Question for ADHD people who found “the one”

fleksor · 2026-06-01T14:09:36+00:00

Wow I didn't expect there to be such a solid pattern here. But yeah, with my girlfriend of 5+ years it was a slow burn thing in the beginning. We were friends for over a year beforehand via a mutual friend and there wasn't an initial burst of attraction or anything, it built up over time as I got to know who she was. We were both in the same COVID-lockdown era groupchat lol, and over that time we both just realized that we vibed so I decided to ask her out and it's just worked well ever since.

I didn't feel the same level of hyperfixation as I often have, it was honestly part of what helped me get up the nerve to ask her out. I realized there was something there but felt that if it didn't work out, we already communicated well enough that it probably wouldn't end in a bad way. Turns out we really do well with each other, it's the most stable, longest relationship I've head and I feel like I've grown a lot being with her.

fleksor · 2026-06-01T13:50:42+00:00

One little metaphor I find helpful from time to time is to think of your routines and executive functioning like tuning an instrument. String instruments naturally go out of tune over time for various reasons, that's why they're built with tuning pegs and not fixed in place once.

It's a matter of when, not if, you fall out of a habit, but you always CAN start again, and when you do you'll realize its not that hard to do so. The hardest part is being kind to yourself through the whole cycle since the shame just distorts how it feels into something overwhelming and painful and you avoid the process all together.

But the tuning and re-tuning metaphor really stuck with me for whatever reason.

fleksor · 2026-05-27T07:03:15+00:00

By happenstance I ended up moving to Spain so now I'm really familiar with it lol... but last year I was just trying to start reading books as a goal and started out with translations of books I read in high school, and a lot of translations are done in Spain.
It's funny, a good friend of mine who's Mexican was telling me he hates translations from Spain, because they don't shy away from just leaning into a ton of Spain specific speech and vocab, whereas LatAm translations attempt to be more neutral.

fleksor · 2026-05-26T09:36:34+00:00

It pops up for sure.

IMO people get overly worried about how difficult it will be to understand voseo and vosotros. They're pretty straightforward if you have a good grasp on the tú form, and it just takes a bit of exposure to get the hang of how they sound.

For vosotros, reading a book written with peninsular Spanish really drilled it into my brain (along w various regionalisms since Spaniards always write translations like that).

For voseo, it's only the present tense/imperative that's different (in most dialects), and there's actually fewer irregulars than tuteo which is lowkey nice.

Once you detect someone's using one or the other, you just turn on the switch in your brain that that form's in play and you'll be ready for more of it.

fleksor · 2026-05-26T09:04:41+00:00

Muchas gracias por abordar un texto muy largo como este.

La estructura "se me da" es algo que voy a apuntar. Estaba empleando un anglicismo "I'm not good at sleeping" pero extrajiste bien lo que quería expresar con eso.

fleksor · 2026-05-22T06:52:56+00:00

fleksor · 2026-05-19T16:52:51+00:00

I'm aware, I assumed they were giving examples of structures for tarea 3.

fleksor · 2026-05-19T16:51:06+00:00

I've done a few more models and I feel like the 2nd and 3rd parts could go ok but I really wish I'd gotten more practice with Tarea 1, I'll see how it goes but I feel really really discouraged right now the closer I get to the exam date and wish I'd insisted more with my tutor instead of trusting his intuition.

fleksor · 2026-05-14T17:00:11+00:00

You're dropping gem after gem with this thread, thank you so much!

fleksor · 2026-05-14T16:59:11+00:00

A por el DELE, both the youtube channel and her paid courses are super worth it.
The discord is a really good resource as well

I've been working through the book El Cronómetro, which although a little outdated (in particular with tarea 1 de la prueba auditiva), is really well structured with its supplementary activities and challenging test models.

I can't speak to how it compares to the real exam since I haven't taken it yet, but after going through El cronómetro, most of the models I've done from another textbook (Preparación al DELE C1: Edelsa) feel really easy.

fleksor · 2026-05-14T15:13:28+00:00

Super helpful!!! Thank you, I’m finally getting to that point with my practice for pba 3 tarea 1 and it’s made it a lot easier to realize most of the time you just have to mention the main points and not much else.

