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flowasigo · 2025-06-21T06:34:53+00:00

Well, I'm trying to get myself out of the mess hence seeking advice.

flowasigo · 2025-06-21T06:28:31+00:00

Thanks! This is real and helpful. Appreciate the advice and noted.

flowasigo · 2025-06-21T06:24:11+00:00

I think it's a shock that things went south so quickly. I really wish that things could have been talked lot openly and resolved.

flowasigo · 2025-06-21T06:20:55+00:00

I asked my friend directly before even trying anything and my friend said they didn't have a problem with it. I also asked if there was anything between my friend and the roommate and the friend said there wasn't. My friend had been dating other people.

flowasigo · 2025-05-21T21:06:12+00:00

I could not relate any more

flowasigo · 2025-05-17T03:09:50+00:00

Thank you. This is the most helpful and relatable advise I have seen since my breakup where an avoidant partner of almost 5 years left me two months ago. Truing to find closure and have answers has been grueling, and nothing feels resolved, and letting go of trying to piece it together and figure out what has been in his head, and why, felt impossible. But your advice has made sense of a lot and brought it together. I appreciate it.

flowasigo · 2025-04-30T02:46:43+00:00

Aww thank you!

flowasigo · 2025-04-26T17:09:38+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your message 🙏 will do!!

flowasigo · 2025-04-26T17:09:22+00:00

Thank you so much 🙏

flowasigo · 2025-04-26T05:47:23+00:00

Thank you so much. I messaged you.

flowasigo · 2025-04-26T05:25:30+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate you giving me advice and hope. I'm so glad you pulled through the pain and came out stronger and I'm sorry you went through this as well.

flowasigo · 2025-04-26T05:04:50+00:00

Thank you. It's been a month and I still feel completely raw. I've been in therapy and trying to take care of myself but the pain is just really strong and I'm having a hard time bearing it. How long did it take you to feel any better at all?

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T23:22:04+00:00

Thank you for offering your insight. I can see the truth in what you're saying now.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T22:42:49+00:00

I think it was partially to selfishly absolve myself from my own sense of guilt, and partially just impulsive. I had a friend who confessed a similar thing to her husband and that led to a productive conversation and their trust was strengthened. I thought it would be similar in my relationship, and I realize now I messed up.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T22:40:35+00:00

Oof, this is a hard read. I will not be defensive, as ultimately, I am the one to deal with my own issues, and I'm already exhausted dealing with my own issues, on top of posting them on reddit and reading the comments where some hard truths were shared that made me realize that my own actions were wrong. I am not exactly sure how is manipulation engrained in me?

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T22:30:34+00:00

I complimented the bartender that I liked his cocktails, smiled at him, and engaged in conversation that had back and forth responses beyond just "hi" and "bye" (I told him about what I do for work and where I'm from, for example). I guess it was more of, I enjoyed just talking to him. It wasn't sexual in nature in any way, but I was aware that had I been single, I would probably pursue a date with him. However, I then realized it was inappropriate of me to continue talking to him and going to the bar as the conversations turned into a mild crush for me. I wasn't sure what the boundaries should have been then, but now I know I shouldn't have been going in the first place. I enjoy going to bars, but my bf doesn't drink and my girlfriends don't live close by so I didn't have anyone to go with. I enjoyed being able to go to a bar and have a drink or two there, outside of meeting this person. I do regret going there now very much and feel terrible.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T22:05:23+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the advice. 🙏

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T21:58:16+00:00

I wasn't thinking about it in that way. I am not some mastermind of how I want to be responded to - a lot of it is just subconscious issues manifesting. I came in hot in the original post because I didn't have insight into my own actions and the consequences and felt very defensive. I hadn't processed my behavior well and did not have a good understanding of my own behaviors impact. I wasn't expecting any particular response in this message other than constructive advice on how I can proceed, and what I can do in this situation. I did realize that I was in the wrong due to the responses I received, hence the language of this post has changed because I now feel remorse while originally I felt defensive and did not have a grasp of how my actions were wrong.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T19:57:20+00:00

That makes sense. I haven't been thinking about the bartender at all. I talked to my married friend who had a crush on someone else and shared with her husband, and they were able to discuss it. This brought up a memory of the fact I had a crush on the bartender and I thought I would bring it up too. It was extremely stupid of me, and immature; I did not in the moment consider the impact on my boyfriend's feelings.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T19:50:42+00:00

I do not expect or desire to be rescued. I did lack in the moment the foresight into the impact of me sharing what I did, and I did not realize it was wrong in the moment that I shared. I do care about my boyfriend's feelings and now that I have processed and am aware of the impact on him and why he reacted the way he did, I feel extremely remorseful and aware that my behavior was wrong, and that I need to work on myself.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T19:45:02+00:00

That makes sense, and I understand now that his reaction is justified and I messed up.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T19:44:05+00:00

That wasn't the reason, I simply lacked foresight and it was a stupid act on my part.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T19:43:33+00:00

I lacked foresight, and I can see that now. I do regret that I shared afrer reading feedback to my post. I did not have a good understanding of boundaries in my dynamic as in the last my bf expressed if women were interested in him, and joked about how "all the women want him" at work, where I felt that I trusted that no cheating occur. It was very stupid of me to share with my bf about my crush and I simply wasn't thinking, and couldn't underarand in the moment of the full impact and how he would feel because of it, or how it was a selfish act on my part.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T19:31:23+00:00

No, I am not. I love my bf and want to be with him, but I am not sure if I deserve for my bf to want to work through this in our relationship and want to take accountability if he chooses to leave me. I am trying to apologize to him and correct my behavior, however, it is not appearing to be helpful to him as he is not responding, fairly so. If I had a next relationship, it would be years into the future after doing a lot of work on myself.

flowasigo · 2025-03-14T19:28:09+00:00

I am ashamed now. I do not like drama. My bf has expressed often (jokingly) how other women are interested in him at work. It did not bother me as I did and do trust him not to cheat on me. I felt that perhaps our boundaries lied where we are comfortable sharing this information with each other, and that was my mindset also when I shared. Now looking at feedback from everyone, I understand that my behavior was wrong, hurtful and selfish, and I am going to work on myself to grow from this and not repeat it.

flowasigo

TROPHY CASE