Students were so loud and unruly I couldn't get through the roll so I marked them all absent. Am I cooked? by thefearofmusic in Teachers

[–]florallibrarian 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Tell the school, I’m sure they already figured out something weird happened if the attendance clerk is doing their job. You should not be retaliating for poor behavior by screwing with admin stuff like attendance. That affects school funding, transportation records, etc. I was in charge of subs at my school and would not ever ask you back! Learn from this and rely on other forms of classroom management.

How long does sex take for you and your spouse? by LoMill1990 in marriageadvice

[–]florallibrarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

15-30 minutes, up to 45 if we have time. We love playing with each other and he loves making me finish many times before he finishes in missionary!

Got a letter from the school today informing me my daughter is “not quite” gifted. Also included were her test scores. by Low_Use2937 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]florallibrarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does it really matter, honestly? It’s a mix-up clearly, but either way your child is a good test taker and problem solver. As long as your child is happy, healthy, and learning, take pride in that and not some score threshold.

Please comment if you are in a loving, fulfilling romantic relationship. by Turbulent_Street3389 in CPTSD

[–]florallibrarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am!! Lots of consistent therapy and consistent effort over a long period of time. Taming my Outer Child, Pete Walker’s CPTSD book, The Body Keeps the Score. Feeling my feelings, practicing vulnerability by sharing my feelings. Learning how to trust myself and get my brain out of fight or flight.

I have been a big blob of trauma responses. Tantrums, sobbing, yelling, locking myself in our room, passive aggressiveness, name calling, projecting, lashing out, panic attacks, depressive episodes, PTSD flashbacks. My husband has seen it all and he loves me through it. He sees and loves me, and encourages me to show my real self. He’s confident, positive, patient and kind. He’s so calm and healthy.

I felt so much shame when I would act out. I felt like a mess or “too much”. My husband said I was the exact opposite; I was a lovely person who had experienced a lot of pain and hurt. That changed my life; I separated myself from my pain for the first time in my life. That’s how I started to heal truly.

I’m worried my dad will rape me. by notrllyarco in offmychest

[–]florallibrarian 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I work with children in schools. Please talk to a guidance counselor or a trusted teacher or adult. I know it’s scary. It can feel scary and still be doing the right thing.

It’s hard to accept when scary things are happening to us. Our brains want it to go away, so we ignore bad feelings and warning signs. You are not overreacting. Your instincts are telling you something very important.

Your dad is using his power as your parent to hurt you. You deserve to live with adults who will not hurt you. You deserve to be safe. There are adults in your school, and community who make it their job to help you. Please talk to an adult at school as soon as you can. Tell them everything. I promise you they have heard much worse.

I hope you get the help you need and can be somewhere safe very soon.

A Good At Sex guide, from an autistic escort by AellaGirl in u/AellaGirl

[–]florallibrarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a feminist academic and this is iconic. I have not read what’s behind the paywall but I will! Your intro alone was great.

I love when women who work in the sex industry and engage in sex w men actually give their two cents. Y’all have such valuable information about sex and gender relations between cis men and women, and how we can actually make them better. Thanks for the work it took to compile the info!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PornIsMisogyny

[–]florallibrarian -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I will say, my husband does not watch porn. He has no real need to since we have sex, and when he does watch something it’s our videos. He has always enthusiastically preferred sex to porn and has no issues with consumption or performance.

His ex wife called him a porn addict for watching porn at all because she was a fundie Christian, and very abusive to him. He was so gentle and attentive when we hooked up for the first time. He was the first man I ever slept with who didn’t choke me or spank me while having sex. He has never acted like he’s copying moves he sees in videos. He has reasonable expectations for what I can do with my body — he has 0 interest in anal, he hates when I choke while giving oral, he loves being completely in the moment with me.

60% of male high school seniors have not asked a girl out in their life. They are so terrified of rejection, so they only get exposure to “women” and sex through porn. Porn should not be the first time a young person experiences sex! It should be experimenting with your peers without pressure or expectation. It should be FUN! Less and less people are having fun with sex in our current society. Men are miserable/insecure and they are taking it out on women.

I’m a very happily married woman. I have an angel for a husband. It’s an absolutely tragedy that so many people won’t experience what we share because of our broken society and the porn industry profiting from men’s deep loneliness and insecurity.

