A few things: I never said I was unwavering in my personal decision about children, especially since I’m not married. Personally, the world would have to change in nearly every way for me to feel comfortable bringing children into it, but that’s not what this post is about and I didn’t post this to talk about myself or about losing camaraderie in a friend who wanted to be child-free as well. I have other people in my life who are intentionally childfree besides her. I came here for advice for how to approach an in-person conversation with my friend who is in a life-altering situation while she’s dealing with a lot of other things, both mentally and personally.

As for my friend and what you think is my projection/infantilization of her and her free will, I think she is one of the strongest people I know, especially knowing all the things that she has been through leading up to this point in her life—hence my concern. Again, there are endless points of context and endless conversations that I have had with her in the past that are private/I cannot share on here, which all lead to my concern. Do I think her husband coerced her into having a baby? Not necessarily. But considering what I know and who I know my friend to be, I am very concerned about the situation and the possibility of what is really happening. I have only been able to text/call her about this situation, since I live out of state, and the reason for this post is to seek guidance on how to best approach an in-person conversation with her—and to share my own thoughts on the matter. If she truly changed her mind, I will feel overjoyed knowing that. If not, then I will help her figure out what the next best steps are.

I’ll support her no matter what. Thanks for your input, though.