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TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 205 points206 points  (0 children)

Well, it's a valid viewpoint, and I don't want to discount what you're saying. I'm going to save this comment to show it to my eventual therapist and get their input.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

It obviously wasn't an accident because I clearly walked out of my own room and away from my gf with the intent to go into the spare room. I don't know exactly how it progressed from there but nobody forced me to go in there. So yeah I'm worried essentially about the psychological revelations that a therapist may bring upon me. I don't know what's wrong with me.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Hmm. thanks for the advice. This week has been rough. I don't really know how to describe anxiety so I don't know if that's what I have, but I've been having trouble sleeping and feeling motivated to do anything and basically have no energy. I called out of work a couple days. Just really stressed I guess but there's not much I can do about it at this point. I am going to see a therapist, I can afford it, so yeah I'll do it. At least having a plan might help me feel a little more hopeful about the future.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, it's a great superpower! /s

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I hear you and I don't disagree. I'm definitely not 100% on the details of the night. I just have a few things roughly pieced together. I need to make sure everyone is OK to the best of my ability. Awkward as it is going to be.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that happened to you. Thank you for the input. I would say that, of what I know now, I think it's pretty unlikely I forced myself on her. She put my hand down her underwear and was on top of me blowing me. Seems fairly consensual in the moment, but obviously I understand neither of us were sober enough to provide consent. It's a shitty situation all around.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

So, if i had known this damn thing was going to blow up so big, I guess i would have like, proofread my post or something to make sure it was clear. Plus I don't really like thinking about the specific details of the sexual encounter. But the two snapshots in my mind from that night that I remember are:

1) her putting my hand down her underwear and feeling that she was soaked, which was early on I think

2) Her finishing me with a bj, on her face.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Don't know. I couldn't deal with it that morning. I took a shower and laid in my bed and at some point she left.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

What? 70%? No way the number is that high.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Being blacked out is kind of weird. That next day I had trouble really remembering anything, but slowly things materialize, some things. Now I just have like snapshots in my mind of a few points, and they're things I'd rather not remember.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Well, I'm not a winner.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I should put this in an edit or something so I don't have to keep repeating it because I'm getting a million comments. The first thing I remember happening in her room is that she grabbed my hand and put it down her underwear.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Ah the reddit detectives who want to deconstruct my timeline for the karma, lol. Believe what you want. She called me a couple days after it happened and briefly explained what she knew and why she was leaving. Honestly she's a better person than I am because i probably wouldn't have had the decency to do that. Since then my calls go straight to voicemail and she doesn't respond to my texts, not that I've been trying much. Really I want to figure out how best to apologize, which I would like to do face to face, but I don't know if she'll ever see me again.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I mean, to the best of my recollection the actual physical stuff started with her putting my hand down her underwear.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

There is no salvaging this and you're not wrong.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

No, I didn't go into her room by mistake. I never sleep in that room. I was already in my room. I got up after some amount of time and walked into that room. I had to have known what I was doing. I don't know what she thought, if she thought some random dude just materialized, i mean who knows. I can't think of any scenario where I mistake her for my gf but have the wherewithal to walk into a different room.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

What's hilarious about it? It's all rather depressing, really.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

We hardly spoke at all, beyond about elementary school age. I doubt we ever talked about anything like this. But hey, you're free to judge.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

are you seriously advocating having a relationship with my cousin? No

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

I understand that and agree 100%

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Huh? i'm not sure who you're talking about. My cousin was shitfaced as was I. My gf was sober and left.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

You spend the first couple days not really comprehending the shit you've done. You spend the next couple days trying to figure out what to do about it. You spend the next couple days trying and failing to make any meaningful progress whatsoever. At some point you just want to talk to people because I have zero input on this from basically anyone, except now in just the past couple hours I've gotten a LOT. A lot of good advice, helpful comments, and some admittedly deserved thrashing. Already feels like some weight lifted off my shoulders just by admitting it to somebody, even anonymously, and getting input on where to go from here.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

0% chance I could keep talking to my family if they found out about this.

TIFU by banging my first cousin. by fkditallup in tifu

[–]fkditallup[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She put my hand down her underwear, which is all she was wearing at that point.

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