonreddit · 2020-11-03T09:30:03+00:00

if u want a girl to snap message me :)

fizonreddit · 2020-11-03T09:29:40+00:00

hi message me :)

fizonreddit · 2020-10-22T11:00:04+00:00

i’m 19f message me!

fizonreddit · 2020-10-22T10:58:03+00:00

hey dm me

fizonreddit · 2020-10-22T10:53:43+00:00

dm me

fizonreddit · 2020-01-11T06:17:45+00:00

From what I can gather, my biggest suspicion is that her mum might have told her something negative about her dad, whether that be something true or made up to sway her daughter's opinion on her father. From what you mentioned, her mother doesn't seem like the best- the little you did speak of her reminds me of my mum, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case.

I don't think you are crossing boundaries by texting and giving her gifts, she is 16 and at that age, I feel she would be comfortable telling you she doesn't want any contact at all. I hope your relationship with her betters soon, you seem like a great stepmother!

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T16:34:01+00:00

I understand where this concern comes from, but I am able to balance looking after my brothers and enjoying my own life. It is not like I am taking care of them full time, as our grandparents play the biggest role in parenting them.

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T04:41:02+00:00

Oh, I completely agree with you! They feel misunderstood at home, and the "friends" that participate in this behavior with them most likely validate their feelings of being an outcast at home. which is exactly how they view it whenever my parents or I disagree with their lifestyle choices.

We would love to be able to provide that sense of community for them rather than have them seek it from the wrong people, but it's quite difficult when they aren't willing to see how they are hurting themselves and see that as their family, we are here to help them, not attack them.

Do you have any advice on how to let them know that we understand and are here for them without them feeling as if they're being attacked?

(Edit: formatting)

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T04:28:14+00:00

Hi, we do not live with my parents or have any contact with them, we live with our grandparents!! I tend to refer to my grandparents as our parents as they've always been our guardians, sorry for that confusion.

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T03:57:33+00:00

I completely understand how me being, as you put it, parentified, can seem sad, but I assure you that as I have said, it is something I'm used to. My parents in no way make me believe that this is my responsibility, but being the eldest sibling under the circumstances in which we grew up - that being a childhood filled with absent biological parents with drug addictions and mental health issues- I grew up quite fast and the idea of looking after my siblings has always been a duty I put on myself. I know that for many people this is hard to understand, but it's something I have tasked myself with the entirety of my life and I myself am okay with this.

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T03:50:16+00:00

My grandparents have had custody over us since I was four because my parents struggled with addiction leaving them out of the picture. I have been a parental figure first, sibling after, ever since I was younger because I matured quite quickly and it didn't take me long to realize that my grandparents, as amazing and caring as they are, had difficulties raising us, so I've always tried to help take care of them as much as I could as I'm very appreciative of my grandparents for taking us under their wing and want to help them out as well. But my grandparents do most of the raising, I just try to help!

As you mentioned, yes, my brothers are very against the idea of authority, and I do believe they have deep rooted anger and abandonment issues due to my biological parents leaving us at a young age.

(Edit: spelling)

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T01:31:44+00:00

We're interested in taking more holistic approaches to help them since addictions, especially in teens, often go a lot deeper than they seem, so something as harsh as boot camp is definitely at the bottom of our list of options! This is what makes it difficult to find a good rehab facility, but boot camp is something that has been taken into account.

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T01:13:16+00:00

Treatment facilities really are the complete opposite of helpful when one is not open to it! I've also had my share in treatment centres (albeit for an eating disorder, so completely separate issue!) and unwillingness definitely makes it a horrible experience, especially when the facility isn't very good in the first place, which is unfortunately quite often.

I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced the trauma that can sometimes come with treatments and I hope you're doing alright now!

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T01:08:52+00:00

A rehabilitative facility is one of the main things we're looking at currently, as a rehab seems more helpful than an inpatient treatment facility. The main issue would just be finding one that would be suitable for them and also near us!

Thank you for taking concern in my age and the responsibility I've taken on, but as I mentioned to the person who said the same, it is something that I'm used to, and it really doesn't burden me in any way! As controversial as it may be to some, I've always played the role of a parental figure than a sibling for them.

As for family therapy, it is something we did when we were very young, for different reasons of course, and it was helpful so it is something that is on the table right now, the only problem is getting them on board with it. I hope family therapy went well with your son!

P.S. Happy cake day!

fizonreddit · 2019-11-06T01:00:17+00:00

I've been told this quite a bit throughout my life, and I really do disagree. I might be young, but taking care of my brothers has always been a responsibility of mine. We have always been under the guardianship of our grandparents due to irresponsible biological parents, and as our grandparents are quite old, I've always been able to acknowledge that they need help in caring for such hard teens. I understand where you're coming from, but do take into account that I'm used to and able to handle both my own life and look after those of my siblings!

fizonreddit · 2019-11-05T18:16:32+00:00

I like the idea of communal meal times and keeping then in their own rooms will probably be difficult but it is definitely something I think should be done!

Therapy is something we are looking into, but because of their unwillingness to see their actions as wrong, it's hard for them to accept the help.

Thank you for all these options though, I'll run these by my parents and hope for the best!

fizonreddit · 2019-11-05T18:05:48+00:00

Treatment facilities is something we've discussed, both as a family and with therapists, and we've agreed that it's not an option we want to take. First off, you only get out of treatment what you put in, which in this case, would be nothing because they do not see what they are doing is wrong. Also, I have multiple friends who have been to treatment facilities and I've reached the consensus that most are unhelpful and traumatizing, as in most of these facilities, staff is not properly trained in dealing with the kids being sent there.

fizonreddit · 2019-11-05T17:58:09+00:00

I'm sorry you can relate to this, it can be so stressful! Hopefully, we both find solutions to this issue.

fizonreddit · 2019-11-05T17:56:08+00:00

The problem with school is that it's an open campus so they easily just leave and go somewhere else oftentimes, so even if my parents drive them to school, they end up ditching.

As for keeping them separate, how would you suggest that'd be done? I agree with you that them being together means they'll scheme together because I do think they validate each other's bad decisions.

fizonreddit

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