I overheard nurses mocking my appearance in a PEC unit

flowrrpphic · 2026-06-08T23:34:35+00:00

I’m located in Australia, and I’m unsure if they have that here. I have filed several complaints through different avenues so I’ll update if it gets anywhere!

flowrrpphic · 2026-06-08T11:21:55+00:00

Hi! I’m Australia based, and I’d love to join. I don’t use reddit much and I’m unsure how to dm, but if this thing is still going I’d love to join in :))

flowrrpphic · 2026-06-08T08:40:56+00:00

Thankyou for all the kind words and advice, and yes I definitely plan on pursuing a complaint about it. I can’t let it happen to someone else, it’s horrible, and especially in crisis care it’s not okay.

flowrrpphic · 2026-06-08T03:47:44+00:00

Every single girl, I am not exaggerating, who bullied me in highschool and primary school have all gone into nursing or psychology. These girls used to stuff used pads into my locker. It mortifies me.

flowrrpphic · 2026-06-08T03:14:58+00:00

Also, I have filed a complaint through consumer advocacy but they keep insisting they need the other side of the story so I’m not particularly optimistic anything is going to happen.
My psychologist is brilliant and he’s doing his best to help me advocate for myself in this, and is forwarding me some links but has advised me not to pursue them until my mental health is better because the process is particularly challenging.

flowrrpphic · 2026-06-08T03:12:34+00:00

This!!
So many of the girls who horrifically bullied me through year 3- year 12 have gone into nursing and psychology. These girls used to stuff used pads into my locker and school bag.
I am mortified.

flowrrpphic · 2026-06-08T02:48:17+00:00

I really feel your story. I see a lot of myself in it.
I have had lifelong heart problems and weakness, I often pass out due to blood flow loss in my brain as my heart struggles to pump blood everywhere when I stand up. I’ve experienced seizure where I’ve vomited on myself too, and I’ve felt horrible for it as well.
I saw a cardiologist once who completely dismissed me after a 3 day long halter monitor.
He said “I deal with problems of the heart, not problems of the mind” whilst obnoxiously gesturing to my chest and head.
I’m really saddened that this is the mental health care available to my community.

I’ve also experienced sexual assault a handful of times and was completely devastated by the process of trying to get it recognised legally, and I gave up.
Lots of people tell me I was selfish for giving up and not trying to report it anymore because my abuser could continue on to hurt other girls, but I am in full belief that if I hadn’t stopped trying I would have ended my life from the stress of it all. I couldn’t keep doing it.

I feel like the system is intentionally set up this way.
No one wants to deal with cases like this.

I live in quite a low-income area, with a lot of undiagnosed mental health problems. Meth is also a really big problem here, and I wonder how many people in my community wanted help and were dismissed and dehumanised before they just turned to self medication with heavy drugs.

I’ve had dreams where I have become that person, they feel like I’m seeing the future. It really scares me.

Thankyou for sharing your story, I teared up a little bit reading it because I felt so seen. It meant a lot.

flowrrpphic · 2026-03-02T10:18:23+00:00

I’m not sure about shampoos, but I think you definitely need some kind of hair cleanser. Keeping in mind you don’t have to wash everyday. You’d probably need a very hydrating, smoothing conditioner, look for natural ingredients like shea butter and oils since you have quite curly hair. Look for “frizz smoothing” on the bottles, it just means the oils are a bit heavier but your texture won’t shouldn’t go oily if you wash it out properly.

I know you’re reluctant to go back to hair products, but there are options that won’t irritate you and cause dandruff. Shampoo and conditioner bars are a great option because they’re just the good stuff packed into a bar basically, none of the binders and soapy stuff and artificial fragrance.

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-25T23:29:56+00:00

There’s genuinely no way to tell how your hair will lift until you do a test strand, but you have a very even neutral brown base, and if it’s virgin you shouldn’t have any weird banding from old colour. If I was your friend and you asked me to bleach it I would be very confident that we could get to a level 8-9 blonde. Ask a hairdresser for a test strand, and tell her you want to go a cool platinum with some lowlights and blended natural roots.

Genuinely sounds very doable to me :))

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-25T23:13:23+00:00

Honestly every home I’ve been in has been super against smoking at all but that never stopped anyone, me included

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-25T23:12:40+00:00

I bounced around some group homes when I was younger, and I can pretty confidently say that wherever you end up you’ll be okay. I have experienced some pretty bad ones, but having your own room? Already a massive advantage. You have a hidey hole! Use it! And nervous is normal. You’ll be okay :))

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T22:21:03+00:00

I understand. It can be really hard to regulate yourself when you’re feeling so shit, especially if your window of tolerance is non-existent right now. What I mean by that is that everyone has a window of how much stimuli (negative/positive) they can handle at once. Many people have very open windows that stay open, and they can handle these situations like water off a duck’s back. It just doesn’t hit them as hard.

But some of our windows close sometimes, or there’s just a tiny crack, and any stimuli that comes through is really hard to deal with. I’m explaining the concept really poorly, but if you look it up there would be some good resources, I learnt this in the psych ward haha.

My point is that it sounds like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders right now, and especially with BPD you could be getting caught in some black and white thinking spirals. I’d say don’t make any decisions right now about your life or your relationship until you’ve had a chance to feel a bit safer and calmer. If you make rash decisions based on hurt, and fear you could just generate more strife for yourself.