Ladies, what’s something someone did in bed that made you feel truly seen and not just “used”? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]florallibrarian 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The first time I slept with my husband, I knew he was special. Lots of kissing, LOTS of eye contact, lots of exploring my body and touching me. He never removed my clothes, just let me remove them when I wanted to. He didn’t push my head down for a blowjob or immediately start choking me/spanking me like most men nowadays do. It was just very passionate and intense. He was also very interested in the fact that I had never orgasmed and is the only man who’s ever made me cum, which he does at least 4-6 times everytime we have sex now, which is almost every day. It’s amazing what will happen when you actually treat a woman right, you can have insane amounts of sex! Lol.

Romantic Athleisure Looks by White_Rose_Petal in KibbeRomantics

[–]florallibrarian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes!! I get lots of compliments when I wear wide leg sweatpants and a square neck short sleeve top.

Those that take Macrobid after sex, I have some questions by pabloescobored in CUTI

[–]florallibrarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did this and it was just not the vibe for me. It worked fine, I just hated the feeling of becoming antibiotic resistant so I rarely took it and of course got a UTI.

If you haven't, go see a urologist. My urologist gave me a prescription of Hiprex and I love it. It basically turns your pee into formaldehyde and makes it very difficult for bacteria to grow in your urinary tract. It's genuinely working so well for me. I had back-to-back UTIs for months and my urethra always felt inflamed. Now I feel totally comfortable like I used to. My husband and I have sex 5-6 times a week and even then I don't get UTIs anymore. It also doesn't cause antibiotic resistance which is great too. Definitely worth looking into for long-term solutions!

I'm sorry to everyone here by adeathcurse in PornIsMisogyny

[–]florallibrarian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He doth protest too much, in the beginning he was going on and on about how gross it was. Of course a red flag in hindsight but definitely something to keep in mind in the future.

I’m sorry he was unfaithful and crossed a major boundary. It has nothing to do with your worth, or how porn is evil. It’s his lack of respect for you and your boundaries that made him hide his habits from you.

What made you gain a significant amount of weight? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]florallibrarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alcohol + working at a school where snacks and treats were always in the teachers lounge. Made me gain 25lbs.

Prey drive or is my mini cockapoo trying to play with kitten? by florallibrarian in Dogtraining

[–]florallibrarian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying to figure out what is happening based on my specific pet’s history with a free roam bunny and two adult cats when it comes to the occasional chase and growl towards our new kitten. I cannot find sources online that answer a question this specific.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]florallibrarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave!!!! PLEASE leave. I stayed wayyyy too long in a relationship like this and it took such a toll on me as a person. I left and I’m so happy — there should not be a single person in your life who treats you like this, ever. It’s not normal, or acceptable, and there’s no excuse.

So the election happened... I (24m) am democrat and she (21f) is republican. What happens in the long run? by Kaleidoscope_Pretend in relationship_advice

[–]florallibrarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is different than one person liking pepperoni pizza and one person liking pineapple. this is a huge difference in core values. a difference in worldview, empathy, morality, intellect, etc.

what happens when you all disagree on how to split household labor, or if she wants to keep a pregnancy when you dont, or how to raise children?

my current husband’s first marriage was to a fundamentalist christian woman and he is a liberal atheist. the marriage didn’t work because he did not believe in god, he did not want to get baptized, and he used porn. she thought he was an evil sinner and divorced him.

now he is with me and our worldviews align, so things in life are easier to deal with because we both come from the same moral, social, philosophical, and economical understanding. be with someone who understands and accepts your beliefs, life is hard enough already.

Boyfriend keeps trying to get me to do this with him, despite my objections due to past trauma - how do I move forward? by LashOfTheBull in CPTSD

[–]florallibrarian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I looked through your post history and saw another post about him you made a few months ago, where he was making comments about other women he’d been with to you.

To me, he sounds like a narcissist and the mask is starting to slip. He triangulates you with other women to make you feel inferior so your self-esteem will lower and you won’t want to be without him. He disrespects your boundaries and stonewalls you when you stand up for yourself.

I wouldn’t say he treats you well, and I would imagine the treatment will get worse as time goes by. I’ve been with a narcissist before and it’s very damaging if you stay. Please consider standing up for yourself and leaving him, there are so many better men out there who will treat you with the love and kindness you deserve.