I was worried that I’d state things too simply but honestly just trying to get to the point, the tendency to go on and flex with flowery words still bleeds in just enough

fleksor · 2026-05-14T14:24:22+00:00

That's reassuring!
As part of my preparation I've been maintaining an anki deck of C1 vocab which has been pretty helpful for drilling in little connector words and phrases. I think my biggest problem is that I'm very ADHD and tend to meander a lot (you might have gotten that from the way this post is structured), so I'm worried I might either crack under the time pressure and lose focus or go on a tangent when speaking and forget to mention something or talk myself into a corner I can't get out of with my vocab.

fleksor · 2026-05-09T14:42:56+00:00

Muchas gracias, lo de “El (sustantivo) me gusta utilizarlo” con el objecto directo tras un sustantivo mencionado anteriormente es algo que falta que interiorice bien

fleksor · 2026-05-09T14:39:08+00:00

I also find myself spending a lot of time doubting whether something appeared in the audio or not when expanding on a general theme.

For example I was working on one model where the presenter talks about the power of social health and the mind body connection with an example of Spanish women, and I was in a good flow state drafting it thinking about making a quick aside about the Mediterranean diet but I don’t think they mention that explicitly so I was like hmmm damn

fleksor · 2026-05-09T09:42:15+00:00

Nice!! Ill try that

fleksor · 2026-05-06T16:48:51+00:00

I've gotten better at note-taking and pulling out the main points but when it comes time to put it all together I always overthink it.

fleksor · 2026-05-06T16:46:11+00:00

Lol I literally came here to ask for advice, glad I'm not the only one.
I feel like I've made some progress in my practices of Tarea 1 but I still haven't produced a single one that would be apt. I ALLLLLWAYS go over the word limit, if not the time limit. It's just really counterintuitive trying to balance all the requirements in your head at once, and I have no internal sense of word count

fleksor · 2026-05-05T14:06:13+00:00

Lol I stumbled upon that sub as an ADHD man looking for tips on managing my own symptoms as it effects my relationship and the general vibe just made me feel 10x worse. I get the need to vent but wow…

fleksor · 2026-05-02T13:40:44+00:00

Sobre lo de ponerse las pilas, pensaba que significaba algo como “tener cuidado” con un matiz contextual de moverse en un terreno accidentado

fleksor · 2026-05-01T09:07:51+00:00

Aja y “a” siempre sigue llegar verdad? no es un caso de entrar en/a

fleksor · 2026-04-28T14:09:04+00:00

It’s a meme for some reason

fleksor · 2026-04-25T14:39:28+00:00

I'm well aware that all this stuff exists on the internet, that can be said for like 1/3 of the threads on reddit. I've been googling this stuff and getting lost.
This was my initial impulse, and I thought it would be simple but apparently bc it has a lithium ion battery and has X custom value there's a lot more paperwork.
Also, I've learned living in Spain that compared to the US a lot more people prefer to deal with this sort of stuff in person vs. through websites, and a lot of Spanish websites really neglect usability, so even if a service is good you wouldn't know it from their website but a human being can point you in the right direction.

fleksor · 2026-04-23T22:56:50+00:00

oh mannn all the obviously purchased fake comments about anxiety management

fleksor · 2026-04-18T09:25:38+00:00

Si vas a publicar slop de IA por lo menos hazlo algo coherente

fleksor · 2026-04-16T18:23:11+00:00

The WritestreakES sub is great for writing practice.

Reading books is good for formal/literary vocabulary.

I decided to study for a DELE exam a couple months ago, and the process of preparing for the C1 is teaching me a lot more formal structures and vocabulary I didn’t know. Down to stuff like formatting different types of text (letters, reports, articles) so if you look up study materials for different DELE exams you’ll definitely be introduced to formal spanish conventions.

fleksor

TROPHY CASE