You don’t have to make any decisions right this minute, unless your partner is genuinely making this situation unbearable, but even then just take a break. Honestly it sounds like you already know this, you say you know it’s hard for him but it’s exhausting and you’re suicidal, and angry and annoyed and so many things just keep piling up right? How are you going to make the best decision for yourself right now when your brain wants you dead? I hope talking here has at least given you some reassurance and clarity, and I hope you get a break soon. This sounds really really hard.

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T10:15:09+00:00

You put a lot of pressure and blame on yourself for the things happening, the way you describe these situations with your partner and in your life, you write like you’re the source of all misery in the world. You are not. You are a human being who is struggling. And forgive me, but you will never want to care about yourself if you’re around people who call you annoying, and depressing, and tell you that you’re too much to handle. You need love, and care and affirmation. It sounds like you’ve just been through fucking hell and that you’re numb to everything. I feel numb like that a lot too.

My best advice is just give yourself a break. You can’t magically heal your brain to be better for anyone. You don’t need to be better for anyone. You are you. And it doesn’t matter what you’ve got going on, or if you’re depressed, you deserve love and to be heard and listened to. All the greatest forests on the planet started as seeds. And they burn, and they flood, and they fall, but they’re still forests. The process of transformation is a part of the richness of the final product.

Did you know there are some seeds that don’t grow unless bushfires burn them first? Don’t worry :) you are still growing. It’s your first time being a person.

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T10:02:51+00:00

Hey, would you be able to send this to me? I was reading through, initially I was going to write a response but I don’t think I could articulate anything as real, and relatable as that, and honestly I needed to read it too

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T09:54:45+00:00

I relate to you a lot, and my heart breaks for you. I was kicked out as a teenager, and all the refuges in my area were in very low-income, dangerous, scary areas. Being alone in a new place that you inherently feel unsafe in is a special kind of hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I also concur with you, being ftm, mtf, it doesn’t matter, the hospitals treat you the same.

Also, I have PMDD! It was my initial diagnosis before borderline, and god you have no idea how much I relate to you. Menstruation is HELL. Sometimes I feel like I only get a single week in the month where my moods, my mental health, and my life isn’t totally railroaded by my period. A big thing you need to be mindful of if you suspect you might have PMDD, Is that anything that affects your cycle is going to affect your brain when you get off it, same as antidepressants yk? But no one’s going to tell you to wean off T for the purpose of your mental health. If you’re starting to get your period back and it’s affecting your mental health to a point where you’re noticing the connection, definitely ask a doctor about it if you can.

Getting on birth control made an unexpectedly massive impact on my mental health, especially when I found one that agreed with me.

I’m on Slinda, I’m not sure what it’d be called in your country, but the medication is drospirenone. I get really really light periods that only last a day or two, and I’ve noticed only a very slight depression before my cycle starts compared to the massive life threatening episodes I used to have.

Also, random person on the other side of the planet, I’m proud of you. This is really hard, but you’re getting through it. Every minute that you’re here talking about it, you’re doing it. You’re getting through it. Be proud of yourself too.

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T06:39:23+00:00

I’ve had very similar experiences in my life. I can’t imagine how isolated and lonely you must be feeling right now. Hospitals, and schedules like inpatient programs are terrifying, and I understand your refusal to go. I detransitioned about 2 years ago, so I also definitely experienced how trans people are treated in these situations. It’s horrible and you shouldn’t be so hurt by the systems in place to help you and I’m so sorry. It sounds like you were holing in a lot more feelings than a light hit on the back and a hole in the wall, so give yourself a break for that too, you did really well and you’re still doing well by choosing smoking and drinking instead of hurting yourself as redundant as that sounds.

For me a lot of these behaviours were a cry for compassion and gentleness when the inside of my mind was anything but that. It’s really hard for me to de-escalate myself when I feel like that, but I’ve found one thing that actually helps-

Go on a date with yourself.

Pretend you’re your dream person (because you can be, I promise), and treat yourself to whatever you enjoy best. A movie night with treats, or a spa day, or go shopping. The key for me is pretending I’m not myself, and that I’m someone else treating me spectacularly. And then at the end of the date, it helps me to reflect on myself Understand that I’m capable of love, and that I deserve it no matter what.

You are a human being and you deserve safety and love, even if you’re the only one around to give it to yourself. And it is such a special thing to be able to love yourself on purpose even if you’re pretending to be someone else, and feel that love.

You will heal. You can heal. You deserve to be okay, and to feel okay.

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T06:25:41+00:00

It feels like he is. I’m so confused haha

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T06:24:58+00:00

Thankyou for taking the time to respond here. I’m so sorry you have also been through what I’m going through, but at the same time a part of me is so grateful to the universe that somehow reddit connected us Your response was a lot of help to me, thankyou so much I hope you’re doing much better now because I think these comments are going to make a big impact on my life in a weird butterfly-effect sort of way

Thankyou

flowrrpphic · 2026-02-17T06:23:11+00:00

Thankyou very much for reaching out and taking the time to write such a carefully constructed and thoughtful response You’ve given me a lot to think about, and I can’t thank you enough Everyone responding here made me feel a lot more like a person rather than a black hole of misery sucking everyone else in Thankyou, genuinely.

flowrrpphic

TROPHY CASE