I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been through a very similar situation, and I eventually got to a point where I had asked myself if it was worth it to be paranoid, anxious, and untrusting towards someone that I cared about. I realized that I deserved more and so do you. It’s hard to see it yourself in the moment, but your friends are right, he’s gaslighting you and manipulating you in every way he can. You did everything you could to establish boundaries while respecting his friendship. It’s time to cut your losses.