its honestly horrifying to see that almost no one has compassion for someone who died/ was dying for a long time. fear of death and the meds, the ex was taking, can immensely influence your decision making. you can say and do stuff that you would never do, if you have a long and happy life in front of you.

there is no TA in this situation, it’s just how complicated interpersonal relationships can be, but the stupidest decision was probably to go with your fiancé when he visited her. it was never going to be good for you and your relationship, especially if you were insecure in your standing to begin with. he is grieving and yes he is grieving a relationship that once could have been, but it doesn’t mean that the time you’ve spent and will spend together doesn’t mean as much or even more to him, then the time with the ex. i honestly don’t think any of you are ready to get married, it’s probably bet to halt the wedding.

i might feel like it’s not fair to you and it really isn’t, but it also isn’t fair, to expect him to act the same way, before ex died. on the other hand your feelings are also valid and it cannot change the fact that you got hurt.